Chapter 32
chapter thirty-two
Kai
We spent all night fucking at the cabin.
Took turns doing things we'd never done, indulging fantasies and playing games and jus enjoying the company of one another outside of the house until we were both too tired to stand.
I took her again in the kitchen while she made us breakfast this morning, rutting up into her so fast and hard it was a miracle she managed to actually cook while I lost my mind inside her.
And she blew me again in the backseat of the car on the way to the award show.
She's sitting out in the front row with Anton at her side, and I know she's safe, but since I can't be with her during the show, I'm antsy and nervous. I don't want to be away from her just yet. It's like separation anxiety to the max.
Before we left Nocturna Beach, I checked on that asshole's schedule, found out through a friend that he's supposed to be back there all weekend.
He's got two interviews on his schedule.
But there's no telling what he's got planned.
And until I'm sure what to expect, until I'm safely at Denali's side, I'm not able to relax.
My former bandmates can tell, too.
We sit side by side by side in a row, the five of us, getting our hair and makeup done like the good ole days.
"Are you sure you'll remember the moves, Kai? After all, when's the last time you even made an appearance with us? Five, six years ago?"
At the end of the row sits Somchai, not our leader, but our lead everything else.
Always a perfectionist, he's been doing solo stuff for years now, but I was the first one to pulla way and go off on my own, and he's never forgiven me for leaving the industry altogether and turning into an actor instead.
I bet he rolled out of his chair laughing when he saw that I'd taken an idol contract with kNight Ent. He always swore I'd get tired of acting and come crawling back.
Well, he got his wish.
"It's been three and a half years, and yes, I'm sure I'll remember the moves," I huff as my makeup artist toys with the eyeliner around my lashes.
"You have to warm up the tip of that pencil, or it makes my eyes water too much and ruins it," I tell her, thinking back to the time Denali taught me that trick.
"I know how to do my job," the poor girl mutters under her breath, but I brush it off as she finishes her job and walks off, glad to be done with me, no doubt.
"So," Dima says with a grin, spinning in his makeup chair, "are you excited?"
"Eh," I'm noncommittal about it, hoping he won't ask too many questions. "I'm meh about it. I didn't even know we were being nominated until three days ago."
"Oh, right," he nods solemnly, all seriousness now. "Didn't your company make an announcement that day, too? Something about respecting their performers' private lives and decisions in them?" He's teasing me, but I know what he's after. And I'm not giving it to him.
"He's seeing someone on the side. I can't believe he turned out to be straight. When we were in dorms—"
I hurl a shoe at Jihoon, whose attitude has always been my least favorite. He's had a running joke that I'm gay ever since he caught me jerking off in the dorms and I didn't bother to put it away or stop while he rummaged around in his drawers for a pair of socks.
It's not like I pointed it at him and came on his damn face, but the way he carries that joke years later, I might as well have.
"He's always been into women," Tianyu says with a grin that splits his face in half. "Too much, if you ask me. Tell me, Kai, how did one manage to lock you all the way down?"
I forget I'm pretending not to be in a relationship. "She's perfect. Why would I want anything else when she's everything I ever wanted?"
"Aha! I told you he had a girlfriend." Dima grimaces as Tianyu holds his hand out and gestures rudely at him. "Pay up, sucker."
The fact that they're betting on my love life shouldn't surprise me, but I assumed that they'd grown up some while I was gone. I see some things never change.
"Hey, you guys, ten minutes to stage," Somchai reminds us, just as his stylist puts the finishing touches on his uniform. We all look like the old us, kings of the stage from a foreign land who worked damn hard to get where we are now. "Hurry up and get ready."
Jihoon perks up as he falls in line beside his leader, ever the eager puppy. "Hey, why don't we all go out after the show for a meal, catch up? It's been so long—"
Somchai glares at him, and it silences the man, making him curl in on himself. I don't think he's against a family meal after the performance, so much as he's against the idea of me being there, too. He won't say it, though.
I will, though. "I dunno if I still qualify as a real part of this family, Jihoon."
