Chapter 40
Dig and I clung to the side streets, running away from the mess of Slash and his followers and ducked into an old bookstore. The empty shelves gave us a temporary hideout while we caught our breath.
Before I found a spot to collapse, a pain shot up into my chest and I groaned, planting my hand on the wall.
“You okay?” Dig asked. “Princess, did you get hurt?”
He towered over me with those wingspan wide shoulders, those strong arms. He had to tilt his head down to be able to view me properly, his black hair was windswept from his run. His whole face was naked.
I looked up at him.
He looked down at me.
It took him half a second to realise I was staring up at his eyes, entombed in them. An echo of some discomfort hitched him to turn away, redirecting his gaze.
“You forgot these.” I opened his sunglasses and lifted them to his face.
Relief discarded his discomfort, and he accepted the sunglasses. “Thanks.”
When he put them back on, concealing those eyes, he changed. It was like a switch. Dig Graves turned back into Dig Graves. His chin pointed higher, his shoulders arched back, that cocky grin found his lips.
I smiled at that grin. “You know my family? The De Astors?”
“Rich asshole heroes?”
“Hardly.” I scoffed. “My family helped build the foundation of the Execution Battle. It’s my family who were responsible for the gruesome deaths of thousands and thousands of people.”
He realised what I was doing, what I was trying to do. “Your family killed Soulless. Not innocents.”
“Are you saying you’ve never met a Soulless who wasn’t an innocent person caught up in the system?”
Dig pressed his lips together. He couldn’t argue it. “Delphine,” he spoke my name as if he were trying to treasure it. “I’m not a good guy. I’m really… I’ve killed people.”
I looked over the blood on his arms and shirt. “You have?”
“Yeah, a bit. I’m a monster.”
“You're not a monster.”
“I am.”
Oceans of turmoil crashed inside of him. His large shoulders wilted. Lines creased on his forehead. I finally saw him as just a man. A man with a graveyard past. A man who had fought for his survival for seven years. A man who I think…just wanted to be loved.
He had suffered through endless storms, and now, he had become one.
I did not understand such heavy sadness, loss and hurt. To me, I brushed it off like lint on my shoulder. But on Dig, it had collected on him, year after year, until he wore his pain like heavy weights, dragging him down.
I wished that I could carry some of it for him.
I just did not know how.
“Um…” I rested my hand on his arm. “There, there. It will all be okay.”
Oh, how horrible I must sound. How ignorant. How strange. How unfeeling. It was I who was the monster, the one who could not feel, who could not comfort those in need.
I had a sudden urge to bury myself into him.
And so, I did.
I opened my arms, and I hugged him.
We fused together, like two metals. Him and I.
Our arms wrapped around each other, and I held onto Dig Graves, offering him an embrace I had never enjoyed giving another before.
A hug. Such a simple act. Yet, there was something so pretty about a hug.
When our fronts pressed together, it was like our hearts were filling the empty space on the other side of our chests.
I didn’t feel so hollow now.
All I felt was him, his warmth, his arms that held me back.
This was nice.
This was perfect.
Was this what I needed? For someone to hold me, and for me not to pull away?
I leaned my head back and slowly lifted the red heart shaped sunglasses from his face and stared into Dig Graves’ eyes. I think this is what he needed.
For someone to look at him, and for them not to look away.
Cuddled into each other's arms and sharing our naked sights, I dwelled there with him. Two Soulless souls, one a serial killer, the other a girl who could not feel.
We had not been made for other people…but we had been made for each other, for just this moment, and maybe that was enough.
“Dig,” I said softly, lowering his sunglasses back onto his nose.
“This entire time, I have been lying to myself. I’ve always thought of myself as a good person, but I’m not, Dig.
I’m not a good person either. At the grocery store, sometimes, I don’t put the shopping cart back in the shopping cart bay. ”
He dropped his head into my neck. “Thank you, Princess.”
“Also, I accidently hit someone with my car once and they died.”
“Um…”
“Does this feel nice?” I asked into his ear. “The hug? Am I doing it right?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, Princess. It feels nice for me. Does it feel nice for you?”
My heart swelled with heat. “Yeah…”
“I'll let go when you let go.”
“I don't feel much like letting go.” The words skipped over in my head. Feel. I felt something. My heart blooming, my skin warm from his.
The code of my life had been to find love.
Dig Graves was my glitch.
“Dig,” I said. “I can’t love you. I don’t know what the feeling is at all.”
His fingers teased through my hair. He rid of his sadness to devote time to tend to my own. “I don’t need your love, Delphine. Just you. Whatever you can give me. I grew up in the gutter, I'm used to scraps. To me, scraps are a fucking five-star buffet.”
I think…he deserved more than just scraps.
I squeezed him tight one last time before opening my arms, releasing him.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go save Tommy the Tank Engine.”
“You don’t have to Dig. You can just go back to your apartment and wait out the Battle.”
