CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I opened my eyes to blue mountains and a violet sky.
I blinked a few times, feeling the heavy weight of his arm draped over my waist. His hand was tucked beneath me, fingers digging in as he clutched me tightly, as if he was afraid he’d lose me in the vast wild lands of wherever we went in the night.
Or perhaps he was afraid of losing me when he woke.
I attempted to slide out from underneath him, but he only gripped me tighter.
He shifted behind me, pressing his hand into my stomach, pushing me down onto my back as he hovered over me.
His eyes were like two pools of ink. They grew colder as he looked down at me.
For a moment he reminded me of the man I first saw at the initiation.
Unbridled. Unhinged. My father’s prized killer.
The man who looked like he wanted nothing more than to eat me alive.
I shivered under the weight of his gaze.
He raised his hand slowly and rested it atop the center of my chest, his hand heavy and warm. My heart pounded against my rib cage. He felt each beat. His brow furrowed slightly, signifying what he knew. The fear that burned through my veins.
“Why do you lie to yourself?” His eyes harbored a despondence; it flickered to the surface, weak like a dying star. What he tried to keep hidden or tried to snuff out. Hope for something better, fear for something worse.
I said he wouldn’t hurt me. Did I believe it? I wanted to. But I didn’t quite know exactly what I was afraid of. Maybe my body knew what my mind didn’t. Or maybe my body didn’t want to know what my mind knew. “I’m not lying. I’m learning.”
His hand ran up my chest, fingers gliding across my skin, up to my pulse where they stilled to find my heart still racing.
Amusement tugged at the corners of his mouth before he brought his lips to mine.
I melted into him. Our lips moved slowly.
His tongue trailed across my bottom lip, and my tongue flicked out to meet his.
He smirked before turning our kiss from sensual to ravishing.
His hand snaked around my throat, squeezing gently.
I moaned into his mouth as his erection ground into my thigh.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Oh, Sebby!” his sister singsonged, and he growled, the sound actually rumbling from his chest. “We have a visitor. One you will be most pleased to see! Come out for breakfast you two.”
His face hovered above mine for a moment. He seemed to be running calculations in his head that didn't pan out from the look of annoyance that fled across his face.
We dressed in the fashions of my world, since we would be returning after breakfast. I, in a midnight blue, flowing gown, and him, in black with a waistcoat to match me, of course.
As we entered the dining room, Sebastian stiffened beside me. His hand tightened around my arm as he stopped abruptly. I looked up to him. His face was blank as usual but tense, and his eyes narrowed with an emotion I couldn’t quite place.
I followed his eyes to the beautiful woman floating over to us, her smile warm as her eyes never left Sebastian’s.
He didn’t move an inch as she stopped before us.
She looked so similar to Queen Sindri, or more so, Queen Sindri looked similar to this woman.
Cascading black hair, tanned skin, but she was older, like . ..
“Mother,” he spoke in a detached voice.
Queen Sindri and Fela were practically at the edge of their seats watching us with unwavering focus.
“Sebby.” Her voice was light and tender.
I winced at his ironclad grip that was becoming bruising.
Her hazel eyes flicked to me as Sebastian’s did the same, just in time to see the pain flit across my face.
His eyes widened slightly with chagrin that came in so swiftly, like rain pounding blackened pavement.
His grip loosened immediately, but he didn’t remove his hand, his thumb moving along my bare skin in soothing circles.
Her soft gaze didn’t leave me. “I came to see the woman who has stolen my sons’ hearts.”
I froze. Hearts. Plural. What was that supposed to mean?
Her eyes moved back to Sebastian. They focused on a distant scene, as if he was at the other end of a stretching valley. “And it’s been far too long.”
“You must be Charlotte.” She took one of my hands in both of hers, glancing down at the engagement ring on my finger, and my heart stuttered as I feared she could see right through it. If she were aware of the facade, she did not show it as she smiled. “I’m delighted to meet you.”
“Charlotte, this is my mother Evangeline.” His tone tightened around mother.
I smiled back at her. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
We all settled in at the dining table. At Sebastian’s unfaltering rigidness, I safely assumed he was upset with his mother. From what he told me, I gathered the last time he saw her could have been when she fled the night of the coup.
“My deepest apologies for Alaric’s behavior.
He has always been a bit ... excessive.” She winced at the word, seeming to come up empty on alternatives.
“I love Alaric like a son. I attempted to raise him like one too, despite my late husband’s protests.
It was only right after what happened.” Her eyes grew distant, her perpetual smile faltering.
“But I always knew he was far from here, his mind in other places. I just couldn’t get him to come back.
I see that now as I’ve learned of what he’s done in your world, the many lives he has taken, the many he will take.
” I wondered how she knew so much, but Sebastian had alluded to her ability to obtain information.
“You said I had stolen your sons’ hearts. Do you really believe I stole Alaric’s heart? I find it hard to believe he has one.” Those last words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Queen Sindri and Fela’s eyes clashed with a wince as they met at the same time.
She smiled warmly. “He had love taken from him in the worst way. He has never been able to grasp the concept quite right. I can see why he was drawn to you.” She tilted her head in appraisal.
I had never heard those words directed towards me in my life.
The thawing of that part of my heart was almost painful, to be admired.
“He has always been a bit strange. Being driven by revenge will do that to you. But the thing about revenge, especially one with a long reign, it’s never quite as satisfying once it’s obtained, leading to the quest for more, and more, and more.
Until all sight is lost. There isn’t much sense to his actions, but if he could love you, maybe he could regain some sense back. ”
Was she suggesting that he should love me?
