Chapter Sixteen
Quinn - Present Day
My head is on a swivel, taking in everything I can before I enter the gates.
The road in front of us looks like the builders’ gravel that people use for the roads when they can’t be bothered to put any more money into the project.
The kind that gets your shoes and clothes dusty but brushing it off makes it worse.
The crunch of the gravel under the tyres is a noise I would usually find soothing.
Yet, in this moment, it’s haunting. The trepidation it builds within me is screaming at me to run.
Trees line the sides. Weeping willows are what most would call them, and because of the time of year, they’re at their most picturesque.
The cascading branches are filled with fresh, vibrant green leaves.
The evening has them dancing in the wind.
The stumps aren’t quite dark brown, more greyish—my need to focus on details in times of stress, many would say, is a sign of neurodivergence; my mother would say, it’s just confirmation that I’m a broken individual.
The road appears to go on forever, the setting sun flitting in between the gaps of the willows, the glisten of the dew sparkling in the setting sun, and before I know it, the ball of light disappears, leaving behind nothing but the light from the moon and the shadows of the night.
“Dad, where are we? This isn’t a normal hospital.
The woman on the speaker said that it was a mental hospital.
I don’t need a mental hospital. Dad, please.
Don’t leave me here. I promise, I’ll try harder to be good.
I’ll be the girl you always wanted—” My words are cut off by the sight of a property in the foreground.
“Quinn—” My dad starts.
“No,” my mother interrupts. “I’ve had enough.
The doctors here are top of their field.
It’s costing us a lot of money to get you an appointment here, Quinn.
Your dad has worked countless hours to provide you with the best care, and that’s what we are going to do.
” As always, my mother has to have the last word.
The building in front of us gets bigger the closer we get to it.
It’s pristine. A two-storey red brick property, with the details painted a contrasting clinical white, and warm, bright lights littering every part of it.
A big matching red door, with two people in white uniforms standing outside and windows covering the majority of the front.
They’re large panes, split into four quarters with white shutters on the outsides, and a balcony accompanies the first floor, adjoining the windows on the left to the windows on the right.
It’s welcoming.
There are big stone pillars in front of the red door, also painted white. The only way to describe the property is almost regal, a place that people would visit to tick off their National Trust passports. Definitely not what I would think of when I think of a doctor’s office.
Directly in front of the building is a water feature that seems to be a stand-in for a roundabout. As my dad turns the car so that we are level with the doors, the two staff members descend the steps. One is male, one is female.
My mother opens her door and proceeds to exit the vehicle.
Eric releases a sigh, but it sounds different.
Like he’s breathing a sigh of relief, while I’m still sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.
My dad is stoic, but turns the ignition off and follows my mum to the boot of the car, nonetheless.
I hear the lock on the boot releasing, and the confusion hits. Why are they in the boot?
I open the door to be greeted by the male nurse. “Hello, Miss Burrows, welcome to Saving Hearts. We’re looking forward to helping you during your stay.”
“My what?”
“Your stay with us. By the end of your stay, we hope to have eradicated your issues and turned you into a functioning member of society.”
“Mum?”
“What now, Quinn?” My dad hauls a large suitcase out of the car, and he wheels it over to the female staff member.
“What are they talking about? You said this was an initial appointment!”
“Hi, Quinn, my name is Darla. I’m here to answer any questions you may have and help your transition into the facility be as smooth as possible.”
“My transition? I don’t understand!”
“Your parents have kindly raised the funds so you can receive in-patient treatment for your issues.”
“They can’t do that. Surely you need some kind of permission from me? A signature? I’m an adult.”
“Quinn! Don’t talk to the lady like that!”
“Well, usually, yes. But I am assured that they have medical power of attorney and have signed paperwork to that effect—”
Fuck, I forgot about that.
“You can fuck right off if you think I’m staying here!”
“I have the authority to restrain you if I see fit, Quinn, but I would rather we didn’t do that. I would prefer to keep this process civil,” Darla warns.
“Civil? What exactly is civil about your parents committing fraud to have you put into a mental hospital?”
“Fraud?” The male staff member pipes up. “Quinn, my name is Richard. I’m a senior member of the care staff. I can assure you that there is no fraud happening here. We’ve seen the paperwork.”
