Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Mikayla
Back at the house, we all took off to our respective rooms to shower and change.
Agreeing to meet in the living room once we had all gotten cleaned up.
It surprised me when I was the first to make it down, but then again, it shows the difference between living in a land of luxury, and living on the run.
As I haven’t had any time yet to really look around their place, I wander the living room to see what’s up for display.
Photos cover the walls and mantle. Graduations—both high school and university—family shots and even some touristy locations with them posing.
There are snaps with them celebrating one another, one of Kade’s new family additions, and one—
My body instantly freezes, every joint seeming to lock up at the same time as my brain goes on hiatus. Reaching out, I gently grab the frame that caused my short-ass, trained assassin mind to give up.
It’s not overly large, or heavy, but it’s clearly well taken care of with not a speck of dust on it.
It’s not the frame that’s halted all thought, it’s the picture sitting inside.
It’s all of us junior year, the last day of school before summer holidays.
Mere hours before our lives—mostly mine—were uprooted and changed forever.
I’m sitting on the top of the picnic table in our back yard.
Zane and Ryder on my left, Kade and Max to my right, with my arms resting on the inner two’s shoulders.
All of us with bright smiles and glints in our eyes.
My mom took it that day as we all got home from school. She wanted to memorialize the start of another summer together and celebrate Zane passing his drivers test. His Mom presented him with his Jeep that evening. Our beach day was the second outing with it, and the last for me.
Tears collect in my eyes, the memory hitting harder than I expected. At the same moment, one crests over the edge of my lower lash line, I feel the presence of one of the guys behind me.
“Do you remember that day?” Ryder asks, viewing over my shoulder.
His chest pressed against my back as we both look at the distant memory.
I casually raise my hand to my face, swiping away the tears that have fallen and playing it off as I’m moving strands of hair.
No need for them to see how deeply little things like this can still affect me.
“Yeah,” I finally respond. “We were celebrating, and my mom wanted to remember it. But… how did you guys get the picture?” Placing the photo back on the shelf where it belongs, Ry’s hands move to rest on my shoulders.
Slowly guiding me toward the couch, he sits, patting the spot beside him.
His eyes regard me with a softness I’ve not seen in years, but I can see the sadness that hides behind them.
“It took a little over a week for the authorities to release your house and allow us entry. Although we were questioned as to why four young men were so adamant on getting into the house, once we explained, they let us go with an officer escort. We just wanted to be able to grab pieces of you to be able to remember,” he sighs.
“What do you mean ‘pieces of me?’”
I turn in my spot, lifting one of my legs underneath me so I can lean my elbow comfortably on the back of the couch. With this position, my back is facing the stairs, which is probably why I didn’t notice Zane approach before he spoke.
“You were just gone, Bear.” Z’s voice is quiet, a fraction of the volume he normally speaks at, but it still has me jumping in surprise.
“It was like you vanished into thin air. No evidence, no signs, nothing. The four of us couldn’t function properly during that time, walking around like empty shells.
We needed something tangible that we could hold onto, stare at or squeeze when everything felt like too much.
So, we all went in and selected items that, to us, were something special about you. ”
Moving around the couch, he places himself on the coffee table directly in front of where I am and leans forward. His arms rest on his knees as he swipes a hand through his hair. The same sadness I read in Ryder’s gaze is in Zane’s as well, like a group link.
Those damn tears have returned, my eyes stinging from trying to hold them at bay. Max creeps up to my left, my head whipping his direction when he speaks. When the fuck did he get there?
“We know you’ve never seen the inside of our rooms, but if you were to walk into any one of them, you would recognize some things.
Each of us have items that gave us the strength and the hope to keep looking for you all this time.
Personally, I have the stuffed koala you used to keep on your bed, and swear you didn’t still sleep with, and your kindle.
I’ve read every title you had saved, and even added a few of my own,” he says, walking around the couch and planting himself in the chair beside Ry.
“Your first-place trophy from the track meet we trained together for, sits on my dresser and your various sketchbooks are on my bookshelf,” Ryder adds.
“I have the blanket we made together in the eighth grade, the cup of Mom’s we broke and tried to glue back together, thinking she wouldn’t notice,” Zane smirks, his eyes squinting at the memory.
“And your gymnastics videos are all in my closet.” The second he’s done the final voice pipes up behind me.
“The first thing I did was grab both yours and your mom’s phones. Which is how we got that picture, I knew that I wanted it but I also knew that they would hold the last recording we had of your voice, of you. I also took the first edition hardcovers you collected, and this…”
Kade’s voice trails off as my gaze floats down to the little black box he’s holding in his hands. The tears I had been doing so well to hold back, explode out of me. Spilling over like a rushing river as my face goes pink and a ball catches in my throat.
