Chapter 24 #2
The tension and heat within this room is thick, like wading through pudding, as we wait for either Max or Mik to agree.
Minutes that feel like hours pass, our gazes bouncing between the two, and mine occasionally flickering over to a scowling Kade.
It’s clear what we barged in on, or, at least, barged in after, and somewhere inside there is a part of me that is pissed with my brother for going behind our backs.
But whatever happened that led to them between the sheets, clearly stopped an escape in progress. So, how mad can I really be?
After what can only be described as an eternity, Max is the one to break. “Fine!” he concedes, throwing his arms in the air and rushing out the door.
“Fine!” Mik shouts after him, her head falling into her hands.
Nothing more gets said, as both Ryder and I head for the door.
With a last glance over my shoulder, I see Kade rubbing circles against Mik’s back, his lips to her ear whispering sweet nothings in an attempt to console her.
The moment is intimate and tender, as I find myself not jealous of Kade, but jealous he got there first. That he gets to be the one picking up the pieces and gluing her back together after Max’s explosion.
An hour later, we’re sitting around the living room table, coffee in hand. It didn’t go unnoticed that Max chose to sit the absolute farthest away from Bear. Nor was it missed that Kade is practically glued to her side. The three of them won’t even look at each other for fuck sakes.
Taking another sip from my mug, I sigh. Apparently it’s gotta be me who starts the shit, because if I wait for them to do it, I’ll be needing a walking stick and glaucoma medication.
“Okay, first things first. I think we’re owed some sort of explanation, Mik.
” I look at her, her head hanging, avoiding my gaze and fiddling with her fingers.
It takes her a second before she glances at Kade, who gives a slight tip of his head, and her shoulders fall.
It’s clear she was hoping he would jump to her defense.
Instead, he places his hand against her spine, the pad of his thumb working against her back in a soothing motion.
“I don’t know what to tell you. My shit was packed and I was headed out when Kade stopped me.
” She shrugs, as if that’s a good enough response.
It’s only now that I notice her suitcase and backpack sitting at the front door.
Discarded like she was literally caught right in the middle.
“I told you, when you guys found me that day. I’m not the same person. I’m not safe to be around right now.”
“EXCEPT YOU HAVEN’T TOLD US WHY!” Max shouts, jutting forward in his seat. “IN FACT, YOU HAVEN’T TOLD US ANYTHING!”
His voice is still echoing throughout the room, and it’s like I can see the walls being rebuilt around Mik’s heart and soul.
The very same ones that have kept her protected all these years, that I knew had been coming down in the last couple of days.
Slowly allowing us glimpses at the new her, the real her.
“Max!” I scold, shaking my head in utter astonishment. His lack of tact in this situation is not helping in the slightest. He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and throwing himself back against the chair. Acting like a toddler throwing a god damn tantrum.
“You’re right,” Mik responds, her voice calm but shaky. “I haven’t told you anything, because not knowing is better in this case. Not knowing is what keeps you safe, protected.” Her voice drops as she looks at her hands again. “What keeps you alive.”
Now, I think we all had the inclination that her repeating “it’s not safe” over and over like a motto was due to someone in her past. A brute or Ex throwing threats her way.
Someone trying to be a dominating presence in her life, turning up wherever she went, possibly trying to persuade her with a beating, maybe two.
But in all the scenarios we conjured, I don’t think it ever crossed our minds that she could have been talking about something as serious as death.
This is Bear, for fuck sakes. No matter what she’s gone through, she’s still the same person at the core of it all.
The girl who brightens our days, and laughs like a hyena.
Who collects keychains, loves koalas, and was always there when you needed a shoulder to lean on.
She’s still all of those things, so her being involved in something that could resort to a death? Is that even possible?
“Bear, what the hell are you so deep in the middle of?” I ask once again, praying this time she opens up and gives us an answer.
Finally looking at me, eyes glassy and tears gathering at the corners, it’s like I see the broken woman underneath the shield.
Whatever it is that she’s avoiding, that she’s running from, she wants it to end.
The exhaustion is there, written across her face like a neon sign.
She’s ready for it all to be over, to let it all out, but the fear of something happening that she can’t control…
it stops her. Prevents her from allowing us close enough to see what’s going on.
“I’m sorry, Z,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “I’m so, so sorry. But I can’t… I just can’t.”
A lump forms in my throat watching the girl that I love hurt so badly. With nothing I can do to help because she won’t allow me in. Allow any of us in.
“Babe,” Ryder lilts, standing from his spot by the fireplace and walking over to perch on the edge of the table in front of her.
He leans forward, enveloping her hands within his and holding onto them tightly.
Her body physically relaxes, shoulders lowering from her ears, as small whimpers escape from between her lips.
Every ounce of her attention is locked on his eyes, as he soothingly strokes her wrists.
“We love you, Bear. You’ve got to have figured that out by now.
You’re the be-all end-all, for all of us.
We need you to know that, because there is nothing we wouldn’t do to keep you with us.
