Chapter Thirty-Three
I toss and turn, coming in and out of bad dreams of Luca taking me all the way into blackness.
“Please stop,” I beg as Luca pins me down on the floor. His eyes, a glowing shade of midnight. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I struggle to breathe, thrashing against his grip. My vision comes and goes and as my eyes flutter open, I’m back in my room in Georgia. The master bedroom. I take in the photos of Jared and I on the ski slopes, at his family’s Christmas, and then the last pictures I have of my mom and me.
My eyes fill with tears as I see the dark circles under her eyes. She was so sick. She was so sick, and she didn’t even tell me until all the sand in the glass had run out.
“Bitch,” a voice calls above me. It’s not Luca. I whip my head up to see Manny.
“Fuck you!” I shout at him as he grins wickedly down at me. I throw useless punches at him as he closes off my throat. I gasp for air, and once again, I shut my eyes, but when I open them this time, it’s not Manny. It’s not Luca. It’s the real fucking devil in my mind.
Jared.
“You’re just unstable, baby,” he coos above me, his voice dripping with sympathy. “Are you sure you shouldn’t talk to someone? I have a great therapist. Melanie, my secretary sees him.” And then he squeezes me to death.
I jar awake and instantly reach for Luca, my hands trembling.
But he’s not there.
I rub my eyes, the realization hitting me. This is the first night Luca hasn’t come up, and I assume he’s staying on the couch—or somewhere. I owe him an apology. I do. I shouldn’t have gone off on him. But… That would mean I would have to tell him the truth.
Iwant to confront Jared. And that’s the only reason I want him to stay alive. It’s not about punishing him by letting him live. It’s about closure to my decade long marriage, and then I can start over. With Luca.
My eyes drift to the clock on the wall and my heart skips a beat.
12:04A.M.
“It’s over,” I breathe out, the realization hitting me. It’s over. I rip the covers back, not even caring that Luca’s probably still mad. I race out of the bedroom, and instantly, the air in the house feels wrong.
“Luca?” I call out as I thunder down the stairs, Major hot on my heels. Panic thrums through my chest, as I cover the house, calling for him.
But he’s not there. He’s not anywhere.
“Where did he go?” I turn to Major, my hands shaking. “Where is he?”
Major tilts his head at me, like I should know the answer to my own freaking question. I blow out a sharp breath and take off to the garage, ripping the door open.
No, no, no!
His motorcycle is gone. Is this what he planned all along? This can’t have been the plan. This isn’t our plan. I glance around the garage, trying to gather my thoughts. I didn’t have a chance to apologize. Is he going back to The Den?
I rush back into the house, Major now hyped up and running alongside me as I race back to the stairs. I go to the cave and push down on the lever. However, I freeze as I see the keypad.
I don’t have the code.
Fuck.
I stare at the keypad, defeat riddling me. I try his birthday. I try my birthday. I try Major’s birthday. I lean my head against the door and stifle a sob. There’s no one here to watch over me. No one to help.
No one to stop me from leaving.
The thought plays on repeat as I push myself off the door. I glance down at Major. “Where do you think he went? And what”s the fucking code?”
The black dog huffs out a sigh in response, and then it hits me. Ten, thirty-two, twelve.
Click.
“Of course,” I laugh, shaking my head. I step into the room, and go straight for the computer, waving the mouse.
I navigate to the GPS folder and bypass the encryption—just like Jude showed me—however, something glitches on the screen. I furrow my brow as a message pops up on the screen.
Sorry, can’t let you in. Blocking the system for your protection. I’ll come get you tomorrow. -Jude
“Fucker,” I mutter, fumbling with the keyboard, but nothing I do seems to bypass that message. It flickers over and over again. Luca doesn’t want me to know where he’s going—and he’s obviously not coming back.
Did I run him off? Is this it? He’s going to pass me to Jude and disappear? Was this part of the plan all along?
I rip the keyboard away from the computer and throw it as hard as I can across the room. The cord hangs and sends one of the monitors careening to the floor. It hits with a crash, and the rush of adrenaline that comes with it feeds into my anger.
And it feels fucking good.
I tear the rest of the monitors off the wall and send them crashing across the room, shattering the screens and denting the drywall. “I’ll pay to replace them,” I say, as I burst into laughter. This must be what it feels like to go crazy. Major sits at the threshold of the room, watching me lose my shit.
