Chapter 24 #3
“No, wait. When was all this?” Pace held my hand with the pen until I looked up at him.
“Last week,” I said, flushing with no way of hiding it and not even sure that I cared. “When you didn’t show up for our—at our meeting spot on Halloween, I was concerned. Then, when I heard about the fire, I went a little berserk.”
His brows narrowed, and his mouth formed a hard line. “I’m sorry.”
“Please. God, no. You cannot apologize. You were doing your job. I don’t even know what happened.
I just freaked out. But I won’t do it again.
I promise. Something came over me. I don’t even recognize the person that I became.
I think I parallel parked at some point.
I don’t think that I could ever do that again, gun to my head. ”
He swallowed, his gaze moving all over my face as though to make sure I was okay. “And in your search for me, you did all these things?”
“Yeah. Wild, right? Technically, you can still take some credit if you want.”
He was about to say something else when I looked back to the list.
Nothing ventured . . .
I felt sick. I was going to bring up the thing that we weren’t discussing . . .
My hand moved to cross off “superhot make-out session” when he stopped me again.
“Hey, now. That’s not been done.” His teasing smile fell. “Wait. Right?”
I blinked. My cheeks had to be bright red and flaming now.
“Well, you were there . . .” Did he really not remember the incendiary kiss that forever changed my life? Was that no more a common event for him than saving cats from trees?
Oh, I’d been a fool. I had thought about that kiss over and over since that night. Dreamt about it, woke up tangled in sheets after replaying it.
And he hadn’t even registered it.
“Sophie.” His voice was low but demanding. I forced myself to meet his gaze despite my mortification. “That was not a ‘superhot make-out session.’”
“Ah. For us mere mortals—”
“No. No. This isn’t whatever tale you’re telling yourself.” He turned more fully toward me. I mirrored him. He leaned even closer. I did too. “That kiss we shared was very hot, very, very hot. Don’t get me wrong.”
“It was a big fire . . .”
“Don’t do that. Don’t downplay it. But I’m saying that while that kiss was a remarkable thing, it wasn’t making out,” he said.
I couldn’t speak . . . Remarkable. I swallowed.
“That was a few seconds surrounded by people in the midst of my day job.” He shook his head with a soft huff of a laugh. “A SHMOS—that’s what I’m calling it now—is not that. That was just a little bit of PDA.”
“Too many acronyms.” Though I thrilled that he considered my display affectionate. I swallowed, watching his mouth. “W-what is it then?” I asked with every ounce of bravery I could muster.
“A SHMOS is much more.”
“We should workshop the name,” I mumbled, but was lost in the soft tenderness of his gaze.
“First of all, it’s private. Just two people in a bubble of desire.” His voice was a low whisper that tickled up my spine.
I nodded, feeling hazy and almost drugged.
“It’s long too,” he whispered.
My eyebrows lifted.
“Not just a few seconds,” he clarified. “It’s minutes, dozens if not more. Hours if needed.”
“Right.” My agreement sounded more like a sharp inhale.
“It’s tongues and mouths teasing each other, teaching each other.
” His breath tickled my mouth as he spoke.
I was all but panting. “It’s caressing each other.
Hands exploring. Bodies grinding until you’re so caught up in the other person you can’t even think clearly.
You can’t even stop or ever get enough. Searing, all-consuming need.
All the while, your lips never separate, and your clothes stay on. ”
Why was that the sexiest thing I had ever heard? Why was I so heavy with need that I felt dizzy? Could you pass out from being turned on?
The hard line of his jaw flexed as his nostrils flared. There was no denying the power of him talking about this. I felt myself clenching, needing him.
The air was heavy with tension. His chest rose and fell as quickly as mine.
We were so close I felt every one of his inhalations.
He had to know what he had just done to me.
He had to see it in the way my cheeks flushed, my lids heavy as my eyes wouldn’t stop devouring him, how my mouth parted to taste him.
Heat burned up my chest; desire pooled low in my belly.
“You see the difference now?” His eyes never left mine as he took the list and pen from my lap and put them on the table.
“I do.” My mouth felt dry, and yet I had to swallow the moisture that collected.
“Too bad you don’t know anybody nearby that could help,” he teased, leaning ever closer.
I smiled right before his mouth met mine, and I said, “I mean . . . there are a lot of single guys at the firehouse who—Ah!”
Pace had me on my back, flat against the cushions in a flash. I laughed and squealed as he pinned my wrists and spread my legs wide to rest in between.
“Not a chance,” he said, nostrils flaring. He growled as he playfully nipped up my neck and into my hairline.
I giggled at first, but the sound faded as he shifted to hover above me, staring down into my face.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “I’d never hurt you.”
“I know. I’m not,” I whispered, confused as to why he stopped.
“You’re trembling.” He shifted so that less of his weight was on me. He freed my wrists, and blood rushed into my palms, tingling my fingertips.
“It’s all the talk of SHMOS,” I said, the side of my mouth curling. I brought my hands to his thick hair and scraped my nails along his scalp.
His eyes rolled back as he closed them briefly, leaning into my touch, mouth falling open. It displayed the handsome tendons of his neck.
It was nice to see I had some effect on him too. I actively fought from arching up my hips to grind against him.
“I’d love to show you, if you’re interested in checking something off tonight after all,” he said when he opened his eyes again.
“Very interested.”
That muscle that’d been calling me since I first looked up and saw him from the month of August flexed sexily at me. I leaned up and softly bit it.
He chuckled. “What’s that for?”
“I thought we were biting each other. Is that okay?”
His gaze heated. “Yes.”
“What’s this muscle? I love it. I want to marry it.”
“It’s part of a package deal,” he said.
And before I could overthink that comment, he lowered his mouth to mine. I lifted up my chin to meet him.
He balanced on his forearms as we kissed. A real hot make-out kiss. Our tongues flirted and collided. I roamed my hands over his neck and shoulders before moving them to his rib cage.
I wasn’t the only one trembling now.
“I like that. I like how you touch me,” he said tenderly.
“I like touching you. We make a good team.”
“We really do,” he said before kissing me deeply some more.
His length was pressed against my hip and pelvis.
It rocked slightly into me as we both moved unconsciously against each other.
He was large and hard, and it made me equal parts turned on and intimidated.
I wanted to hold him, measure his heft with my hands so I could better figure out how I could take it all in.
I could imagine tracing the shape of it through his pants.
It made me want to reach between us to stroke him.
It made me ache with need like never before.
Overwhelmed by unchecked physical desire.
I’d never had this overriding directive to touch and explore. It was always a wish for less sensory stimulation and more hiding out. But Pace made me so bold. In so many ways, he taught me about parts of myself I never knew existed.
What else would he let me do to him in order to help me find myself?