To keep you safe.” His eyes flicker to the rest of ours, a silent question within them if this is what we want to do.
When none of us object, he brings his focus back to her.
“We discussed it a couple of days ago and we were supposed to wait on anything physical until we talked to you.” His eyes narrow, glaring at Kade.
“But with the events of this morning, we need to let you know. We all want you, Bear. To be with you in whichever capacity you’ll have us, together. ”
And there it is. The secret we’ve all been harboring officially out in the open. I just hope the feelings she has for Kade apply to the rest of us as well.
She gasps, quick and sharp, as her eyes dart between each one of our faces.
Even Max. There’s nothing left to hide in terms of our love for this girl, and the expressions we all carry reflect that.
What I didn’t expect however, is her face to scrunch, furrowing and tightening, like she’s fighting conflicting emotions within her.
Her body shifts, twitching and twisting as if ants were crawling under her skin. Until she looks at Kade with a quivering lip and narrowed eyes, the tears that she had been trying so hard to avoid begin falling against her cheeks.
“So, last night… was any of it real? Or were you just trying to get me to stick around? Afraid me leaving would affect the group decision you all made and paint you in a bad light?”
“No, Mik I swear, I—” Kade chokes, unable to produce the words he needs to explain. His mouth just hangs there, opening and closing, as his brain works overtime trying to fix the mess he’s in.
“I-I need to go,” Bear stammers, jumping to her feet and rushing to the front door.
“Mik!” Ryder calls, at the same time I do. “Bear!”
I’m on my feet in mere seconds, but it’s still not fast enough to catch her before she’s out of the room and around the corner. The thunderous slam of the front door lets us know she’s gone outside for some fresh air and space.
“Fuck!” I curse, turning towards the window with my hands on my hips.
There’s no doubt in my mind that we could have addressed that in a better way. Like, I don’t know, not immediately following Max screaming at her. But after thinking she had left, and then finding her with Kade…
Ryder told her it was up to her, he left the ball in her court, but I’m guessing the influx of knowledge still managed to spook her.
Although, she seemed more hurt that we had the conversation without her, rather than the fact we just declared we wanted to share.
I hope once she calms down a little, clears her head, she’ll be willing to come back and we can talk through it some more.
In the meantime however, I want—no I need—to know what the hell happened last night. And if the glares Kade is getting from Max and Ryder are an indication, I’m not the only one.
“What?!” He shrugs, shoving it off as if it’s something menial like getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“I thought we agreed to not initiate anything physical!?” Max bellows, his tone as cold as an arctic blast. I get that he’s hurt, or feels betrayed, but if he doesn’t lose the hostility towards Mik, we could end up losing her before we even actually get her.
“Start from the beginning and spill,” Ry demands, taking Bear's empty spot on the couch.
“There’s not much to tell really. I couldn’t sleep last night after getting woken up from a nightmare, so, I came down around two this morning for a glass of water.
When I hit the bottom of the stairs, I saw her bags by the door and thinking we had forgotten them when we got home, I grabbed her backpack to bring upstairs.
That’s when I caught her walking out of the kitchen and clued in that she was trying to bolt again without saying anything to us. ”
“And? How did the night go from that to her being half naked in your bed this morning?” I press, knowing there has to be more.
“I called her out,” he says nonchalantly.
“It ended up sparking an argument between us, in which I may or may not have snapped at her. I could tell I was losing the battle and in my head, all I could think about was how if I was never going to see her again, I at least wanted to have one kiss from her. So, I did. Then to my utter surprise, she kissed me back. Things escalated from there, and I told her how I’ve felt about her all these years and begged her to stay and well… you saw where it ended up.”
Kade finishes, and his eyes gloss over, like he’s reliving the memory of them together once again. A smile alights his face, spreading wide from ear to ear and honestly, I’m a little jealous of the fucker now.
“Well, now what the fuck do we do?” asks Max in a brassy tone that immediately makes me want to throttle him. Ryder must feel the same way as he gets up to move around the couch.
“Well, for one. We don’t fucking yell at her about secrets she’s been keeping for twelve years, Asshole!
” Piercing Max with a frigid glare before rolling my eyes.
“As for what to actually do, I have no idea. She’s clearly got some feelings somewhere for us, or she wouldn’t have reciprocated Kade’s advance.
Not only that but she didn’t seem agitated about the idea, more so that—”
“Uhh guys?” Ryder murmurs from where he’s been pacing.
“Just a sec, Ry.” I quickly answer before continuing. “As I was saying she seemed more—”
“Guys!” he tries again, on the brink of shouting this time.
“What?!” Kade and I call back in unison. It’s only as I look over to him, back straight as a board, facing out of the room towards the front entrance, that I realize he’s stopped pacing.
“Her stuff is gone.”
All three of us are up and out of our seats to join him at the door. Where only thirty minutes ago her two bags still sat, water bottle lying on top and keys on the table, now just an empty floor that elicits panic within each of us.
She’s running again. But this time it’s from her past, her emotions, and us.