“Get that idea out of your beautiful, stupid head. I’m a monster, but I’m your monster.”
“But Dig, you don’t have to do that for me. I don’t think I’d do anything like that for you.” The words made guilt fill up in my chest. But they were true, I wanted to be honest.
If I couldn't be what he needed, at least I could be honest.
“You don't have to do anything for me,” he said deeply. “You just focus on staying alive. That’s all I want from you.”
My heart rose up in my throat.
“I’m going to get Tomster for you,” he said, brow furrowing on the arches on his heart-shaped glasses. “I’d pull the Tom-cat out of hell if I had to.”
“He’s not in hell, just somewhere in the city.”
“I’d burn people alive for you, record their screams and make it my ringtone.
For you Delphine, I’d do anything.” He got on his knees in front of me, his sunglasses catching vines of sunlight.
His black hair licked over his forehead as he looked up at me.
“You are the wreath of flowers around the rot in my soul, and from the decay in my heart I offer you the type of devotion Gods covet from a disbeliever. I want to create statues of you and elevate them into the ocean of stars, showing the world their new Goddess, and whoever does not bow down to you, they will suffer under the torture of my hand.”
“Maybe tomorrow.”
In the suburbs each home was identical in various pastel shades with lawn ornaments and welcome mats. A severed head sat proud on a mailbox and a bloody sock blanketed over a window box of tulips.
We found Fiona and Tommy in a little pink split-level home. Dig recognised one of the traps that had been set at the front door that was similar to Fred’s, and we snaked our way inside carefully.
A sweet home, with beige carpet, matching floral couches, an L-shaped kitchen with farmhouse style cupboards. The dining table was crafted from oak and on top of it, Fiona bent over while Tommy thrust into her from behind.
I waved. “Hello!”
Tommy screeched.
Fiona jolted and pulled up her pants.
Dig fixed a picture frame on the wall that had turned at an angle.
“Tommy!” I searched his arm before he was able to pack himself away. “You’re alive!”
“Get off me!” He pushed me aside, potent fear on his face.
Dig growled and pulled out a knife. “You touch my girl, I touch you.”
“She touched me!”
“And that’s a fucking privilege.”
Fiona and I smiled at each other, only briefly, our friendship was not strong enough to endure more than a one-second smile.
“I can’t believe you’re safe,” I said to Fiona.
“I can’t believe you’re safe,” Fiona said back. “I’m a trained hunter, you’re an idiot.”
“Are you okay?” I asked Tommy. “I heard you got injured. I’ve come to take you to the hospital.”
“I’m fine.” He rubbed the bandage on his arm. “It was just a graze.”
“Good.” I nodded quickly. “Then I’ll take you back to Dig’s apartment. We have food and water and safe shelter there. You’ll be safe Tommy. I’m going to get you out of here.”
“Uh, we got food and water here.” Fiona stuck her thumb to the kitchen. “And I’ve already rigged this place with some decent traps. Tomorrow’s the last day of the Battle, it would be safest if we stayed here for the night.”
I pursed my lips. “Huh, okay.”
Dig sighed and looked to me. “You’re telling me this whole time these guys were safe, and we could have stayed at my apartment and had shower sex?”
Dig and I took the spare room.
Furnished with a queen-sized bed in cotton sheets and bedside tables with matching flower lamps.
I pulled back the paisley printed curtains to let in the last drops of sunlight.
Since Dig had made me dinner, I thought I’d surprise him with my own cooking skills.
Tommy and Fiona continued with their escapades in the main bedroom, and I got to work in the kitchen.
I dumped the contents of cans and fresh picked herbs into a bowl and stirred it around with a smile, presenting it neatly on a plate and brought it to Dig.
He sat on the edge of the mattress in the bedroom. Smooth muscle cut into his flesh along with a tapestry of tattoos and scars, marking him into a warrior. He finished padding a stab wound with rubbing alcohol.
“I made you dinner.” I presented him my gift. “You cooked for me, now it’s my turn.”
He looked down at the plate and back up to me. He looked down and back up a second time. “You made this?”
“Yes.”
“For me?”
“Yes.”
“To… eat?”
“Yes, to eat.”
“You want me to eat this?”
“Yes.”
He looked down at the plate again and back up to me. “Yeah, alright.”
I offered him the spoon.
He accepted it and scooped up a piece and smashed it into his mouth chewing and swallowing so quick I did not think he had a moment to taste it.
“It’s delicious!” he shouted. “You’re such a good cook Princess.”
“Really?” I beamed. “I’ve never even cooked before.”
“And now you’re the best cook.”
“This is true.”
“I’m going to save the rest for later.”
“But—”
“We need to have hot showers before the solar cuts out.”
“Yes!” I flung the plate out into the hall and jumped onto him, digging my nails into the flesh of his shoulders.
“Woah, what the fuck?”
I licked his cheek. “We’ll shower together.”