Before he can get an answer out to that, we're being whisked onstage, and just like that, it's all muscle memory and flashing abs and the roar of the crowd.
I search the crowd for my girl, and I find her front and center, wearing a smile to rival the brightest rays of the sun. She wags her fingers at me, from her lap, and then she's out of sight as the choreography takes me to the other side of the stage.
For now.
"Wow, man! I can't believe you actually did it! The upside-down hang in the cage? You used to refuse to do that move, but tonight? Wow. Just wow."
Jihoon pats me on the back as we all shuffle out of the dressing room once more, wearing the attire we came in.
Everyone's riding the high of the performance, and I'm no different.
But unlike the others, the only thing it makes me want to do is find Denali and celebrate. Not drag the night out with the others.
Somchai pulls me off to the side as the others walk ahead, oblivious to the two of us falling behind.
His glare is still sharp and unhappy, but he's maybe less unhappy than before, and I start to realize it's a mask.
He's playing hardass, just like I used to, to keep from cracking and saying something to show his true feelings.
"You did good out there on the stage," he admits, poking his tongue into the inside of his cheek as he works up the words he wants to say.
"I know I said some things over the years that made you feel like I wasn't happy with you, and I wasn't, but I was just upset that you could leave us like that and never look back.
It felt like you didn't care about the others at all. "
He has no idea the real reason behind my abrupt departure and career change all those years ago, mostly because I never told him.
"You know, there was a scandal. It wasn't anything special, but it was big enough that the company didn't want it to taint the group and damage their chances of hitting it big with us.
So they told me I had two choices—get married, which was the demand the blackmailer made, or leave the group.
And I'll be damned if I give in to someone else's demands.
So I did what was best for the group, trying to give you all your best shot, and the company helped launch me in Japan with some talent agencies looking for actors.
" It's not my proudest moment, and until now I've never told anyone the story behind leaving, but if anyone deserves to hear the truth, it's Somchai.
After all, he's the one who begged me not to go, and the one I hurt the most when I left.
"Was she pregnant?" She meaning the blackmailer.
"I think so. But I never slept with her.
She ended up roping in some other idol two years later with a new baby, but I doubt it was his, either.
Or if it was, he got really unlucky. Her first wasn't mine; they tested her, but by then it was too late.
I'd already made the shift, and the company had already taken my resignation.
" It was a shame, too. They actually came back to me and asked me to rejoin the group, said they'd make something up, but there was no way something like that wouldn't have destroyed what little credibility the group had overall.
"You've always been a part of this family, I hope you know that," he says with a hand on my shoulder, his face dropping the mask he's worn since I walked in.
I assume he didn't want me there, and I would have sworn I was right, but now?
Now it feels like there was more to it, that maybe he just wasn't ready to see me again and face his own feelings about it.
"Jihoon won't shut up about how much he misses the good old days, when we were all together all the time.
Why don't you come to the team dinner, with us, as a family again? "
The offer is tempting, but I've got Denali waiting for me. "I—shit, that's a hell of an offer, Sommy," I break out his old nickname, testing it out on my tongue as he grimaces like he always has when I use it. "But I've got a girl waiting on me."
In fact, she's right there at the end of the hallway, and with a wave and a smile, she heads my way, her feet flying as she launches herself at me with a giggle of pure joy.
I catch her, because I'd be a fool not to, and plant a kiss on her lips—a brief one, so my bandmates don't tease me too hard for it.
"You guys were amazing!" She's seen me perform so many times it's hard to believe she'd think this one time was any more special than the last, but the way her eyes sparkle as she looks up at me and grins has my heart beating a little faster.
"The cages! Oh, my god, it was wild. You should have heard the crowd—"
"They always do like the cage performance. It's one of our most demanded shows of all time," Tianyu tells her, appearing over her left shoulder like a sentinel. "And who are you?"
I shoot him a warning glare, but he ignores it as she spins in my embrace and offers him her hand. "Oh, I'm Denali. I'm Kai's assistant—er, ah, his girlfriend."
She's still working on the titles thing. It's cute to watch her fuck it up sometimes.
