CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Pari was lost in all the possible explanations. A cavernous distance sat cold between us, and it made my skin itch. The thought of losing her a gaping maw above my head threatening to descend at any moment.
Sebastian stepped forward, into me, with his firm chest flush against my back.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, an obvious stake of claim.
It dawned on me then. He thought she would attack me.
It was the law after all. Any discovered vampire must be executed.
And if she didn’t think I myself was a vampire, to be fed on was just as bad.
But she was frozen. A riot of emotions fled across her face. She fought with the worst ones. The worst possibilities. She didn’t want to believe it.
I turned to Sebastian. “Give us a moment, please.”
He looked at me in disbelief, as if I had proposed the dumbest idea to ever exist in the entire history of existence itself. Maybe it was.
“It will be okay.” I hoped.
The words clearly did not quell his doubts. “I’ll be right outside.” He was talking to both of us, but his eyes were heavily upon her.
The soft click of the door snapped the tension between us. She seemed to come back to the surface. I stepped forward slowly. She didn’t flinch, didn’t reel back.
“Did he ... did Sebastian—”
“He didn’t do this.” Though he had certainly done a lot, he did not do this.
I could have told her I was attacked by a vampire, and Sebastian saved me.
But the wound on my neck was already healing, likely before her eyes.
And to be bit was seen as a contamination.
My life was already over in her eyes, so I told her everything.
The weight that lifted off my body was enough to send uncontrollable sobs racking through me.
She was crying too at the end of it. Her hands pressed tightly over her mouth as if she could hold it all in. I sat beside her on the bed now.
When we finally caught our breath, her voice was weak and raspy. “You’re a vampire?”
I nodded.
She looked me over, examining me. “But you don’t seem so different.”
“I don’t really feel all too different.”
“But newborns ... they’re feral. They’re dangerous.”
“Sebastian said how they’re raised can dictate their behavior.”
“And he ... turned ...”
I nodded.
“Because that other ...”
“Alaric.”
“He would have?”
“Yes.”
“And now you’re both bonded ...”
I nodded again as she grasped for all the pieces, desperately trying to put it all together.
“And the vampires, they’re not demons?” She asked the question I still fought with even after everything. Lifelong beliefs run deep, leaving echoes behind even after attempts to dig it all out.
“With how Alaric is and how he’s taught his newborns to behave, I can see how we had thought that. But no, they are just from another world, just like us. Though they are different, we appear different to them too.”
“And you’ve been to their world?”
I nodded.
“What was it like?”
“It’s beautiful.” I smiled. “Like a dreamland.”
She sat there for a long moment staring blankly at a spot on the wall, until she finally let out a long sigh. “Oh, Charlotte, what have we done?” she whispered.
And I knew what she was grappling with, the same thing that swept me under like a rogue wave. She saw the life in me. She saw the humanity in the demons, who we were taught to fear and execute. She saw herself in me. And once you saw it, you couldn’t look away.
“All of those newborns.” Her voice broke on a suppressed cry.
“Alaric’s newborns are trained soldiers. They follow his every command. But they were once human, and their lives were taken, which is why we have to stop him.”
“But your father, he doesn’t know—”
“Everything I told you must stay between us. Trust me, Pari. And I need to trust you.” Though Pari understood and seemed to be taking it well, I had a feeling Father would not. He was in control. He was the type to not act unless he came upon the decision himself.
She paused a moment. Her eyes warmed on me. “Of course you can trust me.” She hesitated before lifting her arms, and I ignored the pang that ate through my chest at that as I fell into her with a tight hug.
What she knew now was treasonous, and if she didn’t act against it, she would be a traitor. I never wanted her to know because I didn’t want her to have to make this decision.
When we broke away, we held on to each other’s hands. “I’m so sorry, Pari. I never meant for you to find out. I never wanted to put you in this position.”
“Nonsense, Charlotte. I wish you had told me earlier.”
“To hold this sort of information puts your life at risk.”
“If your life is at risk, then mine will be too. I can’t let you do this alone.”
* * *
I assured Sebastian I would be okay with Pari as she spent the night, but he didn’t seem too convinced. He took the guest bedroom across the hall. Before I left him for the night, he held me close, one hand at my lower back, the other cradling the nape of my neck.
“What do you feel?” His ebony eyes looked tortured.
“It feels wrong, like the fabric of fate has been shredded and hastily stitched together in all the wrong places. And it hurts.” The bond wanted me close to Alaric, but it also knew it was rejected.
“I’m so sorry you will have to live with this pain.” He searched my eyes as if he could weed it out.
“Maybe we could find a way to sever it.”
I could tell he didn’t want to stomp out my hope by the look on his face. “We can try.”
He held me closer, and I rested my face on his chest, breathing him in.
Amber and smoke. Warmth and mystery. The energy between us hummed.
It was almost enough to ease the ache of the other bond, the one that would remain eternally starved.
The longer he held me, the more certain I was that this pain would become a distant whisper.
And as odd as it sounded, I was content to take that with me, to let that piece of Alaric live within me, to let he who had nothing have something.
I hoped that little piece of me within him would unfurl and reach out, guide him to where he could find everything.