CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
I shouldn’t have been surprised that he had a wardrobe filled with gowns exactly my size.
The longer I stared at them, the sharper the bitter taste in my mouth became.
I twirled the ring on my finger with my thumb, trying desperately to ignore the pain in my chest. Sebastian knew.
I felt it the moment the pure, unbridled anguish cut through me.
It took everything I had to move one foot after the other.
I considered staying in my blood-soaked gown, but though I deserved it, I couldn’t stand to don the blood spilled in my name any longer.
It was well into the night now. His house of horrors was oddly quiet, despite the hundreds of newborns trickling back in.
We were on the top floor of four stories and in a private wing far off from everyone else.
Alaric left me to my room. I knew I wouldn’t find sleep tonight, but I hoped he would, and I had to be there when he did.
The only chance I had against him was catching him off guard.
I bathed until the water turned cold and put on a cream-colored nightgown that reached my ankles. Once I was before his bedroom door, I paused a moment, finding the will to lift my hand.
“Come in, Charlotte.” His voice bled through the door like the devil’s caress.
I reluctantly pushed open the door, my back pressed against it as I closed it.
The cold surface seeped through the thin linen of my gown.
I stayed there for a moment taking in the room of the man who had haunted me for a year.
The walls were painted a deep burgundy, and the ceiling was a dark stained wood engraved with elaborate crown moldings.
The grand fireplace before the bed illuminated the room with a soft glow. And then there was him.
He sat up in the massive bed, his back resting against the intricately carved wooden headboard. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. My eyes caught on his tanned skin, his sculpted chest, and then his arrogant smirk.
Each step towards his bed was like trudging through mud. There was a wrongness to it, as if I were dropped into another life.
I lifted the covers, but before I slipped in, I eyed him. “Don’t get any ideas.”
His eyes sparkled with amusement. “To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?”
As I settled in beside him, I hoped he was wearing something beneath the covers.
“If I’m to be your queen, we should get comfortable with each other, shouldn’t we?”
His eyes narrowed. “I didn’t expect you to warm up to me so soon.”
“There’s no time like the present.” Perhaps I shouldn’t have tried to smile, even I didn’t believe the gesture.
He moved so swiftly I had no time to react. He gripped the hem of my nightgown at my ankle, dragged it up to my thigh and placed his hand over the obsidian dagger strapped there.
“Hoping to kill me in my sleep, darling?” His playful smirk certainly did not meet his eyes, which roiled with malice.
A breath wrung from my lungs as he unsheathed the dagger, sliding the cool blade against my skin, severing the leather garter. He tossed the scrap aside. I inhaled sharply as he pressed the sharp tip into the scar at the base of my neck, leaning in so closely his face hovered above mine.
“You’ll have to be much sneakier than that, sweet dove.
” He paused, tilting his head slightly. “Or perhaps you’re not a sweet dove but a cunning little fox.
I’ve waited years for you to finally lift a blade with the unwavering intent to strike.
So promise me, fox, when you aim to strike, don’t miss. ”
“Years?” I whispered.
His lips tilted up into a slow smile that threatened a gradual decimation.
“How long have you ...” My thought trailed off as I noticed the silver crescent at the base of his throat.
It was similar to mine. I raised my hand to it, tracing the raised flesh lightly with my fingers.
His eyes fluttered closed for a second before burning into me once more.
I let my fingers wander down to his chest, pressing my hand flush against his skin.
“Why are you so cold?”
I held his gaze. Dark and light flicked on and off in his eyes like fireflies. He picked up a strand of my hair, twirling it around his finger, sending sparks washing through me. When he spoke, it was so quiet I could barely make out the words. “Everything comes at a price.”
“And was it worth it?” I whispered.
Gold melded into hazel, swirling with a cacophony of emotions. He placed his hand at the side of my face. I shivered from the cold. He frowned slightly, dragging his hand down my neck, across my chest, settling over my heart. “No.”
An unbearable ache radiated from him through the line of the bond I rejected. A muffled rapping, begging to get in. I let out a breath. “Won’t you stop?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
He removed the dagger from my throat, placing it atop his nightstand, and he wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck, squeezing lightly.
His nose brushed along my throat as he leaned in, inhaling deeply, and then he pressed a light kiss to my scar.
He spoke against my skin, sending a cool breath skittering across my warmth.
“Because I have already lost everything, and there are some things you don’t come back from. ”
And I felt the sharp edges of all that had shattered within him.
I nearly grazed my finger along the roughness, content to bleed.
A part of myself desperate to feel his pain.
To feel what kept him down, what he accepted.
I wanted to reach inside him and uproot what had been long cemented, defy what he deemed eternal. And I was scared to look.
Because with the tracking spell, I could see through his eyes.
And through the soulmate bond, I could feel the deepest parts of him, parts he would never share.
I had access to it all. And I pretended to miss what was so clearly there.
Warmth spilled over, trailing down my face, carving a path that would leave an invisible scar.
He tracked the tear, leaning in and licking it away, kissing each eyelid as I closed them.
* * *
I didn’t expect him to fall asleep. He definitely had no faith in me, though by the violent beating of my heart, he was right about that.
I looked at his sleeping form through the shadowed room.
The beginnings of dawn draped over his features.
He almost looked angelic. He had such a charming facade that hid what lurked beneath.
The weight of decision warred within me, leaving a path of destruction as it ravaged every corner.
I sat up slowly, keeping my eyes on him the entire time.
The dagger was still on his nightstand. I rose to my knees beside him, searching his face for the slightest whisper of movement.
My thighs burned as I leaned over him. I cringed as the metal scraped across the wooden surface.
My fingertips barely reached, and I cursed internally when I nearly dropped it.
As soon as I had a firm hold on the hilt, I gritted my teeth and leaned back, examining his face once more.
Once I had the dagger positioned right over his heart, I knew I couldn’t do it.
But his eyes snapped open before I could draw back.
A multitude of emotions rose to the surface.
They were so tangled that I couldn’t separate the threads, but I managed to grab hold of one, the one that tore my heart apart. Surprise.
A resounding crash split the still morning air. The door flew open. Sebastian stood drenched in blood as if he had just emerged from a crimson mist.