Chapter 22
Sophie
Why wasn’t he here? I wasn’t that late.
I stood twisting my hands, stretching up on my toes to look all around the town square for him as my racing anxiety threatened to sweep me away into worst-case scenarios.
When trying to get out the door, I had been delayed by putting on a fake mustache.
But once I finally got it on, it felt too sticky on my skin and kept tickling my nose.
I carefully removed it and lost a solid ten minutes.
I ended up borrowing Grandma’s hybrid SUV.
I hated driving it and parallel parking.
It took me several tries, more than I wanted to admit, until I was actually in a spot.
It would have been faster for me to walk.
Now, as I stood all alone, looking for him, I wondered if I’d messed up.
He’d brought up his costume a lot in the last week or so.
Had he wanted me to dress as Jane? I had thought about it, but he insisted that he wasn’t Tarzan, and if he wanted to coordinate costumes, he would have just asked.
He didn’t overthink everything like I did.
Was it possible that he saw my costume and it was so silly that he ran in the other direction?
No. He wouldn’t. I knew him better than that. These last few weeks all we’d done was grow closer. Yes, he was inexplicably helping me out of the kindness of his heart, like some weirdo, but also, I’d like to think that we’d become friends.
I called him again.
His phone went straight to voicemail. We’d been texting only minutes ago.
This wasn’t typical.
I had thought that being acquaintances with Pace would entail him carving out tiny slices of his overbooked social life for me from the frothing masses.
And he was a busy guy; every day he had some neighbor he agreed to help, or some guy from the firehouse who was providing pizza in exchange for extra hands moving.
A neighbor who wanted some stuff taken to the dumpster.
A niece’s recital or a poker game. But those were all superficial figures in his life.
I had imagined that he would have his main person.
He had Levi, but Levi was an introspective artist and newly engaged, so Pace and he rarely saw each other despite checking in most days.
When I was with Pace, he had this way of making me feel like I was the only person in town who he wanted to spend his time with.
It was a very dangerous way to feel because I had no doubt he made every person feel that way.
Regardless, it wasn’t in his character to stand me up. And maybe that was why the low-level dread in my stomach began to twist into something serious.
Was I paranoid, or did it seem there was a different, more anxious energy to the crowd milling about tonight? Then again, I always felt like I was missing out on crucial information that others had access to.
“Excuse me, can you tell me where Bookers is?” I was still turning side to side, waiting to see if Pace would show up. He wouldn’t abandon me. Even as the voice in my head told me that this was the plan all along. He would have me standing here in my ridiculous costume for all to see.
“Sir? Uh, ma’am? Did you hear me?”
“Yeah, sorry, of course.” I looked at the group of girls in their early twenties, each dressed as a different era of Britney Spears.
“Toxic” Brittany was the one talking to me.
I gave directions to Bookers without even flinching at the “ma’am” thrown out like a grenade.
“You ladies look amazing, by the way,” I added.
They flounced and spun, explaining each costume before heading in the direction of the local bar. The smile on my face melted as they walked away. I wanted to be proud of my growth when only last month I would have pretended I hadn’t heard them, but my nagging concern demanded more attention.
I didn’t even have a person in my life to do a couple’s costume with, let alone enough girlfriends to do an entire themed group costume. Pace did and probably would. Could he have decided to stay with his firehouse brothers?
No.
This was the anxiety and insecurity talking. I knew him now. I cared deeply for him, and he cared at least about my well-being in return. I trusted that. I had to.
I called Pace’s phone, but it went straight to voicemail again. It was fine. No need to panic.
If something happened, news of it would be making its way steadily through town. My feet had me moving, and I went in search of somebody who might know.
Sure enough, I didn’t have to go far until I spotted a group of older women, circled together, faces pinched with worry.
I walked right up to them, catching the tail end of a sentence that sent ice into my veins.
“. . . had to call everyone in. Even people from the next town over,” a woman I recognized from the shop said. She wore a purple beanie over short dark hair, lines of worry etched into the deep wrinkles of her face.
“What’s going on?” I asked, not caring that I had interrupted.
Distantly, I was horrified by my boldness, all too aware of their penetrating and confused stares at my intrusion into their conversation.
