Chapter 14 #2
He would make a day of it. Diamonds would suit her.
Square cut and exquisite. Nothing ostentatious.
Something tasteful and expensive of course.
He wanted to shower her with, well, everything.
He had to leave her early in the morning, or he could ask his uncle to take the meeting with the farmers.
And spend the morning with her or part of it.
He wanted to talk to her, ask her permission to tell his father and uncle her story.
The truth about her. It did not matter to him, but it might matter to her. So, he was going to respect her wishes.
Bending his head, he kissed the top of hers, chuckling softly when she burrowed against him. With her scent in his nostrils, he drifted off, a smile on his face.
*****
The heady scent of coffee woke her and had her moaning her way into full awareness.
Her eyes flickered open to see the pale early morning sunlight peeping through the curtains.
She felt wonderfully tired and amazingly used.
Her nipples were sore. She smiled at how comfortable she was in her nudity.
She had always been such a prude. With Everton, she had never undressed all the way.
He had teased her offhandedly about her shyness, calling it 'adorable.
' Raising up against the headboards, she stretched languidly.
She had told Kenneth how she felt and even in the cold light of day, it did not want to make her take it back or experience any feeling of regret. Hugging the knowledge of how he had reacted, she wrapped her hands around her drawn up knees and smiled.
Yes, there were still pockets of distrust, still feelings of inadequacy lingering around inside her.
She still had to face the backlash from her past, but she was determined to put it all behind her for now.
She was in love! And it felt wonderful. Shoving the sheets away, she bounded off the bed.
Only taking time to brush her teeth and wash her face, she put on a robe and had to force herself not to race from the room.
He might have left. At the thought of it, the bereft feeling staggered her for a minute. Before she had time to consider, she slowed to a sedate pace and followed her nose.
Emotions stormed and raged as she saw him standing with his back to her, one strong hand holding a cup.
He had showered and was wearing the clothes he had worn for the parade yesterday.
The ash gray slacks emphasized the length of his legs and the black sweater stretched across his broad shoulders.
A shiver went up and down her spine as she remembered what those clever long fingers holding the cup had done to her last night and this morning.
As if sensing her presence, he turned dark green eyes scanning her face.
He was looking for any signs of regret. And had been worrying that she was going to change her mind.
Relief flooded him when he saw none and gave him the impetus to cross the room.
Putting the cup away, he framed her face and drew her up for a kiss that melted her bones.
"Hi," he whispered against her mouth. It still shocked him that after exhausting them both last night, he could want her with an intensity that defied logic. "You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you."
"The coffee did." She curled her fingers around his wrists and inhaled his scent. "You're leaving."
"Not for another hour or so. I shifted around some appointments. I want to talk to you."
Her heart did a little flutter, but she ignored it.
"All right. Coffee first."
"Naturally." Kissing her again, he set her aside and nudged her towards the counter.
"There are some food left over--"
"I'll grab something later. Thanks." She took the cup from him and settled back to enjoy the caffeine fix.
He poured himself another cup and came to sit across from her.
She looked sleepily rumpled and incredibly sexy.
He wondered which he admired most, her skin or her liquid brown eyes and decided it was a toss up between the two.
Cradling her cup, she stared out the window, smiling at the antics of two squirrels chasing each other up the birch swaying in the morning breeze.
It was light enough for her to see butterflies flitting from rose petals to tulips and wondered fleetingly if she had ever noticed the beauty of nature.
"It's hard to believe that I've been here almost a month. My rental has almost ran out."
He figured it was kismet or fate that had her bringing up the topic he had spent the early morning struggling with.
"There's no need to pay down any more money," he began, when she shook her head, a determined expression on her lovely face.
"I don't expect to live free just because I'm sleeping with you."
The annoyance was swift and had to be tamped down. Take it easy, he cautioned himself. She's still vulnerable.
"I want you to move in with me."
She jolted and put down her cup slowly as if afraid it would break.
Before she could respond, he rushed on. "It's logical. We spend most if not all the time together." Reaching for her hands, he gripped her fingers. "I also would like your permission to tell my uncle and my dad who you really are. You can count on their discretion--"
She started to retreat. He saw it first on her very expressive face, before she tugged her hands away.
