Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Mikayla
While the guys were cleaning up the card game, I was packing my things. Normally, I wouldn’t carry sentimental items with me, but zombies would have to attack before I left my dad’s keychain box behind.
Suitcase packed, backpack borrowed, the last order was to write out a quick note, in hopes it provided them with enough reasoning to not try and come after me.
Without going into depths of detail. Once I had everything collected and ready to go by the door, I placed the note on the dresser and climbed into bed.
Curled in on myself for one last good night of sleep before I ran from the people I love, in order to keep them safe.
The horrid screech of my alarms pulls me from my dreams and I groan. I know what must be done, but that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy doing it.
Climbing out of bed, I sling the bag over my shoulder and grab the handle of my suitcase.
My mind is in a constant state of battling with itself.
The want it feels to stay here, stay with them, versus the need to keep them safe.
In the end, their safety will always take top priority, but fuck the last few days have made it hard.
With a last longing look around the space they created just for me, I head for the hallway.
Closing the door on this part of my life—however fleeting it was.
The remaining doors on this floor are all closed, at two in the morning I would expect them to be, but for a moment I wish they weren’t.
Allowing me one last look at all of their calm, sleeping faces.
Skulking through the hall and down the stairs, I drop my bags at the door before moving for the kitchen.
The air is still and the tension thick on the main floor.
Like the house itself is trying to keep me from making it out the door.
Forcing me to wade through a fog as I cowardly escape into the night.
The fridge light glows, as I grab a bottle of water for the road, and leave my note and the spare keychain on the island countertop.
Just like when we were kids, the first place they hit in the morning is where the food is kept.
So, I have little doubt they’ll be able to find it in a timely manner.
My eyes close as I inhale deep, my lungs trying to take in as much of them as I can.
When they finally open, I look around once more, seeing the life they built for themselves and each other.
The luxury they live in after years of hard work, and I’m so damn proud of them.
They are where they’re supposed to be, surrounded by love, light, and success. Molds I don’t fit into any longer.
I’m ruthless, cold, and calculated. The epitome of darkness in a human host, and I refuse to ever snuff out their light.
Heading once again for the door, my steps feel as though someone tied lead weights to my ankles. It’s time to go, and everything in me wants to revolt, but I can’t stall anymore. When I make it back to where I left my bags, I nearly miss the fact that the backpack is missing.
Double checking that it didn’t fall under the table, or behind the plant, it’s still nowhere to be found. I even checked my own shoulders in case I forgot I put it on. What the hell? How does a bag just get up and walk away? If this is another sign it’s not—
A throat clears from the steps, and my spine goes hard. Straightening out as if someone shot a current right through it. How did I miss someone standing there? Better yet, how much has he figured out?
“Looking for this?”
Have you ever been gifted one of those jewelry boxes as a kid?
You know, the ones where you wind up the little handle, and a beautiful ballerina starts spinning on the inside.
A melodic song playing through a crappy internal speaker, as you pretend for just a moment that you could ever be that graceful?
Do you remember how slowly that little ballerina used to turn, as you waited to see her delicate face?
Yeah, I’m that ballerina.
My body is stiff, frozen in my spot but my feet spin of their own accord. Twisting me until I’m met with the sight of a very half-naked, and very annoyed Kade.
Well, shit.
“What are you doing up?” I ask, a feeble attempt at deflection.
“I don’t think it really matters anymore, because judging by the looks of you, it’s a good thing I am.”
My breath rushes out of my lungs, my body physically deflating at being caught.
This is the second time, in as many days, where the skills I have learned and honed over a decade, failed when I’m around them.
This isn’t a conversation I want to have in the middle of the night, and least of all with Kade.
My brain pinwheels like the loading screen in Internet Explorer as I try and think up a valid excuse for why I’m packed and sneaking out in the middle of the night. Shocker, nothing comes to me.
“Kade…,” I plead, hoping he’ll drop it and go back to bed. Double shocker, that doesn’t happen either.
“No! Not this time, Bear! You don’t get to try and reason or beg your way out of this.
” He bounds off the bottom stair, walking straight for me with a tight jaw.
His chest heaves with heavy breaths, drawing my eye to his torso.
He’s prowling towards me, and being even taller than the others, even my shy little Gemini looks menacing.
Instinctively, I retreat back trying to keep the distance between us.
Only stopping when the hall table presses against my lower spine.
Kade never stops however, dropping my bag when he’s only a few feet from me before closing the gap.
His arms cage me in, braced against the table's edge around me, his body only inches away from mine.
I’ve got no way to escape, no way to run. Stuck like a critter in a trap. Only the trap has green eyes, labored breaths, and a scowl across his face.
“Tell me why, Bear,” he orders, his voice an explosion against the quietness of the hall.
I can no longer hold his gaze, its intensity feels as though he’s ripping apart my soul and my eyes fall to the floor. Why, why did it have to be him? My soft spoken and sweet one.
The way he looks at me with so much hurt, so much betrayal, nearly has me collapsing right here. This is why I chose to leave the way I did. To disappear among the shadows, instead of watching the hurt splayed across their faces in its rawest form.
