Chapter Twenty-One
He’s not going to kill me.
“But he has no idea what he’s going to do,” I say to myself, conversing out loud like I’m in a psych ward. “Jared thought I belonged there for a while.” I roll my eyes as I stare at the ceiling.
When I lost my mom, the grief was like a rollercoaster. At first, I thought I was okay. I let myself grieve and live in sadness for a month, and then I told myself I had to get back to normal. That’s when it started coming in these waves. I’d be happy—almost normal and carefree—and then I’d crash even harder the next day.
“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to admit you might have a problem,” Jared’s voice comes to life in my head. “It’s not embarrassing to need help, Emma. I think… I think you might have bipolar disorder.”
I don’t have bipolar disorder. I lost my mom, my marriage wasn’t what I wanted it to be, and I tried so hard to have children—but that didn’t happen either. I was watching my life go up in flames. Maybe to the outside world, it should’ve been fine. I had all the money I could ever want, and yet I never even spent it.
I should’ve told Lydia I was drowning.
I deflected over and over, never letting her in. It didn’t help that Jared didn’t like her. He thought she filled my head with ideas that involved leaving him.
“She’s toxic to your mental health, too. She lives in the books she writes—and she’s just trying to convince you to do the same.”
I laugh at the sound of his voice in my head and run my hands over my face. He was holding on so tight yet fucking someone else in his spare time. Whether justified or not, it was slimy. I could’ve forgiven him—if I loved him. But I didn’t love him anymore. I didn’t even love me.
Do I love me now?
I think about the fear pulsing through my body as I slid out of Luca’s grip in the woods, and how the will to survive kicked in. I felt so alive—and when I laughed in the yard with Major, the happiness crept back into my soul. Luca might be the death of me in one way or another, but he’s made me feel alive again.
And I don’t know what to do with that.
The sound of a bark breaks my thoughts and I shoot up in bed, hearing Major going off upstairs. My heart jumps to my throat. Does he bark like that when Luca comes back? Is that normal?
I flip the covers back, and slide out of the bed, carefully moving toward the stairs. Major is still barking when I make it to the top of the staircase. My heartbeat throbs in my ears, and I take long breaths to slow it down so I can listen.
“What the fuck,” a voice says on the other side. “Shut up, Major.”
It’s not familiar.
“Luca!” the voice calls. “Where the fuck are you?”
My stomach lurches as I realize just how close it is to the door. Sweat beads up across my forehead. Is this the reason he told me to lock the door from the inside? Will someone hurt me? Or is it just his jealousy?
“Hopefully, you’re taking care of this fucking mess,” the voice calls out. I jump as the lock suddenly turns on the bottom of the knob. I consider grabbing it, but I’m too late as the door jerks, hanging on the deadbolt at the top. “What the fuck?” The man on the other side of the door grumbles, jerking on it again. It begins to splinter.
Oh shit. Shit. SHIT.
“Luca, you piece of shit!” the guy shouts as a heavy kick rattles the frame. He jerks at the door again, and this time I do grab the knob, keeping him from turning it. “Ah, are you trying to keep me out, Emma?” he snarls through the door. “Did Loverboy install a lock for you?”
I stay silent. I never saw Luca install a lock. I figured it was always there.
“I take it that he did,” the man on the other side of the door cackles. “But now, I know he’s not down there, is he?”
Again, I don’t say anything, and Major fills the silence, his barks growing urgent—but he sounds muffled… Like he’s been locked outside.
“Oh, when I get my hands on you…”
I shudder, and as I do, another heavy kick lands on the door. This one splinters the frame, and I feel the give.
“Have I ever told you how much I love a challenge? Luca and I are similar in that way,” he huffs, his voice clearer than ever. “The only difference between the two of us is that I take what I want—and I’ll take your pussy and your life with no hesitation.”
My heart is in my throat as his final kick lands on the door, sending the door and me flying backward. I stumble, my ass hitting the stairs, and careening down. It knocks the breath out of me, but I maintain consciousness.
“Ouch,” the figure at the top of the staircase gleans. “Luca should’ve known he can’t keep me out. It’s like him to keep someone all to himself, you know—but then again, this is the first time he’s gotten his dick wet.”
I brace against the wall and clamber to my feet, searing pain shooting through my lower back. Slowly, the man descends the steps. He’s about the same size as Luca, and the warm glow of the light illuminates the sneer on his face. He looks nothing like Luca, his nose stronger and his eyes lighter.
