Chapter 9 #2
“Okay, Oscar. Hold him down while I get his other nostril.”
Smiling, Oscar followed his mother’s instructions and laid his full bodyweight down on Keys’ chest with complete confidence that he was enough to hold Keys down.
Keys’ eyes went comically wide, recalling the pain he’d endured at the Great Stick Pulling of ten minutes ago. “What? No!” Keys protested, but Rose clucked her tongue in clear reprimand.
“Oscar’s strong, Keys. I’m confident he can hold you down,” she said pointedly. That wicked smile on her face all the proof Keys needed to know that she was having the time of her life at his expense.
And like the fool he was, Keys melted. His bones and muscles completely turned into goo at a mere look from her. There was nothing on this earth that would or could get him to move—not even the knowledge of the pain he was about to endure.
Sensing his compliance, Rose smiled down at him, reached around Oscar, and grabbed for the second stick.
* * *
“You’re secretly a masochist, aren’t you?”
Rose turned her head on the pillow to look at Keys.
He was lying on the other side of the queen bed in her room with an icepack over the bridge of his nose.
After putting Oscar back to bed, she’d taken Keys into her bathroom where she helped scrape out the rest of the wax from his ears.
She didn’t seem to have the ability to stop smiling.
Her cheeks were so sore, and yet the joy she felt this evening surpassed any discomfort.
“Maybe a little,” she admitted. Honestly, she’d never considered herself one before. But tonight had been the most fun she’d had in a very long time.
Rolling, Rose tucked her hand under her cheek on the pillow. “I’ve been unfair to you.”
Keys jumped at her words. Putting down the ice pack, he turned so he, too, was facing her. “What? Why would you say that?”
“I don’t…” Rose closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
“I don’t know how to be with you, Keys. I want to be—and if it was just me, I wouldn’t be hesitating like this.
Probably,” she added for honesty’s sake.
“But being with you… It’s terrifying! I want to believe in us so badly, want to believe in your promises and the future you described to me…
” She shook her head, licking her lips. “I’ve never been in a relationship before, Keys.
Not a real one, at least. I might have a child, but he wasn’t created out of love.
Maybe I thought it was love at the time, but that doesn’t make it any better.
Because I didn’t know what love was to know what it wasn’t to be able to know that I wasn’t in a loving relationship at the time.
” Rose winced at her ramblings. “I just mean that I don’t know how to be with you.
And if I mess it up, and history shows that there’s a high possibility of that, then it’s not just me that gets hurt.
I’m a mom, Keys. First and foremost, I have to think about Oscar.
Which means that you’ll always be second, and that’s not fair to you. ”
Keys slowly scooted across the isthmus separating them until his head came to rest on the pillow next to hers.
Mirroring her pose, he tucked his left hand under his cheek.
“I’ve got news for you, Rose Benson. I hate to tell you, babe, but the moment you introduced Oscar to my life, you took the lowly position of second place.
Maybe I don’t know him yet and he doesn’t know me, maybe he’ll never feel comfortable enough to call me ‘Dad’, but he’s still my first priority. ”
Rose’s chin trembled and she blinked away tears at his confession. “Really?”
“Personally, I’d be questioning your sanity if he wasn’t your priority, Rose. He should be first. All kids should be. And one day when we can introduce him to the club, he’ll have countless other protectors that will also put him first.”
That knowledge settled something within her. “Not just your club, either. When that day comes, I’m also going to have to tell Poison about me.”
Keys nodded slowly. “Yeah, you will. Have you thought anymore on how or when to do that?”
Rose scrunched her nose. “Let’s tackle the roaches first, and then I can deal with my sister. Still nothing?”
“I haven’t checked since Cage came into my office earlier, but my system would have alerted me if there was anything major going on.”
Another fear rose up inside. “What if I’ve been wrong all these years? What if no one cares? I’ve been running and no one’s chasing me?”
Keys carefully laid his hand on her hip.
He even waited a second to see if she would tell him to remove it before he rocked her slowly.
“We opened a can of worms and cast out several lines with our stunt at the park.” He shrugged, “And maybe no one takes the bait. That’s not a bad thing, baby.
Your paranoia hasn’t brought anyone any harm.
Above all, you were protecting yourself and your son. No one can fault you for that.”
