Chapter 17
chapter seventeen
Denali
"For the last time, Kai, I've got to go home," I say with a huff, hands on my hips while I watch him putter around his living room, pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair. "I've already been here two days. My plants at home are likely dying."
"It's just not worth it," he mutters, throwing me a wary glance over his shoulder. "You're too far away. What if I need you again? What if—what if something happens? And when I do call, it takes you so long to get here; you live so far away—"
I wave my hands in his direction and roll my eyes. This is stupid. "I did my on-call job just fine without being right here, up your ass twenty-four-seven, before now. I'm sure I can do it again just the same."
"But it would just be easier if you were closer," he mutters, turning away to look out the far wall of windows. "Can't you move closer?"
The snort that leaves my nose is inelegant and loud.
"With what money, Kai? I'm not rich. And in case you didn't know this, the neighborhood you're living in?
It's three times what I pay in full rent and utilities, just for this studio penthouse whatever the fuck.
Every building around here has a doorman and a security system and no pets allowed.
And no offense, but I'd rather have to make the trip across town every night than give up my cat. "
"It's inconvenient," he mumbles under his breath, tapping his toe anxiously on the floor. "I don't pay you to inconvenience us."
"Do you have another solution?" I ask him, because it's doubtful he does, but if Kai offers to put me up in a nice apartment in this neighborhood by raising my wage, I won't complain.
"You can stay here, for now."
I don't believe my ears. Surely he didn't just—
"I have a spare room. It's on the other side of the house, so you'll have your privacy."
He turns around and looks at me like he's a kid who's just asked for the biggest item on their wish list in the hopes they'll get it. "Kai," I whisper quietly, not sure what to think of this new proposition. "I–I can't."
"Why not?" He's staring point-blank at me, likely waiting with more of an argument against my refusal.
"You still have your apartment. You can come and go as you please, and it saves Roger time in the morning, if you stay here overnight when we have a busy schedule, like now.
Saves me time, too. I won't have to get up as early to wait in line for coffee, if you can run the expensive barista machine on my counter.
Last time I touched it, I had to call a repairman to fix it. "
Unfortunately for me, and fortunately for him, I do have experience with fancy coffee machines. "I might know a thing or two about them."
"Saves you time, then, too. See? There's really no reason to say no."
Roger does spend a lot of spare time running me between places.
And being nearer to Kai would make my job easier.
It practically eliminates our hour long wait in line at the local coffee shop for his fucking premium espresso in the mornings, if I make it here.
Plus, this is a nice apartment. With all the time I spend going back and forth between his place and mine, and with the events of recent days still fresh in all of our minds, things have been a bit tense. For good reason, obviously, but still—
"I need you here for early mornings, Denali. It's too much to expect you to drive over at dawn and start my day for me when you live so far away."
I want so badly to say yes. I do. But I don't trust myself living in such close quarters with a man who does things to my insides like he does. Who has me doing things I shouldn't be doing.
Like how every time we're in a room together, I always look for Kai. And find him looking at me. How every time he comes home and takes his shirt off like he's here alone, I have to physically restrain myself from drooling down the front of my chest.
Kai's hot, there's no helping that. But until recently, I was able to ignore it, I think. At least, I never noticed it before now. But now . . .
I should say no. I should tell him it's not happening, that he's a big boy with a security team and I'm only a phone call away.
"I have a cat, Kai. I can't just abandon him—"
"Bring him with you."
"Bring my cat. You're kidding me. You're not even a cat person.
" I turn my back on him, rifling through my purse to buy me some time.
"Kai, it's not—I just can't." I need my independence.
I need to be able to do my own thing, in my own space, without judgement.
And I can't do that here, no matter how much privacy my own room affords me. "I'm sorry."
"But I need you," he growls, pouting in a rare moment of petulance, and I'm reminded why he seems to always get what he wants. When you sound and look like he does, nobody argues when you ask for things, or demand them. "And I pay you to be on-call. This would just be another perk, really."
I'm not someone he can push around, though. I'm me. And I'm putting my foot down, because accepting his offer is dangerous. For both of us.
"Kai," I growl in warning, already feeling myself cave. I still have to try, though. "It's not a good idea."
"It's not like you have someone waiting for you at home," he tosses out flippantly, and like, okay, fair, he's got me there, but how dare he insinuate—
"I have Taco," I start, offended that he doesn't consider my baby worthy of my time.
"He's a cat," Kai points out, like I'm not well aware of that fact. "You don't have a boyfriend, or kids, though."
"How do you know I don't have a boyfriend?" I cross my arms, staring him down with intent.
His eyes say so much without a single word, and then he smirks, like he's got me right where he wants me.
"I'd know if you had a boyfriend. And that line there?
That's standard operating procedure for defensiveness when you don't have what the other person is accusing you of not having.
I've been in the industry long enough to spot a lie.
" He cocks his head, smirking even more, if that's even possible. "And that, kara, was a lie."
He's got my balls in a vicegrip, so to speak.
I'm dangling over the fire, and the only way I can refuse might result in me losing my job to someone willing to make the sacrifices.
There's only one choice, though how much of that choice is because of his insistence, how much of it is because I'm too weak for him now, and how much of it is because I want to spend more time with him, outside of work, is up for debate.
And definitely not a professional line of thought.
But I've got to put my foot down eventually, or he'll just run over me forever. I clear my throat, intending to double down on the no.
"Fine, I'll stay tonight, and I'll start coming over early every morning instead of waiting to be picked up, since I have my own car."
"You'd have to be here at five in the morning to do what I want you to do for me before we set out every day," he warns, his eyes hard, flashing with danger. "That's awful early, on nights when we're busy until late."
