Chapter 38
Ivy
The plane is small and private. He moves through it checking exits, assessing the pilot, and cataloguing threats. Always three steps ahead.
Except he’s not planning with me. He’s planning around me — I can feel it in my bones.
He’s already decided. I’m too fragile, too valuable, too loved to risk. So he’s building a cage around me — prettier than Malachi’s, lined with good intentions instead of glass walls, but a cage all the same. He thinks I’m blind to it. He thinks love means leaving me behind where it’s safe.
You stupid, beautiful man. Let me show you what happens when you try.
He gestures for me to board first. I let my body brush against his as I pass, holding his gaze a second too long. His jaw tightens.
Good. That’s one.
I choose a seat and cross my legs, while I watch him storing the bags with military precision. By the time we land, Killian Craw will understand that he doesn’t get to leave me.
Portugal shrinks beneath us. The Atlantic stretches out, gray and endless. He sits beside me with a tablet, mapping Silas’s territory without me. Like I’m not even here.
“You’re quiet.”
He doesn’t look up. “Thinking.”
“About?”
“Logistics.”
“Logistics.” I let the word hang. “Is that what we’re calling it now? The plan where you sneak off to face Silas alone and leave me somewhere safe like a good little doll?”
His head lifts. “Ivy —”
“Don’t.” I hold up a finger. “Don’t insult me by lying.”
“That’s not —”
“Yes it is.” I uncross my legs. “Here’s the thing, Killian. I’m not going to argue with you about it.” Relief flickers across his face. Stupid. “But I’m going to show you why it’s a terrible idea.”
The relief dies. “How exactly?”
“By reminding you what you made.” I lean forward until my face is inches from his. His scent fills my lungs — leather, metal, the underneath that’s just him. “You kidnapped a surgeon, Killian. A woman who knows exactly how to take men apart.”
“You’re trying to intimidate me?”
“I’m trying to educate you.” My hand lands on his thigh.
“About what happens when you try to leave me behind.” My hand slides higher, not on his cock, but close enough to make him shift.
“What’s the plan? Fly to Arizona, set me up in a safehouse, disappear in the night?
Sorry, Little Moth, had to go get murdered by my adoptive father. Don’t wait up.”
“That’s not —”
“You’re right. You wouldn’t leave a note. You’d just vanish.” I lean closer, my lips touching his ear. “Like a ghost.”
His hand grabs my wrist. “Careful, Ivy.”
“Or what?” I don’t pull away. “You’ll tie me up? We both know how that ends, Kill.”
The nickname lands like a blade.
I watch it hit him. His entire body goes still. His grip on my wrist tightens before he stops himself. “What did you just call me?”
“Kill.” I say it slower, tasting it. “That’s what you are, isn’t it? Not Killian. Not the man with the nice name his mother gave him before she left him at a fire station. You’re Kill. The verb. The action. The thing Silas made you into.”
“Ivy.”
“I’m not afraid of it.” I jerk my wrist free and bring his hand to my mouth.
I kiss his knuckles — wet and deliberate, never leaving his eyes.
When his breath catches, I bite hard enough to sting.
“I want it. All of it. The monster and the man. The ghost and the killer.” I bite harder. “I’m greedy. I want everything.”
I stand and walk to the back of the plane to the bench that could be a bed. He follows me because he can’t help it.
“Sit.”
He obeys without a thought and I straddle him — slow, deliberate, positioning myself over his lap. I feel him harden beneath me and the pressure against my clit makes my breath catch, but I hold it.
“Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to tell you exactly what I’ll do to you if you leave me. And you’re going to listen.”
“Ivy —”
“No.” My hand covers his mouth. “I’m talking.
You’re listening.” I grind down against him.
“If you leave me — if you sneak out in the middle of the night to go die on Silas’s doorstep — I will find you.
” Another grind, but slower. “I will track you across whatever compound you’ve broken into.
I will step over the bodies you’ve left behind.
And when I find you —” I grip his jaw and force him to look at me.
“If you’re dead, Kill, I will burn the whole place to the ground.
I will drag your body out of the ashes and take you apart piece by piece. ”
His hands grip my hips so hard his knuckles go white.
“Not because I’m grieving. Because you’re mine, Kill. And no one gets to touch what’s mine. Not even death.”
I roll my hips and the friction against his cock through our clothes sends a bolt through my clit that makes my vision blur.
“I’ll keep pieces of you. Carry them with me.
Maybe I’ll add your name to the Ledger. Killian Craw.
Cause of death: his own fucking stubbornness.