“Even if it kept my identity a secret unnecessarily?”
“We can’t change the past, Rose. All we can do is live for now in the hopes of building a better future.
” A mischievous glint filled his gray-blue eyes.
“Besides, I didn’t promise you a fishing trip.
I promised you revenge. So make your list, check it twice for who was naughty and not nice, and we’ll go hunting. ”
Rose’s lips twitched. “So far you’ve mixed baseball and fishing references. There’s a possibility that you called my son a worm, me Santa Claus, and I can’t decide if I like referring to my enemies as roaches or fish better.”
Keys snorted. “Yeah, I’m not exactly a ‘smooth-talking rogue’ away from my keyboard.”
Rose shimmied her way closer to him. “I don’t need a smooth-talking rogue.
I need the man who has cared for me, supported me, risked everything for me, including hiding me from his motorcycle club.
I don’t need swagger and a gorilla-man who beats his chest and carries a marked ruler in his pocket with the exaggerated inches of his dick.
” Taking a chance, Rose reached down to his hand on her hip and brought it up to her chest. She bent her head to kiss his palm before placing it over her left breast. “I just need you, Keys.”
His eyes widened, fixed on the sight of his hand cupping her. “I don’t… I shouldn’t…”
Rose pressed herself even closer. “You can and you should,” she encouraged.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Keys said the words so fast that they were practically a single syllable.
“You can’t take advantage of what’s freely given, Keys.” Chuckling, Rose leaned toward and kissed his nose. “After all, you just waxed for me. I wanted to show my appreciation.”
Keys’ grip on her breast tightened as Rose lowered her mouth to his.
* * *
Holy fuck… Keys was twenty-six years old. Men his age spent their time sleeping their way through women, and some even had kids! Keys had kissed one woman in his life, and it barely qualified as a kiss. No woman had ever touched him or allowed him to touch her as Rose was doing.
Phantom ants crawled everywhere along his skin as butterflies took up residence in his stomach. And his dick? He might be inexperienced, but even he knew better than to refer to it as the python in his pants.
Instinct told Keys to press his lips against hers, but he had no idea what to do with his tongue.
Why hadn’t he researched this? Was it a dip in and out or was he supposed to, like, twist his tongue around hers?
What about his teeth? And his nose? He’d literally just waxed his nose, and beyond that it was still throbbing, snot seemed to be in a free fall right now. What if he got snot all over her?
And his hands! His hand was still on her boob.
Her tit? Breast? What the fuck was he supposed to call it?
Why hadn’t he paid more attention in porn or read a romance book or something?
Anything to give him more than the physical mechanics.
Obviously he knew what was supposed to go where, but the lingo…
Crap, was he supposed to dirty talk to her? Keys had no idea how to dirty talk!
When was the appropriate time to tell a girl he loved her?
He’d made it known that he wanted to be with her, but he hadn’t said those three specific words.
Didn’t women want to be told that? He was pretty sure he’d heard the ol’ ladies talking about it once, sharing the first time their men had said “I love you” to them.
That was a thing, then, right? It was important. He should do that.
Maybe?
How did his club brothers do this? How did they know what to do? Was there such a thing as sex classes? Maybe he should take some of those. Put the brakes on now, and come back once he knew what it was he was supposed to do.
Keys didn’t know when his panic had taken over to the point when his lips had stopped moving. Like an idiot, he lay there frozen as Rose tried to continue their kiss. It didn’t take her long to realize he wasn’t kissing her back, though, and she immediately pulled back.
“What is it?”
Everything was happening so fast. His dick was fully engaged in whatever was going on, while his heart hammered away in his chest like it was a war drum summoning the gods to battle, and his brain was in such disarray that it would take a professional librarian to sort through the index of his thoughts to put it back in order.
And his stupid hand was still on her boob!
Keys yanked it back, because that was rude, right? He should have moved it to her back while they were kissing. People in movies did that.
“Keys?”
He jerked at his name, feeling like a fuse had just been lit under his skin. But he didn’t know if he was about to explode or shoot off.
Rose’s initial concern turned to confusion and worry, and was now phasing into embarrassment. She ducked her head down, her cheeks red. “I understand. I’m sorry I kissed you. I must have… I misunderstood. I shouldn’t have—”