“It’s not safe,” I manage to whisper, my voice cracking from the pain. “I won’t let you guys be hurt because of me. Won’t put you in the middle of something you should never have been a part of.”
“Maybe that’s not your decision to make, Addison! It’s ours! We get to decide if we want to be in the middle with you!”
His voice has been slowly rising as the words flow out, but it’s the use of my name—my dead name—that has the last remaining threads of restraint I have, snapping.
“I told you, Addison is dead! She’s fucking gone, Kade!!” I snap, on the brink of a screaming match. My head tilts to look back at his face and the frustration is building behind his eyes.
“But why! Why is she dead?! You won’t tell us anything! You just keep running away! Don’t you understand?! Can’t you see it?!” he fumes as tears threaten to fall from his eyes.
“See what?!!”
His face relaxes, but the hurt in his gaze is clear.
Whatever it is that I can’t see, that I’m not understanding, is hurting him—deeply.
As if all the remaining fight has left his body, his shoulders slump forward and his eyes flutter closed.
His arms no longer cage me in, instead hanging limp at his sides and his head falls.
Although my head screams at me to leave, to grab my shit and run, my heart cries for the boy I loved and the agony he’s portraying.
I can’t—I won’t—leave him like this. I’ve loved each of these men since we were little, trailing behind them like a lost sheep, hoping they would notice me.
There’s not a cell within my body that doesn’t yearn to see them smile or hear them laugh.
Even if I’m the cause of the pain, I have to try and fix it.
To make him understand this is only necessary for all of our survival.
Taking a small step forward, I reach out for his hands and intertwine my fingers with his. His grip tightens, as I rub small circles against his skin, hoping to ease some of his pain.
“Kade, I’m sorry. I really don’t want to hurt any of you, but you have to understand—”
“No, I’m refusing right now, Bear. You don’t get to say goodbye and just leave us again. Not after we just got you back. I will not lose you, I can’t lose you,” he whimpers, pressing his forehead to mine. “I wouldn’t survive it a second time.”
He tears his hands from my grasp, reaching them up to cup my jaw and tilt my head to face him.
My eyes bounce between his, the green orbs seemingly cataloging every inch of my face, until they land on my lips.
With a single tug, he pulls me closer to him, and bends down until we’re sharing the same air.
My heart is racing towards an aneurysm with how fast it’s gotten, and all coherent thoughts have left my head.
The tension climbs as we stare into each other, and for a moment he seems to hesitate. His body relaxes ever so slightly, before he jolts forward and takes my lips into a searing kiss. A day I’ve dreamed about for years, but never thought would actually come, has happened. Kade is kissing me.
Holy shit, I’m kissing Kade!
Standing on the tips of my toes, I wrap my arms around his neck, latching onto his hair and holding him to me.
His lips are full and soft as they dance with mine, but this kiss is not slow or loving.
It’s born from a hunger developed over a decade.
A need that has been buried deep within each of us, only now seeing the light.
One of his hands drops to my waist, continuing to slide down until he’s gripping my thigh and pulling it to his hip.
The motion makes me gasp, and this new forceful Kade uses the opportunity to deepen our embrace.
Tongues are now dancing in some sort of lustful tango, as we devour each other in need.
When we finally do break for air, my head is swimming in a haze of lust and arousal.
The heat building in my core could warm a small village, as my hands move, bracing against his bare chest. Kade’s mouth doesn’t leave my skin, peppering kisses down my jaw and neck.
My head tilts to the side, providing more access, and when he sucks on my pulse point, I mewl.
“I’m in love with you, Bear,” he mumbles, punctuating his words with more kisses before pulling back.
His thumb runs across my lower lip, as he gently lifts my chin.
“I have been since I was thirteen. I’ve never wanted to be with anyone else, touch anyone else.
You are the gravity holding me to this earth, Mikayla.
You’re all there’s ever been for me, all there’s ever going to be. ”
My breath catches as I try to do anything more than just blink at the man. His words are still bouncing around my head, trying to register themselves within my brain. The room stays silent as I think, our heavy pants the only sound in this quiet night.
I’m stunned, shocked, downright flabbergasted.
When I realized all those years ago that I had feelings for the four people I called my best friends, I had determined that I was certifiably insane.
That nothing would ever come from what I felt, and over the years I buried the love I had deep within the darkness inside.
Telling myself that as long as I didn’t think about it, about them, they’d be safe.
Now, here’s this man that has occupied an increasing number of my wet dreams, confessing his decade-long affection.
It goes against every instinct I’ve built for myself in this life, every fiber within me that has been woven in an effort to protect. But looking into Kade’s eyes, standing here in his arms, I can no longer think of a rational reason to deny myself.
“I love you, too,” I murmur, and it’s like someone set off fireworks within the house.
My arms encircle his neck, forcefully bringing him back down to me while his hands settle on my hips.
Our lips mold together in perfect harmony, the kisses becoming frantic and needy.
His arms drop, grabbing me by my ass and picking me up.
I wrap my legs around his waist, grinding slightly against the large mass now pressing against my core.
There’s no stopping, and how he knows where he’s going is beyond me, but we clomp up the steps.
Bags forgotten, anger dissipated, just two people desperate to please each other.