Dissected by the woman who’s obsessed with him.
” The words are burning like gasoline inside me.
“You’re not allowed to die without me. You’re not allowed to leave without me. You don’t get to decide —”
His hand wraps around my throat and yanks me down. His mouth crashes into mine hard enough to bruise. The kiss is brutal. He bites my lip until he draws blood and I bite him back, the copper mixing between our tongues.
His eyes are feral. “Are you done?”
“Not even close.” I bite his lip again. “We’re just getting started.”
“You think threats are going to change my mind?” His grip tightens around my throat. “You think telling me you’ll cut me into pieces makes me less likely to protect you?”
“I think you’re missing the point, Kill.”
“Then enlighten me.”
“The point —” I grind down harder and he grits his teeth. “— is that you don’t get to protect me. I’m not your mission. I’m your fucking partner.”
He flips me onto my back, his body covering mine. My wrists are pinned above my head.
“You want to know what you are?” His voice is low and threatening.
“You’re the first thing I’ve ever been afraid to lose.
I spent my entire life with nothing that could be used against me.
” He grinds against me and I gasp. “Then you. With your scalpels and your Ledger and your goddamn gray eyes. You made me feel everything and I can’t unfeel it. ”
“So you’re going to leave me to keep me safe?”
“I’m going to kill Silas, so he never touches you.”
“You’re going to get yourself killed and leave me with nothing.”
“If Silas takes you from me, I’ll burn the world down.
But if he kills me — at least you’re still alive.
” His thumb wipes my cheek. I’m crying. I didn’t notice.
“I’d let the world burn for you, Ivy. Every building.
Every city. Every person who isn’t you. If it meant keeping you safe, I’d watch it all turn to ash and not feel a goddamn thing. ”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Probably.”
“You’re a stupid, stubborn, self-sacrificing idiot.
” I jolt up and kiss him. My hands break free and grab his face.
“You don’t get to break me and then leave before I break you.
” The words come between kisses, desperate, tasting like salt and blood.
“You made me, Killian. You don’t get to throw me away. ”
Our clothes are torn, not removed. I’m clawing his shirt off while he’s ripping mine over my head. My nails dig into his back, and his teeth sink into my throat. We’re fighting each other even as we pull each other closer.
“Is this what you wanted?” He bites the words into my breast. “Wanted me out of my mind? Feral?”
“Yes.”
“Wanted me to stop thinking about protecting you and start thinking about claiming you?”
“Yes.”
He slams into me without warning and the scream that tears from me echoes through the cabin. His hand finds my throat and his hips set a rhythm that’s not human.
“Then take it. Take all of it.”
My legs wrap around him, pulling him deeper. My nails draw blood on his shoulders and I’m biting his jaw, his ear, anything I can reach. “Harder.”
“Greedy.”
“You made me this way.”
“I know.” He slams harder. “I made you. You made me. We’re each other’s monsters.”
“Don’t you dare —” I’m gasping, losing focus. “— try to leave me.”
“I won’t.”
“Promise me.”
He stops and my body screams at the stillness.
“I promise.” He grips my face. “Together. Everything. I promise.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
“Then prove it.” I clench around him, pulling him deeper. “Prove you’re mine.”
His hand finds my throat. “You want proof?” He pulls almost all the way out. “I’ll give you proof.” Slams back in. “Every inch of you.” Thrust. “Every sound you make is mine.” Thrust.
I’m clawing his back, making sure the marks go deep. I want him to wear my scratches the way I wear his K.
“Say my name.”
“Killian —”
“Not that one.” He stops. “The other one.”
“Kill —” It comes out broken. “Kill, please.”
He slams so hard the bench moves. “Again.”
“Kill.”
“Who do you belong to?”
“You.”
“Who do I belong to?”
I grab his face and force him to look at me no matter how hard he’s fucking me. “Me. You belong to me.”
“Then when I say I’m not leaving you —” He hits something inside me that whites out my vision. “You fucking believe me.”
The orgasm rips through me like something detonating. I’m screaming, clenching around him, my nails burying so deep into his shoulders they’ll scar. He slams into me one last time and comes with a sound that’s barely human, something between my name and a curse.
I’m still pulsing around him when I whisper it. “If you break that promise…”
He presses his forehead to mine. “You’ll dissect me. I know.”
“I’ll do worse than that.”
He cups my face and kisses me softly. The tenderness after everything we just did is almost more devastating than the violence.
“I know.” His thumb traces my cheekbone. “That’s why I won’t.”