14. Akemi #2
Lorenzo looked questioningly at their son. He was still such a baby, but so heavy now – especially when he was sound asleep.
“I’ll put him in his stroller. He sleeps well there. Usually he’ll sleep longer on a walk than he will if I try to put him down on the bed.”
“Okay, yes. I would like that.”
Akemi carefully transferred Kaleo to his stroller, and they set off down the street at an easy pace. Lorenzo chatted to her about the business he had built.
“I want to get to the point that I can run it remotely,” he said. “I will still be responsible for the website, the bookkeeping, all of that – but my employees will run all my tours without me. This trip will be a trial run.”
“I like the sound of that,” Akemi said.
He smiled at her, and her stomach did a little flip.
How strange, she thought, to have a crush on her son’s father.
How embarrassing.
How wonderful.
They walked all the way to town, and she stopped in front of the house that sat empty next to Laurie’s bookshop. Lorenzo tilted his head to one side, watching her with curiosity.
“You like this place?” he asked.
“I do.”
“Are you wanting to move out of your mother’s house?”
“No. I like being able to come and go. I don’t want to rent a place of my own.”
“Then what?”
“I’m opening a coffee shop,” she blurted, turning to face him.
He blinked in surprise. “You are starting your own business?”
“I haven’t told anyone yet. Well, Laurie. Kind of. But I haven’t talked to her about it since I went to see Auntie Kua.”
“Who is that?”
“She’s the one who owns this building.”
“I see.”
“She likes the idea.” Akemi launched into telling him about her business plan, a café designed especially for parents of young children. She was so excited that her words tumbled over each other.
Lorenzo listened patiently, giving her his full attention.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“It’s a wonderful idea. But…” His eyes were sad.
“What?”
“We could do this together in Italy.”
Akemi swallowed and looked away.
“You don’t want to,” he said.
“My family is here.”
“And mine is there.”
“Not all of it.” Akemi shot him a look. “Rory missed you.”
Lorenzo flinched.
“We missed you,” she added.
He turned and walked away, pacing the sidewalk. He didn’t get far before he turned around and walked back towards her. As he got closer, she saw such obvious pain in his eyes that she immediately felt guilty.
“Everyone I love most is here,” Lorenzo said, taking her hand. He looked close to tears. “You are here. My children are here. But my work is in Italy, and I cannot just abandon my parents, not while my father, he is so sick.”
She squeezed his hand. “I get it.”
“I cannot just leave him.”
“Enzo, I understand.”
“But I don’t want to leave him either.” A tear rolled down Lorenzo’s cheek as he reached towards their son. “I miss him terribly. I miss my daughter just as much. And I miss you, Akemi. More than I can say.”
She looked at him, feeling for him – but even as she held his hand, frustration ate away at the edges of her empathy.
Akemi and Lorenzo met for the first time when he came to Hawaii to get to know his daughter. He adored her… and yet it had been nearly a year since his last visit.
It was one thing to make grand statements. It was another to actually uproot his life and show up for his children.
Rory wasn’t going anywhere. Wasn’t that reason enough for all of them to stay?
“It feels as though my heart is torn in two,” he said.
Akemi didn’t know what to say to that. She turned the stroller around and started back down towards the sea.
The walk home felt long and heavy.
She spent the second half of the day cleaning up after the party while Lorenzo fed and played with Kaleo. He finally handed their son back to her at dusk, when he was ready for bed.
Akemi nursed him to sleep and then sat on the edge of her bed, staring out at the moonlit water and wondering why her life felt like such a tangled mess.
A soft knock came on the door, and she went to answer it. Lorenzo stood there, doe-eyed and sad. She let him in without a word.
He walked over to the bed, looking down at their son. Akemi closed the door softly and went to stand beside him. Kaleo looked so angelic when he was asleep, all big soft cheeks and pouty pink lips. He was still just a baby.
“I don’t want to leave you,” Lorenzo said after a while. “Either of you.”
“I know,” she said, not quite meeting his eyes.
But wanting wasn’t good enough.
He had the power to make a different choice… so why didn’t he?
“Akemi, I’m serious. I want to stay.”
Now she looked him in the eye. “You mean it?”
“I mean it,” he said, reaching for her hand. “You are my family now.”
“What about your business? And your dad?”
“I’ll figure it out. I’ll find a way.”
“Are you sure?”
“I can’t bear to be away from you – or my children. I missed so much with Rory. The thought of missing more memories with either one of them breaks my heart.”
Akemi looked at him for a long moment, a new feeling buzzing beneath her skin. The possibility of building a life with him – a real life, and a real relationship – was electrifying… but she was afraid to let herself hope.
“Lorenzo, do you mean it? Really mean it?”
“Do you want me here?” he asked quietly.
“I do.”
He stepped forward and kissed her. It was the first real, passionate kiss that they had shared in well over a year – and it felt like the start of something.
“I owe my parents my life,” he said after a moment, still holding her in his arms, “but sometimes it feels as though my whole heart is here. They’ll understand.”
Kaleo woke with a sudden cry. Akemi broke away and picked him up, rocking him and shushing him. He quieted but still clung to her, frightened by whatever nightmare had disturbed his sleep.
Lorenzo moved towards the door.
“I’ll let you rest,” he said – but there was reluctance in his eyes and in his voice.
“Stay,” she said, reaching for him. “Please.”
He silently closed the door and moved towards her again. Gingerly, he sat next to her on the edge of the bed and put an arm around her.
Kaleo stared up at both of them with wide black eyes. The side of his mouth curled up in a smile. Then, slowly, he drifted back to sleep.
Akemi leaned into Lorenzo, taking in his warmth, letting him support her. And for the first time, she let herself believe that they might be able to make a real go of things.
She let herself believe that he would stay.