With my betrothed, her son, at my side. If she actually did see through our facade, and she didn’t believe in our betrothal, what was she really suggesting?
A chill snaked around my spine. I glanced up at Sebastian, and he looked back down at me.
His eyes seemed almost sympathetic, as if he were considering her words.
What the hell was happening? Before I could question it, his hand came down firmly on my upper thigh, squeezing tightly. A claiming.
I let out a breath of relief, which surprised me, further cementing the reality that I wasn’t quite ready to face. What I felt the moment he had tried to pull away last night, that I was falling for him.
His mother tracked the quick exchange between us and understood perfectly. “But I see there is already a bond forming between you two.” She smiled.
Sebastian snapped his gaze back to her. His eyes clashed with hers like cold iron meeting molten gold. “What happened?” A simple question loaded with grief.
She sighed, her serenity faltering for the first time.
“Oh, Sebby.” His grip tightened on my leg.
Now I was beginning to see that he despised the name because of the woman who had given it to him.
The woman who had clearly hurt him deeply.
I placed my hand lightly on top of his, and he relaxed immediately.
A bit of pride fled through me at being able to subdue the giant wall of death that was Sebastian.
“I wanted so badly for you to know a loving family, with parents who were in love with each other. I kept up the facade while you and your sister were young, that we were happy. But our marriage was political, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never capture your father’s full attention.
And there came a point where I just couldn’t try anymore.
“I knew what your father had been up to. He was not a good man. And when I found out Alaric was working with the rebels ...” At Sebastian’s utter stillness, he must not have known that she knew.
“I helped him.” My head snapped to Queen Sindri at her gasp.
Her eyes glittered with tears. Her mother gave her a weak smile that still held its warmth.
“Your father was nearing a path of no return.
He spoke of genocide, and these musings were becoming reality. The power got to his head.
“Alaric arranged for my escape during the coup. Because it’s customary to execute the queen along with the king, I had to go into hiding.
I didn’t think I’d ever be able to come back.
It’s also customary to execute any heirs.
” The tears rimming Queen Sindri’s eyes finally spilled over, trailing shining paths down her face.
“I helped Alaric with the coup under one condition: you two would remain alive. They would not have had a successful coup without me, so they agreed. Plus, the rebels had confidence that either of you would be a far better ruler than your father, and Alaric assured them of that.”
“So, Alaric ensured their survival and helped them succeed the throne?” I had always assumed that he despised them all, that he didn’t have a good bone in his body. “But his aim is to rule Kilthorne. Why not just take power of Svealin during the coup?”
“He never felt quite at home in Svealin or all of Dreigo for that matter.”
I supposed we had that in common. My world seemed to be set on driving me out too.
She turned to Queen Sindri. “I am so proud of what you have done. You have led this kingdom down brighter paths. Both of you have. I will forever be sorry for the time we have lost. I couldn’t risk sending out any form of communication until I was sure the rebels lost interest in me.
Alaric ensured your survival, but the rebels drew a line when it came to me.
But when I heard you brought home your betrothed, I just couldn’t stay away any longer.
I didn’t want to miss anything else.” Her growing smile turned to me.
Sebastian began to relax slightly, and I wondered if this entire time he thought she had just fled without a goodbye, that she abandoned them and left them to the rebels.
She looked back to him. “I know it may take time for you to accept me back, but I want to be here for you.”
He nodded once and stood as if wrapping up a business meeting. He had held on to my arm forcing me to stand as well. “We have to be on our way now.”
She gave a somber smile. Her previous joyful exterior developed a haze. “I’ll see you both soon.” It was more of a hopeful declaration.
Upon saying our goodbyes to Queen Sindri and Fela, the former who insisted on shoving pistachio cream cakes into my bag for the journey, we were on our way to the portal.
We walked most of the way in silence, a silence heavy with the weight of my unspoken questions. As we neared closer to the portal, I just couldn't help myself. “How long has it been since you last saw your mother?”
He grew rigid again, and I wondered if I shouldn’t have pried. “Twenty-six years.”
My mouth hung slightly open at that, and I didn’t know what to say. But I understood his rigidity, twenty-six years of believing your mother had just abandoned you would do that. I was surprised as he continued.
“I shouldn’t be upset with her. I knew the rebels wanted to kill her too.”
“But you are upset with her?”
He clenched his jaw, shaking his head once. “She could have come back sooner. We eased tensions with the rebels quickly after the coup. She just didn’t want to face Svealin and all it reminded her of, and we weren’t enough for her to come back.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. She knew you both would be safe. And who’s to say the rebels wouldn’t have honored you and gone after her anyway. But she’s here now. And I have a feeling she’ll wait for you for as long as it takes.”
He looked at me with a hint of amusement splashed across his blank face.
“Alaric ensured your safety,” I said with a frown. What should be admired. It was noble. Honorable. But for Alaric it was unsettling, and the look in Sebastian’s eyes told me he felt it too.
It’s easy when evil remains evil. But when it starts to shift into something different, especially when it’s shifting towards something good, then all becomes muddled. What is there to do with evil then? Wait it out and hope it transforms or extinguish it before it reverts back to baseline.
“Alaric has always been calculated. Despite what he does, every action is for himself and himself alone.”
* * *
Traveling back through the portal was just as unsettling as it was the first time.
We stopped off at Sebastian’s townhouse for him to change back into his Society uniform, and we parted once we got to the manor.
He went off to join my father in his office for Society matters, and I went off to find Olivia.
I found her in one of the sitting rooms with Edward.
I paused just before the open threshold.
Pinpricks spread across my face. The warmth fled my blood, leaving my skin ice-cold.