You can fuck right off, as well, you hoity-toity motherfucker.
I spin round to face my parents. Eric is now out of the car, a sadistic little smirk on his face like he has some insider knowledge. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the entire reason this is happening.
“What is going on? You’ve tricked me into coming here. The least I deserve is an explanation.”
My dad stands there looking at the ground. Like he’s incapable of speech. My mother, on the other hand, just laughs.
“You don’t deserve anything from us that you haven’t already had, Quinn. I would suggest you take this time to get better and learn why you do the things you do. Get to know yourself. Fix your issues. But, whatever you do, don’t ever come home. We’re done, Quinn.”
Dad’s head shoots up, a look of pain flickering across his face. “That wasn’t the deal, Andy. You said this was temporary. That it was in her best interests for her to get better and that we would be doing our job as parents by enforcing power of attorney.”
“Kirk… Enough.”
I know we’ve had this conversation before, but the need to make sure my memory is accurate is high. “When exactly did you get power of attorney? We’ve never been to court. I’ve never signed or been notified of anything that could possibly explain this.”
“Well, that’s because you were unconscious. It happened after you tried to kill yourself and ended up in hospital.”
“You mean after I was hit by a car through no fault of my own, you took advantage and had a judge sign away the rights to ever make a decision about myself again?”
“That’s a very bold assumption to make, Quinn.”
“But true.” She steps towards me, forgetting herself for a second and the fact that members of the public can see how she’s acting.
“If we could just calm things down a little bit and talk at a lower volume, maybe we can sort this out,” Darla interrupts.
“The only way to sort this out is for them to rip up the power of attorney forms and sign a release for me to leave here right the fuck now.”
Eric is now standing next to my mother, pretending to console her throughout her emotional breakdown courtesy of her mentally unstable daughter.
“Unfortunately, that isn’t how things work.
It’s a court process that would involve you needing to showcase evidence that they have either caused or intend to cause you harm, proof of fraud, lack of mental capacity on either your mother’s or father’s part, or a conflict of interest. Do you have any of those? ”
“If only you knew the things that those two were capable of.”
“But do you have proof, Quinn?”
“No.”
“Then there’s nothing we can do but enforce the agreement made between Saving Hearts and your parents.
Please. This can either be painless, or it can be painful, and I really would rather it wasn’t the latter.
” Richard walks over to Darla, retrieving my belongings, wheeling them to the steps of the house.
“How long do I have to be here?”
“It’s indefinite. Until we deem you safe to return to society,” Darla informs me.
“I’ve never been a danger to society.”
“No, but you’re a danger to yourself, and unpredictable behaviour means you have more of a chance of escalation. We have to do our duty to society and keep them safe.”
“You’re all fucking delusional.” Darla goes to reach for my hand, but I take my chance and run to my dad.
“Daddy, please. Please. Don’t make me do this.
” Sobs rack my body as I cling onto him for dear life.
“I don’t know what I did, but I’ll do better.
Please, just give me another chance.” He pushes the hair from my face, wiping the tears from my cheeks, before removing my grip from him and pulling me into a hug.
“I really wish I could, Pumpkin. I really wish there was something I could do to stop this, but there are things you don’t know about, things that I’ve had to do to ensure you’re safe.
This is the only way I can continue to keep you safe,” he whispers in my ear so low that only I can hear him, and even then, I’m doubtful that I’ve heard anything.
He passes my hand to Darla. “Get in the car, you two. We’re leaving.”
My mother turns to look at me. “This is the last time you will see your family. The level of grief you have brought upon us has caused us no end of harm, and as the matriarch of this family, I must look after us as a whole. The only way to do that is to rid ourselves of the problem—you. I hope you take from this experience what you can get, Quinn. Better yourself. Get well. But whatever you do, do not ever contact any of us again. Your father may be the weak link out of the three of us, but with Eric and me by his side, it’s no use trying. ”
She turns to Eric. “Come on, son, it’s time for us to be a real family.”
They walk towards their respective car doors, and my father starts the engine. As he goes to pull away, I break free from Darla and run. Where to, I have no idea, but I at least have to try. But before I can make a dent in distance, I drop to the floor, and my vision goes black.