CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Warmth fell from my face to the parchment, smudging the ink.
The black swirling within the liquid cut through the crisp lines, falling off the page like blackened tears, taking his words with their descent.
My throat ached with the unending sobs I wanted to succumb to.
Sebastian slid his hand from my shoulder to my throat, squeezing lightly.
The action oddly comforting. I grounded myself with his touch, taking a breath before thumbing through the other letters.
I opened them with shaky hands. It was correspondence between Alaric and my father going back twenty-six years. The last letter was right before the attack on the manor. It was my father’s response to Alaric reminding him of his place, and he did not take it well.
Once I set the letters down on the desk, Sebastian scooped me up in his arms and held me in his lap as he sat on the bed. I stared at a blank spot on the wall for a moment.
“My father,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry, mannyenska.” He pressed a kiss to my temple.
“I need to get to him before the king.”
It felt like holding a breath. I needed to see my father’s face. I needed to see what it looked like when I told him I knew. I needed to hear what he would say. I couldn’t breathe until then. I couldn’t let the blade sink in yet. As if his response would dictate how I fell apart.
My eyes fell to Alaric, the wound freshly torn once more. I looked back to Sebastian. He read my face. “I’ll take care of him.” He brushed the hair from my face, his touch a beam of light through all that fell dark within me.
We looked into each other’s eyes in silence, saying all that roiled inside us like crowding storm clouds.
I’m sorry you lost your brother.
I’m sorry you lost a part of your soul.
Word would spread of his death soon. We didn’t know who the messenger was, but they could be well on their way to the king now.
* * *
Our horses’ hooves tore through the soft earth as we made our way to the manor.
The darkened sky mourned above. A heavy veil of gray smothered the sun.
My mouth fell open at the carnage spread across the perfectly manicured lawn.
Black spots marred the green where fires once burned.
Stone laid in crumbled heaps. Gaping maws scattered about the walls, scarred from explosions.
Bodies were piled up, one pile covered in white linen, the other left exposed to rot.
My breath caught at the horrid gesture, made worse by all that I knew now.
As we entered the manor’s main hall, staff rushed about weaving through one another, some covered in blood.
Shards of reflective glass coated the marble floors from mirrors thrown to the floor, leaving behind empty, gilded frames.
Through the glass doors leading to the back of the manor, rows upon rows of injured members stretched out along the open expanse of grass.
As I took in the sight, all I had once kept hidden clawed its way to the surface, setting free an unbearable anger, a pain I hoped to never feel again.
Alaric had said that some people will create their own war to be able to possess control.
My father did this.
All the lives taken, an immeasurable loss.
Though Alaric may have been the devil, Father had let him in.
“Charlotte!” Olivia’s voice broke through the roaring in my ears.
I whirled around, breathing a sigh of relief at seeing her unharmed.
“I was so worried about you,” she cried, pausing abruptly as she took in the sight of Sebastian and me both covered in blood.
“I’m alright, Olivia.”
She crashed into me, squeezing tightly.
“We’re all alright,” I whispered, more so trying to convince myself.
Over her shoulder I spotted Mother, her cold mask barely in place, rattled by her evident shock.
Father walked in behind her. Violet half-moons sat beneath his eyes, his face hollow with a sallow tinge.
I had barely seen him in the last few months.
Given his recent correspondence with Alaric, he had known this attack was coming.
I had always viewed my father as a hard-working man.
One who was in control, and I viewed that control as safety.
He kept me safe. He kept Kilthorne safe.
Although he was not always present in my life because he was so busy, he was kind to me.
He never made me feel unwanted like Mother. I had always felt his love.
And I nearly fell into the earth as I realized I hadn’t ever known his love. And he was never safe. He tied my life to a demon.
“Did you know it was Alaric?” His name left a bitter taste on my tongue. My soul pulsed with a fresh ache.
Olivia broke away from our hug, stepping back, looking at me with confusion. I kept my eyes on Father, who only stared back blankly.
“Did you know it was Alaric who was haunting me all this time?”
He didn’t answer.
“Did you know the vampires are capable of illusions?”
Nothing.
“Did you know the exorcisms were killing me?”
His silence answered everything. I knew I could fall apart then. I knew how to break.
“Were you hoping for it? My death would tie up a loose end.”
“Arthur, what is she talking about?”
I had never expected to feel relief at Mother’s tight voice. By the look on her face, it was clear she didn’t know.
“Father,” Olivia urged, her voice wavering with the beginnings of a sob.
My anger evolved, surging beneath me. Once seeking any semblance of guilt, now out for blood.
“Did you know Sebastian is the Prince of Svealin?”
His eyes sparked with fury, and I smiled. He didn’t know. I also smiled at the reveal of his deadened expression, no longer needing to hide the monster within.
And I couldn’t suppress my grin as I spoke. “Did you know he turned me?”
His face contorted into a snarl as he lunged for me. Before he could even make it an inch, Sebastian had him pinned to the wall by the throat.
Olivia retreated to Mother’s side. Her arm draped around Olivia, holding her close. I couldn’t meet their expressions at the news.
Pari came into the room, having heard everything by the look on her face. She placed her arm around my shoulders, kissing the crown of my head as she squeezed me tightly.
“It wasn’t enough for you to be an outcast. You had to throw your life away. You had to become a monster.” The words he chose to break his silence were a monumental disappointment, one that would stay with me for the rest of my existence.
“I am what you made me.”
He scoffed. “I should have let the newborns kill you long ago.”
The hurt that slashed through flesh and fragile bone wondered why he hated me, but I knew it was not about me. He didn’t see people; he saw tools. And I was the tool that granted him power, though I could just as easily break and take it all away, just as I had.
Sebastian punched him in the face. The sickening crunch of his now broken nose elicited a shriek from Olivia. It was the first time a blatant display of violence didn’t make me sick.
I saw it then, what Alaric had been trying to show me all along. We both had someone who was supposed to love us, care for us, protect us, but they wanted to end us instead. Alaric could not fight off his demons, but I would. I’d do it for the both of us.
The main doors flew open. A half dozen guards donning royal colors filtered in. The news had traveled fast.
Alaric was dead, and Arthur Windsor brought vampires into our world.