Chapter 16 - Viktor #2
“Anton knows?”
“And never lets me forget it.”
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been trying to—” What, fit in? Be enough? Be worthy of the risk Sergei Zakharov took, raising his bastard as the spare?
Words fail me, and that feels fucking stupid. I should know what to say at this point, shouldn’t I? It’s the narrative of my whole life.
The narrative I have to articulate for Nadya to understand why I’ve committed the sins I have.
“You don’t have to,” Nadya takes mercy on me. Mercy, I don’t fucking deserve from her after what I’ve put her through, especially today. “Where does New York fit in? You’re doing it behind Anton’s back?”
“He’s given me no other option.” I sigh because it costs me to admit it matters to me.
It’s always mattered to me. And that has never, ever mattered to him.
“He’s never let me in. I can’t vanish, because I am his second-in-command.
But I’ll never be taken seriously, as one of two.
Boris, Maxim’s father, is the de facto advisor. I’m the fucking figurehead.”
“Can I ask about New York?”
My stony features soften over her. “I said anything, Nadya. Ask.”
“I’m asking.”
“I started building my operation here two years ago. Formally, at least. It’s a bridge I’ve negotiated between New York, Boston, and Moscow.
The only bits of bratva business Anton’s ever let me truly handle are the low-level shit.
But that information on paths, eye for opportunities, whose palms to grease, where a foothold pays off, goes a long way. It did with the Solntsevskaya.”
“So, you’re—freelancing?” She looks pleased with herself for making me laugh. She should. It’s a feat.
“Close enough. A consultant, you could call it.”
“And you can’t tell your brother, because it’ll look like betrayal?”
“I’ll tell him,” I protest. “That’s always been the plan.
It just needs to be a solid entity before he knows.
It needs to be impossible for him to claim it as a Zakharov operation, because it’s fucking not.
It’s taken me a long time to be seen as something other than Anton’s second, which is fucked, because I’m not really. ”
“Not to be insensitive to your super Shakespearean brother-drama, honey, but where the hell do my brothers come in?”
“They’re incapable of minding their fucking business.”
“Hey,” she snaps, instantly punching my arm. It actually fucking hurts. It’s concerning that I hardened a little over it.
“That’s what got Number Two shot in the first place. He was snooping at the docks and almost caught me.”
“Number two,” Nadya jeers, “is called Valentin. Well, Val. Probably Valentin to you.”
“I’m not fighting with you about your brother while you’re naked with my cum dripping out of your pussy, Nadya.”
“What about what you did to Gela? To Janella?”
“What did I do?”
“You—you intimidated—”
“I did nothing to Janella. That was her own crazy motherfucker father. I think I’ve proven to you that I’m pretty good at kidnapping a woman.
Do you really think I’d outsource it and fail?
As for Gela Jones. All those theatrics were to—successfully, might I add—distract your brother,” I say.
“Nadya, he was stalking her instead of just staking out the building. I knew he was surveilling my goings-on, and I saw the opportunity to distract them. I was using her corporation as cover, sure, but that was my money, along with the seed money I graciously let her have. Then he married her. Your brothers don’t seem to understand how easy it is to get records of a marriage certificate from the clerk’s office. ”
“And what, you’re not going to be found out?”
My smirk pronounces itself. “We, you mean. And no, I don’t count on it. They don’t know about New York, remember? And I’m a ghost in Boston.”
She doesn’t appear happy. The post-coital glow, much to my dismay, has dulled. “I remember,” Nadya says somberly.
“What is it? Ask me. I’ll tell you the truth.”
Nadya looks at me for a long moment, as if trying to discern something.
She must not find the answer in the lines she’s trying to read on my face.
“Where do I come in? Isn’t there a chance you abducted me and are holding onto me as a fuck you?
If I’m here, I can’t ruin your plans. They’ll be so worried about me, they won’t—”
“What, find me?” I laugh. It’s a hollow sound.
But I told her I wouldn’t lie to her, and so I won’t.
“Maybe, in the beginning, there was a part of me that thought of that as a pro. And that was fucking stupid. You’ve done nothing but ruin my plans, baby.
Everywhere you go, you wreck ‘em. And everywhere you aren’t, you still are.
Your voice in my head, talking shit. I took you because I wanted you.
There are other pros. But my inability to get you out of my system is the beginning and end of everything. ”
“The end?” Nadya questions in a small voice.
“Yes.” I nod firmly, despite the way my chest tightens in objection. “If you ask me to, I will let you go right now. This instant. I will give you the bike keys, let you go, and disappear. You only have to ask.”
“—And if I ask you to stay, and come back to Boston with me?”
Well, I hadn’t been planning on her to throw a fucking counteroffer in my face. Again, stupid of me. I should’ve. It’s so Nadya to do it.
With a snort, I shrug and plant a kiss on her lips. “I would do it.”
“That’s a really bad idea. Like, actively dangerous. Possibly fatal. Who were you saying has no self-preservation skills?” Laughing, Nadya shakes her head at me like I’m crazy. I am—about her, most of all.
“Everything about us is probably dangerous,” I agree. Yet she squirms in my arms, and it doesn’t feel dangerous at all. This only feels good. And it feels right. “And worth it.”