Chapter 29 #2
When he pulls back, he looks not angry, but stern, like he's about to deliver one of his famous lectures that I'm so un-fond of. "Don't do that."
"Do what?" I wasn't aware I did anything, really, aside from sit here and let him kiss me.
"Talk about yourself like you're nothing." His hand rises, and he tucks a stray lock of my hair behind my ear. It tickles, the sensation not unwelcome. Such an intimate move. "As far as I'm concerned, you're far better looking, inside and out, than any of those other girls out there."
I blush deeper. Any more compliments and I'll turn into a human tomato. "You're blind, then."
"No," he says with a smile, "just in love . . . with my assistant."
And there it is. The whole reason I'm out here instead of in his bed still. "Kai, we—we have to talk about that. About this." I gesture between our chests, and watch as his stern look shifts into worry. "About us."
"Denali—"
"No," I say firmly, proud of myself for standing my ground. "Kai, I'm—you're my boss—"
"Technically, I'm not," he says with that smirk of his, the know-it-all one that drives me crazy. "You told me so yourself, remember? Arista is your boss." He looks around the room, that grin widening. "And I don't recall her being present in that bed with us."
"Kai."
Men will argue with a wall if they think it might get them what they want. Kai is still a man, albeit a pretty, caring, and protective one.
"What? It's the truth." The teasing fades, and suddenly he's pulling me into his arms, carrying me with my legs still wrapped around his waist all the way to the couch.
When he sets us down, I try to detangle, but he's not giving me the chance.
He leans back in his seat, keeping me firmly planted on his lap with those hands still gentle but firm on my waist.
I open my mouth to speak, but he shuts it with a glare. "No, Denali. Before you tell me all the reasons why this isn't a good idea, can I tell you the reasons why it is? And why I don't care?"
The Herculean strength it takes once again not to roll my eyes should win an award. "Go ahead." My arms, traitors they are, fall onto his shoulders, hands and fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his neck. "I'm listening."
"For starters, we're both attracted to each other." He feathers my collarbone with kisses, and like, okay, I can't argue that one. "I want you, and you want me."
"Bold assumption, but correct," I confirm, tipping my head back as his tongue trails over my chest, leaving little licks in its wake. "What else you got?"
"I'm in love with you," he says simply, like it needs no more explanation. "And I hope one day soon, you'll fall in love with me, too."
I don't have the courage to tell him I already am.
"And then there's the matter of my life has been better in so many ways since you walked into it."
"But I work for you," I say pointedly, though it no longer sounds like a solid argument. More like a flimsy excuse. "I'm your employee."
"I would hardly be the first boss in history to fall for his lovely assistant."
And there it is. The rub. The whole reason for my hesitance. Well, that and the celebrity status and the sheer impossibility of this working out for us.
"It's not who you are," I point out, reminding him of the him I met when we first were thrust into that conference room together, all those months ago. "It's not who I am, either."
It's not who I want to be. But apparently, it is who I am.
"It can be," he points out, "because I don't care how much I have to fight against, I want you in my life, Denali Stone, and I'm not willing to give you up just because my company signs your paycheck."
His face finds the crook of my neck, and I whine in the back of my throat when instead of ravishing me, he simply holds me, content to inhale my scent and let me sort through my feelings.
"Kai," I say finally, knowing damn well I'll live to regret this decision, "let's say I indulge this little delusion. I say okay. What happens next?"
"Well," he thinks for a moment, his brows furrowed in concentration, really taking time to process it all. "I suppose we tell the company?"
"You don't sound too confident there, Kai." I need certainty. I need to know that if I do this, the fallout won't end me or my chances at a good life. Stability is a necessity.
"We tell Arista. She was working for Jun when they got back together, and when they got together in the first place." He grins, like he knows a secret. "Did you know that your boss is the OG 'banging the man whose company signs my paycheck' girl?"
"Not good enough; blackmail is not a safeguard anymore."
"Dammit, Denali, all I know for sure is I love you, and I don't want to lose you. But I can't go back to what we were. I wasn't holding it together too well to begin with, once I realized I was in love with you. And I'm tired of pretending."
His arms band around me tighter, and it's like he's trying to impart all of the love he's talking about through that touch. It's humbling, this outpouring from him, so rare and unexpected that I'd be a fool to turn it away.
"I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. You'll move in with me, of course, because I'm not letting you go back to that place knowing he can get in there—"
"Kai, I need my own apartment—"
"Then I'll rent you one, here in the building, so that you'll have your own place, but you'll never be far."
I know damn well he's not that rich. I mean, these places are ridiculously pricey. "I can't let you keep me like some secret mistress."
"So I'll take you out on dates. I'll make sure to tell the tabloids all about you, and let us be photographed together all the time.
I'll post you on my social media. Men don't do that with their mistresses, and then it won't be a secret.
" He's thinking on his feet; I can see the gears turning in anticipation of the next question. "What else you got?"
"I—" I've actually got nothing. Well, aside from— "what happens if I get fired?"
"You won't." He's adamant, confident. I wish I could be that way about my paycheck.
"But if I am." It's possible, even if it's unlikely.
"Then I'll take care of you," he says with a shrug. "You're my girl, so if I cost you your job, it'll be my responsibility to take care of you."
"I'm not the kind of girl who enjoys being a kept woman, Kai." And I think he knows that. But it bears repeating.
"Then I'll hire you personally. I'll sign your checks, I'll write up a contract if you have to have one.
Fuck, I'll even give you your own office, Denali.
Just say you'll stay with me, yeah? Tell me you're as all in on this as I am, because I don't know if I'll survive it if you tell me you're not. "
"What about Theo?" I ask quietly, wondering if he's thought about that side of things.
"What about him?" Apparently, Kai couldn't give a fuck less about the man who ransacked my apartment and keeps leaving threats everywhere for me.
"Fuck him. I'll protect you, keep you safe.
I've got security, I've got a defense system in the house, and we've got lawyers out the ass with the company—Denali, no matter what you try, I'll have an argument for it, okay?
A good one, too. Just—I'm not asking you for a confession or anything, okay?
I'm just asking for you to let me love you. "
I can't say no to him any more than I can say no to breathing. "Okay."
"Listen, I'm prepared to sit here all night and talk until I'm blue in the face to convince you to—what?"
Watching him come up short and stop on a dime is hilarious.
"I said, okay." My hips shift against his lap, and he groans as my grin spreads.
His was contagious, I suppose. "Take me back to bed.
If you're determined to keep me here with you, then I suppose I can spend a little more time in your bed.
We don't have to be anywhere any time soon.
" It's our day off. His, as well as mine.
"Fuck, okay, yeah, yeah let's do that—" And then he's up, and I'm being carted off once more, this time in the direction of his bed.
I'm not sure how long we spend in there just getting to know each other intimately, our hands searching, eyes meeting over panting gasps and slow smiles, but it's long enough for the sun to rise and plant itself in the center of the sky, and for me to fall even deeper into delululand, letting him assemble a new reality out of my fantasy with real life building blocks.
And for once in a long while, I sleep the sleep of the dead, when we finally do pass out, because in his arms, I feel safe. Wanted. Loved.
Home.
It feels like home.