Chapter Nineteen
He’s trying.
That’s all I’ve thought since he carried me to the bed and held me for hours. Strangely, I almost feel normal as I sit here across the table from Luca. He doesn’t look like a killer, though he does appear tired. The dark circles are more pronounced under his golden eyes in the glow of the dining room light. He might be part monster, but there’s a shred of decency in him that I’m clinging to for my survival.
As if he knows I’m staring, he looks up at me. “I have to run an errand,” Luca’s voice comes out low as I lay my fork on the ceramic plate. “And you have to stay here. I can’t… I can’t risk someone seeing you. You’re all over the news right now.”
“Really?” I can’t hide my surprise. “I didn’t think anyone would even notice I was gone.”
“Your divorce lawyer proved otherwise.” There’s something heavy in his tone, and I can’t tell if he hates the subject—or if there’s more to the story. “He’s worried about you, along with your friend… Lydia.”
I’m floored. “She’s spoken on the news? I can’t imagine her ever getting in front of a camera. Not even for me.” I let out a dry laugh, shaking my head. She’s as private as they come, but I can’t lie, hearing that someone is worried about me—even if it’s Kyle—makes me feel less invisible.
“I have more sources than the news,” he says quietly.
I don’t pry. I don’t want to know what his sources are, but it still begs the question… “So, you really don’t know who wants to kill me?” His gaze drops to the plate, and that is an answer in and of itself. “Who is it?” I push the plate away, thankful I already finished the leftovers he brought with him when he returned last night. Otherwise, my appetite would be gone.
“I don’t know… exactly. I’m meeting with someone today.” The vagueness in his answer has my stomach churning in the worst way.
“Who… Who do you think it is?” I don’t want to let my brain jump to conclusions, demanding him own up to it.
“Potentially, it could be… shit,” he grunts, running his hand over his face. “It might be your husband. It’s always the fucking husband, and on top of that… I have a deadline.”
I nearly choke on the oxygen I just breathed in. “What do you mean, deadline?”
“Thirty-one days.”
My brows furrow, confusion settling in my chest. What does that even mean? He has to kill me in thirty-one days? But the puzzlement only lasts a few beats as my mind puts it together…
No way… There’s no way.
I shake my head. “He wouldn’t.”
Luca grows eerily quiet as he pushes back from the table. He collects the dishes and carries them toward the sink, not bothering to offer any consolation or explanation. My head spins, and I expect myself to cry, but no tears come.
“He… He wanted me back,” I say, my voice pitchy and strained. “He came to my house. He begged me. He’s not it.”
Luca drops the plates in an obnoxious clatter. “I never said he was it. I’m only giving you the evidence I have, but it’s damning.” He doesn’t look at me as he turns on the faucet.
“That’s all the evidence you have? Really? Just a deadline?” I don’t know why it brings me relief, and it’s strong evidence, but I just… I can’t let myself believe it.
Luca methodically washes the dishes in the sink, carefully placing them on the drying rack. “You can choose to be in denial if you want, but he has to be involved.”
“I’m not in denial,” I shoot back at him. “I’m just saying you don’t have solid proof. It’s circumstantial at best. He loves me,” I reason, pushing back from the table. “It has to be someone else.”
Luca laughs. “You just keep telling yourself that.”
I narrow my gaze. “You just said that’s all you have—the deadline. Maybe someone used it because they wanted you to think it was Jared.”
“No one gives a shit what I think, and you signed a prenup. He’s got thirty-one days to cash in on your death, Emma. It’s not fucking rocket science, though I have to admit, he gave one hell of a speech to you outside your house. You think the Ring Camera caught that?” The way he taunts me with an eyebrow raised stings.
And I stand to my feet, shaking my head. “My camera should’ve caught you, too.”
“Oh no,” he smirks. “No, we have people for that, Little Red. But I’m sure they left that tantrum of yours on there. Solidifies that you’re unstable in the investigation. I’m surprised it hasn’t aired on the news. It was the last sighting of you.”
My lips part as my face flushes with heat. I hadn’t considered that he had seen my moment of chaos, but still. “Why’re you being like this to me now? You were just… You spent almost all day with me outside playing with the dog—and now, you’re talking to me like I’m just the whore in your basement.”
“Well, you’re the one sitting here claiming some prick who chose his secretary’s pussy over you actually loves you. It’s borderline in-fucking-sane. Maybe I overestimated—”
“Shut up,” I snap at him. “You think because I opened up and told you things that you suddenly know everything about me. You’ve known me less than a week. Someone can cheat and still… I was a bad wife.” I start to lose my thoughts, spiraling. “You’re gaslighting me.”
Luca slams his fist into the counter, causing me to jump. “Just stop justifying his actions, Emma. I swear, you’d probably blame yourself even if you weren’t in denial.”
“I’m not in denial.”