“Let’s go,” I instruct Major as I step delicately across the trashed room. “I’m sure Luca will be pissed about this.” I glance back one last time before closing the door. I walk calmly to the bedroom, and head for the closet where all my clothes are hung. The attention to detail Luca had given when he bought a wardrobe for me was admirable, but now, I wish I had something else to wear.
But it is what it is.
This isn’t a breakup. We were never together—and his leaving proves the point that he’s never cared about how I feel about things. I don’t love Jared, but I want Luca to care about what I want to do. I want him to care about what I want. But he just cares to control me.
“Men,” I scoff, grabbing a pair of black skinny jeans and white crop top. If I’m really going to do this, I’m going to look good doing it. I dress quickly, and then reach for the bags beneath the clothes hanging in the closet. Luca had come home with all kinds of things, and sure enough, at the bottom was minimal makeup.
They were expensive brands, but I couldn”t care less.
I spend the next forty-five minutes giving myself the perfect smokey eye and pulling my hair half up. When I finish, I go sifting through the rest of it. “Where’s that mask?” I hum to myself as Major once again keeps a watchful eye on me.
My fingers grasp the edge of the black mask, and I pull it out, fasten it to my face and take a look in the mirror. I look fucking psycho.
Cool.
I head back into the bedroom, and head for Luca’s drawers. He’s a hitman—he should have a gun, right? But I don’t find one. I purse my lips. Whatever. I’ll be fine. I grab a bag, shove a few changes of clothes in it, and sling it over my shoulder. I open Luca’s nightstand and grab the keys to the Tahoe in the garage.
I pause before leaving, however.
I don’t have gas money. I don’t even have a phone.
I go back to his nightstand and sift through the contents. Sure enough, in an envelope at the bottom, are thirteen one-hundred-dollar bills. I can make it with that—and add it to the list of things I owe him.
“He really shouldn’t leave it just laying around,” I tell Major as he blocks me from the door. “I need to go.”
Major whines.
“No, I’m going,” I argue with him. “I have to do this.”
Major lets me through, but he stays on my heels, whining. I shove the cash in my bag and grab a flat bill hat off the rack beside the door. I’m not ready to be seen yet, and I know the mask will draw attention at gas stations.
I grip the keys in my left hand and enter the garage. Naturally, my heart pounds in my chest and there’s a part of me screaming to go back inside and wait like a good girl.
But I’m not a good girl.
I never have been.
Jared might have cheated, but I hated him well before it. Though, I never would’ve had him killed. Which is why we have to have a talk.
I open the driver’s side door of the Tahoe, and Major barks at me. I spin around to look at him. “What?”
He barks again.
I slump my shoulders and reach down to pet him, but as I do, he bounds past me and across the console to the passenger seat.
Oh. I can’t leave him not knowing when Luca will come back.
“I think he might hate me if I take you,” I say as I hesitate.
He’s going to hate you anyway, Major seems to say as his tail slaps the black leather seat.
“Fair enough,” I mutter, climbing into the seat. I adjust it and tug my seatbelt, hoping like hell he won’t trace me. But then again, I kind of hope he does.
I hit the garage door opener as I start the SUV, relieved to see it already has a full tank. That’ll get me at least three hundred miles farther from Luca—and closer to Jared. I back out and close the garage door. I punch in Jared’s new address, the one that Jude accidentally pulled up when he was showing me the evidence. It was right there beneath mine.
Twenty-Nine hours and seven minutes.
“Holy shit,” I mutter. “We better get going.” I punch the gas, knowing that I’m hyped enough to make the entire drive. However, if I could access my accounts…
I could fly.
I consider the consequences as I smash the gate opener, but the risk is too great. It’ll bring too many questions too soon. I’m not ready to take on that kind of attention. I want my answers first. I tear out of the driveway, though I do make sure the gate closes all the way.
“You’re going to be a good travel buddy,” I say to Major, reaching across and stroking his fur as he lays down. I turn on the radio, finding the angriest music I can. I crank the volume up and follow the GPS into the darkness of night. If I can keep up my pace, I’ll be knocking on Jared’s door by tomorrow morning.
And that only makes me drive faster.