Chapter Sixteen
“You should stay closed another day.” They’d been having this discussion for the past fifteen minutes, both of them unwilling to budge an inch on their position.
Georgia pointed her fork at Kieran. “I’ve lost the better part of two days and can’t afford another.”
By some unspoken agreement, they hadn’t discussed the intense, almost frantic lovemaking they’d indulged in earlier.
After a short nap, they’d risen, dressed, and regrouped in the kitchen.
Working side-by-side, they’d chopped onions and sweet peppers, grated cheese, and made omelets. They were fast, tasty, and filling.
He took a large mouthful of coffee and set his mug back on the table. “You can’t afford a medical setback.”
“I appreciate the concern, I really do.” It had been a long time since anyone had worried about her.
“But I feel fine. I’ll feel even better when I’m back at work.
” Lying around at home only gave her time to worry, and there was plenty to occupy her mind, including the fact that they’d had sex without a condom.
Given the timing, she should be safe, but the way her luck had been going, she wasn’t counting on it.
Until she knew for sure, she wouldn’t assume.
Don’t borrow trouble. There were enough real problems to handle.
“Did you have enough?” she asked, changing the subject. He’d eaten half a dozen slices of toast as well, but he was a big man.
“I had plenty.” He carried his dishes to the sink. “I need to head over to the apartment and take care of some things. You should make an early night of it.”
“Mmm.” She made the noncommittal sound and took another mouthful of coffee.
He paused beside her chair. “You sure you’ll be okay on your own?”
No! Her soul cried. She mustered a smile.
“I’ll be perfectly fine.” No way would she ask him to stay.
Like her, he was trying to resurrect some of the former distance between them.
It got more difficult every extra minute they spent together.
Or he might honestly have things to do, like call his brothers.
His frown would have sent grown men scurrying from his path.
She waved him toward the door. “I have a brand-new carbon monoxide detector and battery,” she reminded him.
“You bought it yourself at the hardware store.” And speaking of that.
“How much do I owe you for that and the materials you needed to fix the back door?” She had a new lockset, but she wasn’t sure what else he’d purchased.
His jaw hardened. “I’m not taking your money.”
“I’m supposed to be paying you for working at the bakery, remember? That was the deal. I haven’t given you a dime, but you’ve given me rent for the apartment.”
“That was a fraction of what it would have cost me to stay at a decent place.”
“You could have stayed at Ivy House. Probably for free, since you’re family. At the very least, you would have gotten a discount.” Why was she pushing this when it would be easier to let it go? Because she didn’t want to be beholden to him any more than he wanted to be beholden to her.
“That would have meant dealing with my brother.” He ran his hand over her hair. “The company here is better.” Before she could lean into his touch, he stepped away. “Call if you need me.”
“I don’t have your number.” It struck her again how little he shared about himself with her. It was time to take back her independence. While it had been nice to have someone else around for a few days, there was no point in getting used to it.
Swearing, he pulled the phone out of his pocket. “Alex gave me this prepaid phone. Mine’s back in Los Angeles.”
Yet another mystery without an answer. Kieran had turned up in Redemption with no baggage, no phone, for some unknown reason to do with his brothers. Yet he’d spent little time with Sam and Alex.
“What’s your number?” Once he had it, he texted her. “Use it if you need me. I mean it.”
Everything inside her softened. “I know you do. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
“I don’t want your gratitude,” he snapped. If his spine got any straighter, it might snap, too.
She stood and faced him head-on. “What do you want from me?”
“Nothing. I don’t want a damn thing.”
She bit the inside of her cheek and gave an abrupt nod.
It couldn’t be any clearer than that. The man had demons riding him, and she was done riding the rollercoaster of ups and downs.
She’d invited him into her life. It was time to send him on his way for good.
“Then I suggest you leave.” She went to her purse and pulled out the money he’d given her for rent.
“You can find other accommodations tomorrow.” She held the bill out to him.
“Georgia,” he began, but she raised her hand to cut him off.
“No. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t go from sleeping with you to you practically running out the door and treating me like I’m a stranger.