“You’d argue with God, Himself, wouldn’t you?” Luca shakes his head, his voice growing with anger. “Just go back to the basement and sulk a little more, beating yourself up for everything but your own actions. I have shit I have to take care of.”
I clench my hands at my sides, trying to come up with something to say, but words elude me. Instead, I just stand there, staring at Luca. His focus is on the sink, leaning against his fists. The muscles in his arms are taught, his jaw tense as he closes his eyes.
“I just didn’t think he had it in him,” I whisper, my mouth blurting out feelings I never intended to share. “And I guess maybe I want him to love me.” I don’t know why I’m giving him more to hold over my head, but he’s the only person I’ve ever told my darkest thoughts to—and it’s strangely therapeutic. Even if he hates me more for it.
Luca breathes in deep, his expression painful as he meets my gaze. “Why do you want him to love you?”
“Because at least then someone does.”
“Sometimes it’s freeing for no one to love you.” Luca holds my gaze. “It was the best fucking thing that ever happened to me. Love is weakness.”
That hits a nerve.
“You’re miserable, tortured, and no matter what you say to me, you’re clearly not happy,” I say, teetering back onto my heels. “You hate yourself.” I don’t know why I lash out, but his answer isn’t what I wanted to hear… Not that I know what is.
“You didn’t know the me before I met you,” he chuckles, pushing up off the counter to stand straight again. “And if I had done what I was supposed to, I wouldn’t be in this mess. It wouldn’t matter who was behind this hit. You’d be dismembered in a ditch somewhere, and I’d be three million richer—not arguing about your piece of shit husband.”
“Ex,” I whisper. “He’s my ex.”
“He’s not your ex for thirty-one days.” Luca’s voice is curt. “So I guess you can add cheater to your list of attributes, too.”
“Fuck you,” I sneer. “Asshole.”
Luca’s brow raises. “I can drop you off at his place, yeah? Maybe then you can feel loved.”
I glare at him. “You want me to record it for you? I think he has a security camera, too. Maybe we’ll just kiss and make up. Maybe you can get off later to it.”
“Only thing I’d be getting off on is your dead fucking body,” he growls, his eyes darkening in a way that make my heart flip-flop in my chest… with excitement.
I’m so fucked up now. Maybe I am unstable.
But I want to push him further. “You wouldn’t be able to kill me. I guess we all have our weaknesses. Mine is wanting to be loved, but yours?” I pause. “Yours must be me, and I think you’re just jealous.”
“You know what, Emma?” Luca crosses the kitchen faster than I can suck in a gasp of air, and I throw up my hands, bracing for impact. But he stops an inch shy of my palms. “You’re right. I’m about to go to war for you, and you have the audacity to sit in my fucking kitchen and tell me how you want him to love you. And you know, all I can think about is choking the life right out of him—after I cut his dick off.”
I search his face, my chest heaving. “I…”
“Don’t fucking say a word,” he sneers. “I don’t care to hear whatever explanation you have for this. One more fucking comment, and I might not find it so hard to take the light right out of those pretty ocean eyes of yours.”
I pushed way too hard.
“Okay,” I mutter, dropping my hands. “I’m sorry, Luca.”
“Say it again.” He takes a step toward me. The heat of his body is overwhelming, and I take a step back, running right into the wall.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat myself, excitement quickly morphing to fear.
He closes the distance again, cupping my chin in his hand. “No, say my name again, Little Red.” His thumb drags across my bottom lip.
“Luca,” I nearly whisper as my thighs clench. He dips his lips to mine, and I go for the kiss, chasing after his mouth—but he denies me.
“I don’t want to hear another man’s name ever come out of your mouth while you’re in my presence.” He drops his hand from my face and backs up a step. “Not one that’s had his dick in you.”
I nod, slipping past him and heading for the basement door. As I reach for the knob, feeling a mixture of embarrassment, anger, and shame, his hand grabs mine. I squeeze my eyes and turn back to face him.
“One more thing.” His voice is cold and unemotional once again.
“Yes?” I squeak.
“While I’m gone, lock this door from the inside. Don’t let anyone come in that’s not me. It’s not a great lock,” he says, softness suddenly returning. “But no one should be showing up right now.”
Fear shoots through my body. “Could someone show up?”
“I hope not.” With that, he releases me and gestures to the door. I open it and slip inside. “Lock the door, Little Red. Don’t let anyone in. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
The repetition from him only leaves me feeling more uneasy as I fumble with the lock at the top of the door. I can barely reach high enough to slide the deadbolt across. I have to stand on my tiptoes, but as I do, I hear the locks turn on the other side of the door.
I slip down the stairs and make my way to the bed, crawling under the covers even though I’m not tired. I shouldn’t have borderline picked the fight with Luca, but… It was less terrifying than coming to terms with the idea that the man I married was actually willing to pay millions of dollars for me to…
End up dismembered in a ditch somewhere.