"I've got my own car," I say simply, "and traffic isn't that bad in the mornings. You'll have to get me a permit to enter the complex parking lot, though, and I'm going home tomorrow and every night afterward, Kai."
That sure was putting my foot down.
"Perfect," he says smugly, like he knew he'd get his way eventually. I hate that about him. But at the same time, I envy his confidence, his assurance that he's going to be able to make miracles happen one way or another. "See? Was that so hard to agree to?"
"Shut up, Kai," I mutter, shoving past him to head for the car. "Now come on, before you make us late."
He's smug as fuck all the way to the car.
We're not late, like I fear we might be. No, we're right on time, actually. Right on time for what turns out to be a spectacularly fucked up day.
We spend the first four hours of our day being led around by the nose in the studio. Well, Kai gets led around, I just sit along the far wall and try to get some work done. It lasts for about two hours before the strange phone calls start up again.
Nobody talks on the other end, and they come through at least once a day.
Nothing but heavy breathing, a silence that stretches eerily between the caller and myself, and then a hang-up with no words.
It's unnerving, but since nothing else is happening, I just try my best to ignore them.
Except it's hard to ignore them when they come through on my lunch break.
And it's even harder to ignore them when they come through at four in the morning, before even my alarm has deigned to go off.
There were some flowers at the front desk for me yesterday when we showed up to the office. They weren't the only bouquet there, though, and this time, there was no card, so I just brushed it off. I don't have time to worry about who might or might not be sending me flowers.
The gala is a week away. Kai still hasn't included his RSVP plus one's name in any of our correspondence for me to submit.
We're booked back to back with practices and appearances and whatnot.
And to top it all off, now I've been asked to spend the night several nights a week at his apartment, for convenience's sake.
"Hey, you two, I'll be right back," I call out to Kai as he and Burke work on their new performance routine on the far side of the room.
Kai waves me off without looking in my direction, so I consider myself dismissed and head out to the car, where Roger is sleeping peacefully, taking his much-anticipated obligatory mid-morning nap while Anton smokes a cigarette off to the side of the building.
I get a little head nod from him as I approach the car, leaning in through Roger's open window to flip the trunk latch.
My phone starts to ring as I reach in to pull out my bag with the sweater I pack just for the dance studio on colder days, and without thinking, I pick it up and answer with an absent-minded, noncommittal hello.
"Hey there, Dee."
My blood runs cold. I know that voice. And I want nothing to do with it.
"Theo," I whisper, trying to keep the tremble from my tone, desperately hoping my tone doesn't come off as a scared little rabbit. "I told you never to call me again."
"Yeah, well, we all know you say one thing and mean another, Denali." His dry laughter sounds like he's already a pack of smokes in before noon. It's rough, heavy, and raw. And menacing. "I told you I'd never be far from you, bitch."
A cold sweat breaks out on my brow, and the shiver that snakes down my spine is chased by a very real fear. "What—"
"Look across the street, Dee," he purrs, and I can still see the way his lips curl up in that deadly and threatening smile when he's toying with someone. "Smile for me."
I don't move. I'm rooted to the spot. Somehow, though, I get the strength to peer up over the side of the trunk, and it's then that I spot him.
Maroon sweater, tan pants, those stupid black loafers that he loves so damn much. He has his phone to one ear, sunglasses drawn over his eyes, and a smile covering his face—all typical attire of people in this metropolis at this time of year.
He raises his hand and waves at me, a move that makes me feel like a rabbit being cornered by a fox whose only goal is to eat it for dinner.
"Wave back, Denali. It's impolite to ignore me."
The blood left in my veins has turned to ice. There's no way that's him, but there he is. Standing there. Watching me. Following me.
My hands are shaking. He's not been this close since I threatened to take out a restraining order on him.
He hasn't ever dared to find me and lurk.
I flip open google, searching for his scheduled programs, hoping I'm wrong.
The articles pop up almost immediately—America's Sweetheart Theo filming off the coast for a new action flick!
Week two of filming kicks off for the American Heartthrob!
He's supposed to be in the middle of the ocean.
There's no way that's him. But if it isn't—how could he know?
There's no way, and yet, there has to be, because I'd bet every last dollar in my bank account that the man across the road is him.
A city bus slides up to the curb, blocking my view, and just like that, the spell is broken.
I forget all about my sweater and slam the trunk shut, scurrying to the sidewalk in the hopes that I can get back inside before he comes across that street and causes problems. I don't want problems—I've got enough, thanks.
Kai's image is tied to me. If something with Theo happens while he's inside, fifty feet away—
The bus moves away, and Theo's gone. Just like that. No sign of where he went, no indication that he was ever there. But the call is still ongoing on my end of the phone, so I lift the receiver to my ear and hear his last parting words.
"I'll never be far, Dee. Just you remember that. You belong to me. And I always get what I want."
I don't even register the cold when I manage to slink back into the building, hopefully without looking like I've seen a ghost. I sit back against the wall, but my thoughts are racing.
I can't work like this.
I only notice I'm shivering when Burke comes over and throws a sweater around my shoulders, giving me a playful wink and sticking around for a little small talk.
But I can't process what he's saying. I'm two hundred miles away, where Theo's supposed to be today, drowning in an ocean of my own fears.
When Kai comes up to me to tell me it's quitting time, and that we're off to our next engagement, I'm back to stable, at least. I paste on a brave smile and pretend everything is okay, because it has to be.
The rest of the day passes in a blur, mostly because my mind is not on my work, for the first time in a while. I have to snap out of it.
I've dealt with Theo for long enough on my own. If this is him, and he is back to actively crossing lines himself, I'll handle it.
I say it in my head, over and over, in the hopes that that'll make it true.
Because I'm not so sure I've got this anymore.