“I think we should have a frank discussion, Little Red.” He spews my nickname in an insidious tone. “Luca fucked this up when he let you live, and while I thought we’d get to enjoy the playtime with you, he’s playing selfish. I think it’s time to set him straight.”
Terror lights up inside my core as his gaze rakes over me, and Major continues to bark, high-pitched and in a choppy succession. He’s panicking, and that only serves to escalate my own heart rate.
“You not gonna talk?” He raises a dark brow. “I’d love to see those lips of yours move—or maybe I’ll just choke the words out of you with my cock.”
I fall backward as he lunges, and narrowly, I avoid his grasp. A scream escapes my throat as I do so, and it’s as shocking to me as it is to my attacker.
“Holy shit, the lungs you have on you,” he bursts into laughter, rushing to block the stairwell. We’re in a standoff, and he’s in an athletic position. I know he’s faster than me. I’ll never get past him, and the sick feeling in my stomach is entirely different than the one I felt when Luca was chasing me. It’s as if innately I knew Luca was never going to hurt me—in hindsight, anyway.
“Come on, Little Red,” he challenges me. “You can cry for him if you want. He may have painted himself as your savior, but the moment I defile you, you’ll be worth nothing to him.”
My heart jumps at that statement. Is that what would happen? Didn’t he threaten to kill me over Jared? I push it away, but the moment catches me off guard long enough for my attacker to make his break. And I fumble it.
His body slams into mine, the scent of alcohol mixed with cologne filling my lungs as I gasp for air at the impact. His heavy arms wrap around my body, lift me off the ground. I’m up against a fucking Viking of a man. I kick my legs as hard as I can as he carries me straight for the bed—and then shoves me on my face.
I know this drill. I know what happens. I’ve heard the stories, and as he grabs at my waistband, I let out a blood-curdling scream.
“Fuck, those lungs,” he growls above me. My kicks lands against his thighs, but he doesn’t buckle. Instead, he reaches down and plucks me back up. “Let’s see…” he snarls in my ear. “How did Luca do it to you the first time? I heard you come, and I bet you’ll do it again for me, whore.” The term hits much different when this man says it, and tears roll down my cheeks as he grinds against the back of me. “Come on, play back.”
“Go to hell,” I choke out as he ups his roughness. His hands land on my stomach and try to push them away, but he still makes it under my shorts and over my underwear. “Stop!” I scream the word at the top of my lungs—a word I never wanted to utter when Luca touched me.
His free arm wraps around me, capturing my arms. “I’m taking you with me, Little Red.”
I fight. I fight as he fumbles, unable to access me as I tuck my legs up and clench them tightly. He won’t fucking touch me. I won’t let him.
And I scream again as his lips brush my neck.
He’s going to ruin me.
And if he does, then he might as well kill me.
“Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever had one fight like this,” he grunts, trying to wrench my thighs apart. My muscles cramp, and I cry out in pain.
And then Major’s shrill barking cut through the air.
He’s closer. I hear him coming down the stairs, and I’m suddenly jerked to the side as he turns to face the dog.
But it’s not just the dog.
Luca is on us in a blur, his shadow making everything go dark in front of me. His chest smashes into my face, smothering me. A gush of something warm soaks the back of my neck and shirt, and I whimper as the grip loosens from around my body. A gurgled noise rattles against me, and I squeeze my eyes shut, my hands clinging to the man in front of me.
I ball his T-shirt in my fists, my fingers cramping as the stickiness runs down my back beneath my shirt. I’m terrified to open my eyes. Luca stumbles back, and I go with him, feeling the warmth and softness of Major’s fur against my leg.
“You’re okay,” Luca rasps in a foreign tone. Something is wrong in the way he speaks, and it jars my eyes open. I peer up at him, his expression dead, almost haunted. Blood splatter dots his face, and he peels me from his body, wrenching my hands from his shirt.
He doesn’t meet my gaze as he steps toward the man on the floor. I gawk at him, my hands still clenched as he approaches the crumpled figure beside the bed.
“You fucker,” he roars, his voice dark enough to send a shiver down my spine. His booted foot collides with the man’s stomach, and another gurgled wail comes from him.
Holy fuck.
I nearly fall on my ass as I take in the sight of a screwdriver, driven through the man’s neck. My hand flies up to my mouth as Luca crouches down, and says something inaudible… And then cranks the screwdriver in a clockwise motion, more gurgled wailing following.
This is the man who was going to kill me.
I suddenly realize that all the times he tried to kill me, it wasn’t because I fucking escaped. It’s because he just didn’t want to.
But now I’ve been ruined.