I know that box, know it well and remember it vividly. Dragging my eyes off one of the most special things to me, I look back at my Gemini. A silent question shining through as he stares back with a slight upturn of his lips.
“Yeah,” he mumbles softly. “It’s really them.”
Sobs wrack my body, loud, hard, and very un-assassin like. As I take it from his outstretched hands and move to open the lid.
Just as he claimed, there sits row after row of twenty-something keychains. The very same ones that my dad had always brought back for me. The only thing that made him leaving for long periods of time a little okay.
Without even thinking, running off feral instinct, I hand the box off to Ry and leap over the back of the couch.
Forcefully crashing into Kade and wrapping my arms around him tightly, crying into his chest. He catches me, as he always has, stroking my hair and pressing his lips to the top of my head.
I may have swore to myself that I wouldn’t show any weakness—to them or anyone else—but him remembering this tiny detail, this special thing my father and I had.
It means more to me than he will ever know.
And the fact that not only did he remember that day to grab it, but has kept it with him all this time…
fuck. I’m going to be sobbing for years.
It takes some time, but I finally manage to calm down again. My breathing returns to a more reasonable pace and my heart finally doesn't feel like it’s about to leap out of my chest. I press my palms into my cheeks, wiping away the lingering tears and turn towards the lot of them.
“I’m sorry,” I whimper with a hiccup and hang my head.
Feet shuffle from somewhere around me, and before I can look up to see where Zane is, he’s front of me. He hooks my chin with his finger, pulling my face up to meet his. His eyes look deeply into mine, past the surface of pain and feigned strength, to the little girl still hiding within.
“What the hell are you apologizing for, Bear?” he asks, his face scrunching slightly and eyes narrowing.
“For leaving. For putting you all through this for so long,” I say timidly, my lip quivering as I do. “For running when I saw you all again.”
Zane’s arms wrap around my shoulders as he pulls me into his chest and away from Kade. His chin takes up a natural position on the top of my head—because fuck all these guys being over a foot taller than I am—and I wrap my arms around him.
One thing I noticed since escaping Colt and the Havoc Vipers, is my newfound aversion to being touched—or even to touch others.
It gives me a nasty reminder of their hands all over me against my will, and unless it’s out of a need to get railed, I generally want to run when someone gets too close.
But with the guys…my guys…it feels normal. Safe even.
“Bear, you have nothing to be sorry about. You shouldn’t be apologizing for that. Ever! It wasn’t your choice and was out of your control, love. We’re just happy that you’re back with us again. Safe and in one piece,” Zane continues as he rubs small circles against my back.
After our heartfelt and intimate moment, we talked for a little while longer about random things.
The conversation was light and airy after the dump of heavy we just had.
At one point my stomach growled so loud the whole municipality of Miami probably heard it, reminding Max he was in charge of dinner.
I laughed harder than I have in a long time during the meal and once we all pitched in to clear the table, Ryder jumped up.
His face had the largest grin I’ve ever seen as he ran into the living room, coming back with cards and a poker chip case.
Now, gambling—primarily cards—isn’t something that I normally indulge in playing, and for good reason. It’s not that I’m shit at the game, quite the opposite in fact. I’m too good. I became so proficient that it actually got boring to play.
After being sent on mission after mission with the intent to meet up with whatever crime boss or casino owner Colt was after that week, gambling became second nature.
Almost all of my time was spent inside the casinos along the Vegas strip.
And well, one tends to look funny standing there, dressed to the nines, but not playing anything.
At one point I even managed to get myself kicked from a couple after winning a large amount.
The owners thought my ass was counting cards or psychic or something.
They all want to play, and for real money no less, so who am I to deny stripping them of unneeded funds.
Feigning innocence for the first couple of rounds, I made sure to lose and watched as they all looked upon me with arrogance and pity.
Good boys. I love them, but I’m about to hand their asses back to them on a silver platter.
I’m down about two hundred, and they still think they have it in the bag.
Slowly I earn back little by little, while they suspect nothing.
Figuring is just a lucky hand or two, until I break even and let the real me out.
Sixty minutes later, we’re calling it quits and I’ve taken them for a grand total of six hundred and fifty eight bucks. Each one of them look at me with their mouths agape and furrowed brows. Completely stunned on how the hell they went from gloating to bankruptcy.
Getting up to leave the table, I wink and blow them a kiss, smirking while I tuck my winnings into the elastic of my pants. “Thanks for the shopping money, boys,” I coo before turning and heading off to bed.
Just as I hit the stairs, they break out of the shock, and Max’s exclamation has me laughing inwardly.
“Can someone explain what the fuck just happened here?”