Tianyu doesn't give her any quarter just because she's mine or she's a girl. "Oh, so it's like that, huh? What was it about this fool that convinced you to give him a shot? Did you have to brain him with a skillet to get him to listen, and maybe shook some of his brain cells back into place?"
Her laughter is contagious. "Oh, nothing like that. I just bossed him around. Apparently, Kai likes that sort of thing."
This starts up a whole new round of teasing at my expense. I'm thrilled that they like her, but I can't wait to get her alone. A plan that's dashed against the rocks the minute Johoon opens his mouth and asks about the team dinner.
Denali obviously offers to let me go, and once the guys see that she's given me permission, they don't let up.
Even she joins in on the insistence that I attend, insisiting she'll have Anton take her shopping or something while she's here, maybe grab a quick bite with him and then head back to the cabin to get ready for tonight.
When she says that, she shoots me a wink that everyone can see, giving me an easy out for an early departure. It means I won't need to stick around and get wasted with them after the meal.
I thank the lucky stars every day that she agreed to be mine. She's smart, too smart, and cunning to boot. And soon enough, she'll be naked underneath me again, and I can set to work showing her how grateful I am for her presence in my life.
"Promise me you'll text me when you get back to the cabin?" I'm still a little antsy about letting her go on her own, but she'll have Anton with her. He'll keep her safe, I just know it.
"Of course." She stretches up, leaving a brief, light kiss on my cheek before she pats my ass and sends me on my way. "Don't stay out too late. I'll be waiting for you."
I can't wait to find out exactly what that means.
An hour after she leaves me, I'm in the middle of slurping up some hotpot when I get a text with an image.
It's a picture of a set of lingerie, sitting on the bed in the cabin.
I don't think I've ever seen it before, and holy shit, it's sexy as fuck.
The only other thing in the text is the message she typed up to send with it.
Can't wait for you to peel this off of me when you get back, bossman.
I have to swallow hard to manage to not choke on the meat in my mouth.
Around me, dinner goes on like nothing's happened, but I'm harder than a rock under the table, and ready for this to be over so I can skip out on the drinks and go find out just how ready for me she is.
A half hour later, as we're splitting the check, I get another message—this time, it's an image of a vibrator lying on the bedspread, and it looks kinda slick.
Couldn't wait for you to get home. Had to get off.
And then another picture comes through, and it's of her fingers. Only they're spread in a slight V shape, and there's slick sprawling between them, clinging to each digit like a lifeline. She's coated in it.
Too bad you're not here to lick this up for me. How's dinner?
I growl as I throw my card down and tell the waitress I'll pay for everything, just to speed things up.
The whole group looks at me in shock, but I'm well off.
I'm not hurting for money. What I'm hurting for is my woman, and she's not making it easy on me with all these borderline horny ass messages.
Another one comes through while I'm accepting my card back, and I make my excuses as I hurry to the car after a brisk round of goodbyes and promises to be more in touch now that I've got a woman to corral me, determined to get back to Denali before I come in my damn pants.
But when I get to the cabin, the lights are all out, and I've got a sudden shiver down my spine that has me racing toward the bedroom, body on high alert.
No. No, please no.
I left her alone, thinking she'd be safe. Anton should be with her. But where is he? He's not at the door. And when I pick up the phone along the wall, there's no dial tone.
My fear ratchets up to an eleven, and I sprint like a madman toward the stairs, hoping I'm wrong, that there's a logical explanation for all this.
Anton's body lays on the bottom step, sprawled at an unnatural angle, and I stop to check for a pulse.
When I find one, I make a split-second decision and search for his gun, but it's nowhere to be found, either.
It's me and my hands, against what I'm sure now is a madman who might be holding my girl hostage—or worse.
Never in my life have I moved so fast, and yet felt like I was standing still.
I'm sweating, heart hammering in my chest, fear oozing from my pores.
I don't pray to a god, but I'm doing it now, hoping against hope that she's okay when I get to her.
The rest doesn't matter.
My heart falls into my stomach when I round the corner and open the door.