I’m only human. I have feelings, and I’m done having them jerked around.
I deserve better. Until you figure out what it is you want, you need to stay away.
” She tucked the money into the front pocket of his jeans. “Thank you again for saving my life.”
“It’s not you.”
The bitterness in her laugh surprised her. “Oh, please. I’ve heard that story before. It’s one of several excuses David used.”
A muscle flexed in Kieran’s jaw, and his eyes narrowed. He didn’t like that. Too damn bad. “You’re only in town a few days, and I’m convenient. I get it.”
“You’re not convenient, damn it. If anything, you’re totally inconvenient.
” He took her by the upper arms, jerked her forward, and kissed her as though his life depended on it.
She tried not to respond, tried to protect her already bruised heart, but she tasted his desperation and his yearning. Or maybe that was her.
Swearing, he pulled away. “I told myself I wasn’t going to do that again.”
“Then why did you?” she whispered.
“I couldn’t let you believe I don’t want you, that I don’t care. I do. Too much.”
A horrible thought occurred to her. “You’re not married or in a relationship, are you?”
“No. What kind of a man do you take me for?”
“A man with secrets that hurt his heart.” The truth of that widened the divide between them. “You need to work out whatever’s making you so miserable. You won’t be happy until you do.”
“Happiness isn’t in the cards for me.”
Despite her determination to protect herself, his pain and confusion touched her. “I don’t believe that.”
“How can you say that after all you’ve been through?” His eyes were blank, but the tension radiating from him told another story. Kieran was skilled at locking down his emotions.
“I prefer to look at the bright side. What’s the alternative? Life is too short to be miserable. I choose to look for the positives every day. It’s not always easy, but there’s always something to be grateful for.”
“You’re special, you know that?”
She shook off the compliment. “Not special enough, apparently.” Gathering the remainder of the dishes, she carried them to the kitchen and got to work loading the dishwasher, doing her best to ignore his presence. Her fortitude paid off when the door finally opened and closed.
Not putting it past him to pretend to leave, she braced herself and looked. Relief that he was gone warred with disappointment. The money she’d tucked into his pocket was on the table. “Stubborn ass,” she muttered. Leaving the money where it was, she flipped the lock on the back door.
There were no lights on in the garage apartment. A sense of loneliness swept over her. It wasn’t anything new, but for some reason, this time, it hit her harder. Being with Kieran had shown her what it could be like between two people.
“Only if they’re both on the same page.” And they weren’t.
A tension headache brewing, she rubbed her temples.
“I won’t have regrets.” Kieran was an exceptional lover.
Whatever his issues, there was no faking the passion he’d shown earlier.
To be wanted that desperately helped soothe the jagged edges of rejection.
She squared her shoulders. “I deserve to be loved.” It was a mantra she’d used to bolster her self-esteem after she and David parted ways. And it was the truth. It didn’t matter that she was an ordinary woman in an ordinary town doing an ordinary job. That didn’t make her any less deserving.
It was time to do what she always did when she needed to think.
Leaving the light on over the stove in the kitchen, she grabbed her purse and headed for the front door, pausing only to grab a sweater.
She wasn’t exactly sneaking out of the house.
But if Kieran saw her, he’d either try to talk her out of going or insist on accompanying her, and neither was acceptable.
She needed time alone to work through her thoughts.
The store was an oasis waiting to offer comfort. She breathed a sigh of relief the second she walked through the door. It was going to be a long night and an even longer day tomorrow, but it was necessary. She planned to wow her customers, tempting them with all sorts of goodies.
Making sure the door was secured, she stored her belongings, pulled on an apron, and got to work.
…
Kieran leaned back in the chair by the window and watched the house.
He should have gone to bed hours ago. But even as exhausted as he was, there was no way he’d sleep.
The light was still on over the kitchen stove, but the rest of the house was dark.
What was she doing? Was she lying in bed thinking about what they’d done there earlier?
More likely, she was cursing him for the things he’d said before he’d left and wishing she’d never invited him into her life or her bed.