"You want me to live with you."
"Or you could just marry me."
Panic raced inside her with the speed of a bulleting train and had her breath strangling inside her throat. The voice was shouting inside her head, saying she wasn't ready.
"I can't."
He went still. He had expected some resistance at first and was prepared for it. But this was more than that. She was refusing him.
"Which proposal?" he asked tightly.
"I cannot live with you and marriage--" She waved a helpless hand.
"That's, that's a very big step. One I'm not sure I'm ready for yet.
" She saw the hurt look on his face and wanted to cry.
He was spoiling it. Can't he see how difficult it had been for her to expose her feelings to him?
She loved him, couldn't that be enough for now?
"I want everything." His voice was soft but inflexible.
"I want you as my wife, the mother of my children.
I want a family with you, and I'm not prepared to settle for less.
It would be foolish for you to spend more money on rent when there's a big house available to you. I'm the one who's been coming here--"
"I'm not ready!" Shoving back the chair, she paced to the counter and pressed her hands against the cold tile. "You think that because I told you that I loved you, that you can just up and start running my life?" She whirled to face him, eyes spitting fire.
If he wasn't so stunned and heartsick, he would have admired the magnificence of her temper, but it was not the time.
Now he had to find a way to keep his frustrations from making him say the wrong thing.
He had achieved a victory last night, he had to make that be enough for now.
But damn if it didn't hurt. He had proposed to a woman for the first time in his life and she was throwing it back in his face.
"I'm not him." He enunciated carefully, eyes holding hers. "And I'm not your father. Loving someone doesn't mean controlling them. Far from it. I offered my love freely and I would never use the way I feel to cage you. That's not me."
She felt the frustrated tears burning the back of her eyes.
He was right. She was painting him with the same brush as her father and the man she had had a debilitating relationship with.
He had never given her any reason to doubt his sincerity.
But she had been burned in the past. She loved him yes, that much was true, but marriage, that sort of commitment was not something she wanted to think about just now.
"I need time." Her anger had dissolved, and the pleading look on her face broke him. He could continue to treat her like a Dresden China, skipping and skirting issues she was dealing with, or he could force her to face them, with him.
He chose the latter and with that in mind, he rose and crossed over to her. Lifting her clenched fists, he kissed the knuckles and felt when she gave all the way.
"I want marriage," he told her softly. "In case you've not been noticing, I'm all the way in love with you.
" He pried her fingers loose and spread them, admiring the elegance and delicacy.
"I want you to wear my ring, not to control you, but as a token of my wonderful love for you.
I will always be your biggest supporter.
Whatever you want to do, I will be there, standing next to you and offering my love and devotion.
" Lifting her left hand, he pressed it over where his heart was beating steadily.
"I've never been in love before, and this is my first marriage proposal. I'm planning on it being my last."
Her heart ached. Her throat burned with unshed tears, and she could feel the lump growing steadily. Her fingers curled into his cashmere sweater and for a minute, she gazed past his left shoulder as her composure all but crumpled.
"Don't do this to me," she whispered.
"I'm yours," he was going to use words, not only to bring across his point, but to seduce her.
To comfort her, to remove all doubts and fears still lingering.
If that's what it takes, he was going to use them.
"All yours. I promise right here and now that there will never be anyone who loves you like I do. "
Tucking his fingers beneath her chin, he forced her to look at him. "I'm not just saying that darling. I mean every single word."
She moved into him with a speed that staggered him. Her arms came around his waist as she buried her face in his chest. He felt the tears soaking his sweater and automatically rubbed his hands up and down her back to soothe, to reassure. And hoped to God that they were happy tears.
Finally, when he thought he could not bear it any longer, she lifted her tear drenched face to his.
Taking a deep breath, she nodded. The lump was still lodged firmly, not giving her a chance to say anything.
But he saw the answer on her face and was surprised he did not die from the joy of it.
Scooping her into her arms, he carried her back to the room and spent the next hour worshiping her body.