But there was no time to care about that right now. I had a growing fear that was worse than anything they could think about me.
They looked at me like they couldn’t place me, hesitant and glancing at each other to see who would go first, as if an outsider shouldn’t have access to this information.
Finally, Betsy from the General Store, stepped slightly to the side to let me into the circle.
“This is El’s granddaughter,” she said to the group.
Dawning understanding grew on their features.
“The one Pace has been going with . . .”
I didn’t take the time to correct them. I just needed information.
“Where is Pace?” My voice cracked embarrassingly.
With every minute that I didn’t hear from him, my suspicions grew.
Maybe it was an overreaction to something I couldn’t possibly know .
. . Yet my gut told me. He wasn’t working tonight.
He was supposed to be handing out candy and kissing babies.
“He was called in to help with a fire,” another woman explained gently.
I wasn’t hiding my fear well at all; the worry must be as visible as I felt it.
“What fire? Where?” I asked. My body was already turning, trying to leave so I could find him and make sure he was okay.
“There’s a big warehouse fire. Just on the edge of town, before the freeway. They were worried it would get too hot and jump the interstate to start a forest fire.”
“A couple of firefighters have already been hurt. We don’t know who,” another woman said, and the world zoomed in and out around me. I had to find him.
I was already moving toward the crowd in the center of town again, even as the women shouted after me. I needed to find Levi. He would know where Pace was and what to do.
“Sophie?” A pretty brunette came to a stop in front of me as I looked around.
“Yeah?” I was searching for Levi.
“Sorry, I wasn’t sure it was you. You are exactly how he described.
” The stranger shook her head. “Doesn’t matter.
Levi!” she called to a tall figure who moved his way over.
Understanding slid over me. This was Levi and his fiancée, Claire.
This was the first time I’d talked to them face-to-face after hearing all about them secondhand from Pace.
I wished it was in much better circumstances, so I could focus on saying nice things and making a good first impression, but I couldn’t care right now. I could only think of Pace and a burning building.
“We were looking for you,” Levi said. He tugged off his Phantom of the Opera mask.
“You were?” I asked. My heart raced; my thoughts were moving so fast I almost couldn’t keep up with this conversation.
“We were with Pace when he got called in. He was waiting for you. He wanted to make sure you knew that he didn’t ditch you.”
Pace’s thoughtfulness, knowing I would be worried, soothed some part of me while amplifying my desire to see him. I just needed to look at him and know that he was okay.
We were all walking, presumably toward where the rumored fire was. We walked as quickly as we could without running, but it wasn’t fast enough. Claire half-jogged to keep up.
“I heard. Do you know where he is?” I asked, winded from nerves and exertion.
“We just know where the fire is.”
“I’m going to go,” I said as I decided.
“Maybe we shouldn’t. They probably don’t want people there, it’s a safety risk,” Claire said cautiously.
“I-I just need to make sure he’s okay,” I said. I had already begun to spin back around to where Grandma’s SUV waited for me.
“We’re coming with,” Levi said, close behind.
“I don’t think we should get too near the fire,” Claire added.
“I won’t,” I said to her and to Levi, “Just tell me where to go.”
Before they were even buckled in the back seat, I maneuvered out of the spot with the speed of a secret spy.
Levi had his eyes closed, knuckles grasping the headrest of the passenger seat, the entire time.
I wanted to speed, but the last thing I needed was to get in a wreck or be pulled over on my way to see if Pace was okay.
I drove abhorrently close to the speed limit but never over, so Levi’s highly dramatic behavior was not my fault.
Claire chatted worriedly about the logistics of it all, but I couldn’t reply. My whole body was clenched like a fist. I wanted to talk and make a good impression on Pace’s friends, but I could only focus on willing us to get there faster.
In the rearview mirror, I saw Levi grab Claire’s hand and squeeze. She stopped talking and smiled at him. “Thanks,” she whispered softly.
No matter how long we drove, the column of smoke never seemed to change in size. We couldn’t drive fast enough, hard enough. It was one of those stress dreams where everything around me stayed still as I struggled to move forward.
I whipped onto the freeway and merged between semis and cars. Finally, the exit we needed was next.