CHAPTER SEVENTEEN #2
I should have covered my ears. The most sickening sound tore through the air. And then a thump hit the ground, followed by a much heavier thump. And before I could stop the thought, I already knew that first thump was his head.
“Keep them closed.” Sebastian’s voice was much closer now.
He picked me up, and the world spun as he carried me away.
“You can open your eyes now,” he murmured.
I opened them reluctantly, not wanting to accept what had just happened. The guilt bloomed within, unfurling to every part of me. Thomas’ life was stolen because of me.
“He killed him because I didn’t listen,” I whispered.
Sebastian stopped and set me down on unstable feet. We were still somewhere within the maze. He placed his hands on either side of my face, tilting my head upwards to meet his eyes. The pitch black pierced through me.
“This is not your fault. None of this is your fault.” His voice was tight and clipped leaving no room for argument.
And he must have known I was about to argue because he spoke as I opened my mouth.
“Lives have been and will be lost, but it will never be because of you. It is only because of him. And if we did listen to him, if we did stop, he would only grow worse. More lives would be lost. There will be sacrifices to stop him.”
A warm tear fell from my eye, and before it could fall from my face, he brushed it away with his thumb. “Do you understand?” His voice softened.
I nodded slowly. My breath caught in my throat as he lowered his forehead to mine. His thumbs stroked my temples in gentle circles. A wave of calm washed through me, holding me, keeping me floating along the surface.
He slowly lifted his head and lowered it to my chest. One of his hands wrapped around the back of my neck, entangling within my hair as he closed his fist around it.
His other hand trailed down to my lower back.
He hesitated a moment before he licked the blood from my wound.
It had dripped down and seeped into my dress.
His warmth trailed up my skin, and tingles erupted all over me as he licked up every last trace of blood.
I wrapped my hands around his waist, pressing myself into him, stoking the flame that burned within my core.
I gasped as he pressed his hand into my lower back, bringing us even closer.
I felt his hard length dig into my stomach.
I lifted my feet, standing on my toes, desperate for any bit of friction.
A deep groan spilled from his throat.
He lifted his head from my chest, and his hazy eyes landed heavy over mine.
They were laced with an insatiable hunger.
Sebastian always seemed so in control, and I could see in this moment the ropes that bound him had been weathered away to a thin thread.
And I wanted it to snap. For some twisted reason, some part of me that I couldn’t face or question now, some hidden deranged piece of me, wanted him to lose control.
I wanted to run.
To trigger that part of him, the unleashed predator.
But as the shouts from the Society trickled through my daze, I figured now was certainly not the right time for this.
“We should go back,” I whispered.
He nodded once, taking my hand and pressing one slow kiss into my palm, not once breaking eye contact. His gaze held me within a vise that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to break away from. And for the first time in a long while, I felt relieved.
“Charlotte!”
I startled at my name. James called for me again, his tone growing more panicked.
“I’m over here!”
He practically charged through the hedge of the maze, swatting away the leaves and cursing. His eyes were wild as they fell upon me. He clutched my face in both of his hands. I couldn’t help but notice Sebastian stiffen at the action.
“Are you alright?” The last time I had seen James this intense was the night newborns attacked my carriage.
I wrapped my hands around his arms, squeezing gently. “Yes, I’m fine. It’s alright.”
He released me and a deep breath, stepping back as he wiped his hand down his face. “What the hell was that? And who was that psycho?”
Sebastian and I eyed each other quickly. It was best to pretend I didn’t know my demon.
I opened my mouth but hesitated.
“It was just a stunt to antagonize her father,” Sebastian explained.
James shook his head in disbelief, turning back to me and stepping forward. “Gray, don’t lie to me or yourself. Nothing about this was fine.”
“It’s—”
“You promised. There’s no way in hell this hasn’t gone past the threshold of being too much.” He was referring to our deal, that I came to him when it became too much.
“I ...” Lying was the binding that wove through the walls keeping me together. Holding my secrets close stifled their breaths. I couldn’t say it out loud. I didn’t want to admit that I feared I was falling apart. “He killed Thomas.”
He pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, looking at Sebastian over his shoulder. Our eyes met in silent union.
Once we pulled away, he noticed the blood on my chest. My wound had continued to bleed despite Sebastian’s previous attention.
“You’re hurt. What happened? Did he hurt you?”
“I’m not sure. It must have been from the glass. Everything happened so fast.” It was disconcerting how well I had been able to craft my lies lately.
“Come on, let’s get you to the doctor.” He took my hand and led me away. Sebastian followed.
I looked back to him, to the man I had been raised to fear, and it was becoming harder to see him as a demon.
He was the one person I didn’t have to lie to, but that didn’t keep me from doing so.
James was right. I lied to myself in all that I hid.
And I couldn’t confront what I saw when I looked at Sebastian now.