18. Zeth
Zeth
Can we talk about us? Meet me after Chapel tomorrow. - your Rosie
Millie stomped around Mum’s room as I waited at the foot of the stairs, thumbing Amby’s signature for the twenty-sixth time since finding his note.
What did he want to say? About us . That part gave me hope, and made me nervous.
All I knew for certain was that I would go blind if I kept staring at Amby’s pretty writing, so I folded the note back up and tucked it into my inner jacket pocket for safekeeping.
Having something of his felt nice, even if Amby wanted to tell me we needed to be just friends.
Millie finally clopped her way down the stairs in her lovely, white, lace dress with a matching bonnet. She looked pretty. I hardly recognized her as my playful sister at all, if not for the mischievous grin.
“There’s my Mils. You took your sweet time.”
She puckered her lips and led us to the front door. “Because I don’t want to go to Chapel. I think you gave me a piggyback ride the last time we went.”
That wasn’t far off the mark. She might have been seven when we stopped attending. One of the wealthy girls made fun of Millie for wearing the brat’s cast-off clothes. No need to remind Millie of that embarrassment as I locked the door.
“I barely remember what to do,” she huffed. Then she hopped off the stoop. “Sit, stand, sing?”
“Those are the basics, and we should go because we’re proper, upstanding citizens of Everdeen.”
“Is that what we are?”
I chuckled at her dubious expression and joined her on the sidewalk. “Aye, at least we can pretend we’re proper, eh?”
She nodded saucily and placed her arm around mine to pull me forward with a tilt of her bonnet. “Help me walk, before people think you’re rude for forcing your injured sister to join you today.”
“Your ankle is healed,” I reminded her while holding her arm against my side, happy for the company. “But you could certainly use some prayers.”
She clicked her tongue and muttered, “Pish posh.”
That didn’t sound like my sister. Maybe she learned the fancy saying from Anna or Emiline.
She had been spending time with them both lately.
I never thought my unconventional sister would enjoy the company of Everdeen’s elite, but here we were.
I shook my head at Millie as we strolled in the sunshine through the main thoroughfare behind other service goers.
Arriving a little late meant we could slip into a back pew and bide our time unnoticed until I could meet Amby after the service.
I didn’t want to see Anna there, though I was certain she attended Chapel weekly. She seemed the type who kept her family pew warm. All the elite families had reserved seats up front to show off their status. I thought about sitting as Anna’s husband there, and my chest constricted with pain.
Marriage to Anna felt like a punishment after spending time with Amby again. He made me ache in a good way every time he glanced at me with those enticing brown eyes. He was the only one who saw the real me, even if his vision was a bit distorted.
What does he want to talk about? Hopefully, he didn’t regret our intimate time together in the kitchen.
I treasured that memory, so grateful for his trust while I worshipped him from my knees.
Maybe he felt the same, and now he wanted us to be secret lovers.
He did sign the note Rosie . I didn’t know why else he would sign it so intimately.
I would accept a love affair. I decided that around the tenth time I read his note.
Of course I would rather choose Amby as my spouse, but life was not that kind.
He was not going to marry me. I didn’t fit into his plan to marry a woman.
Or rather, his father’s plan. I was a variable in the Somerset equation.
Having an affair with Amby meant I could wedge my way into his heart as a secret lover.
If that was our only chance to be together, then I would take it.
Anything, to keep my Rosie close. I missed him this past week.
Millie was busy chatting away on my arm, and I caught the tail end of her saying, “I want to make a good impression, is all.”
“Who wouldn’t like you?” I assured her, feeling bad for not listening. Not long ago, she hinted that she had her cap set for someone, and I wondered again who caught her eye in town. “Is there someone you wish to impress today?”
“Maybe…” she teased. “Shall we make a bet? The first to marry, wins.”
“Heaven help me, you’re incorrigible. If this is some ruse to push me into marrying Anna faster, it won’t work. These things take time.”
“Do you think she’ll make you happy?”
“Well, that’s a question,” I hedged as I narrowed my gaze at her.
Millie regarded me seriously, and my head filled with platitudes that belonged on Anna’s embroidered pillows.
I wasn’t in the mood for that nonsense. “Marrying Anna is our quickest option for a comfortable life. For a house that doesn’t leak and a respectable position in society.
For a contented family. Those are the things that will make me happy. ”
Millie frowned. “What if Anna wants someone else?”
“That makes two of us,” I grumbled so low that the surrounding chatter and traffic covered my confession. Then I added, louder, “She must want to marry me, though. She’s been welcoming.”
“It does seem so…” Millie trailed off.
But what if Millie was right, and Anna did pine for another?
Someone she also couldn’t have. Maybe she planned on having her own affairs, and marrying me would bring her that same benefit.
That would be fine. I was conning Anna into marriage with lies about my finances while cheating on her with my old lover; it was only fair if she planned to cheat on me.
Fuck, when did I turn into a cad? Did I just hope my future wife cheated on me? What a horrid turn.
Millie pulled my hand from where it was pinching my nose. I didn’t even realize I was holding myself in like that. My whole body felt tight as Millie’s brow knitted. Then she asked, “Are you okay?”
No, I wasn’t okay. I was holding myself up while I was fucking hurt and lost. No job to support us, no parents to tell me I could do better, and no right to be anything but fine. I was heading to Chapel as if my soul wasn’t tearing in two from planning an affair. I was not okay.
I cringed inwardly but got out a weak, “I’m fine.”
Thankfully, Millie glanced away without asking anything more of me.
She looked glum. Was she upset that I hadn’t given Anna a courting kiss yet?
Maybe she was seeing how much I was dragging my feet and calling me out on it.
She was probably doubting my devotion to provide for her.
Maybe I should seek out Anna today and ask for that kiss…
No, I needed to speak with Amby first, to hear what he wanted to say about us . Then I would worry about Anna.
Needing to cross the street, Millie and I stepped out just as a peppy little motor vehicle in classy gray enamel and chrome honked its horn.
A passing wagon didn’t move fast enough to get out of the way, and the car swerved right for where Millie was about to step.
I flung my arm out in front of her, barely stopping her from getting run over.
Millie’s white ribbon fluttered against me as the damn car barreled on by.
“Fucking maniac,” I grumbled after the rich prick. We weren’t important citizens, but we weren’t trash either.
The car screeched to a halt not far up the road, too damn late, and the driver turned around in the seat.
With the roof down, I could see clearly that it was Anna.
She wore driving goggles and a crisp white hat with a big purple bow around the brim.
When she lifted her goggles, I never wanted to see anyone less.
That didn’t stop her from waving to get our attention.
“Good day, Washers. Where are you headed? Perhaps I can give you a ride.”
“It’s Anna in her car!” Millie chirped and bounced, as if my eyes weren’t working, then she shouted ahead, “We’re headed to Chapel, are you?”
When Anna nodded, Millie left me to run over to the car and rounded to the passenger side. She quickly hopped into the second seat, next to Anna.
I took my sweet time strolling over and tried to look grateful for the ride as I reached the back of her sporty car to turn a latch in the curved back.
I’d seen such things in the City and opened the car’s rumble seat.
It was nicely upholstered with plush, purple velvet, but it didn’t welcome a man who grew to over six feet.
I used the spotless chrome bumper to step up and wedge myself into place.
When Anna restarted the motor and we leapt off, I had to slap my cap onto my head or lose it.
Millie squealed happier than a pig as she and Anna swerved around the slower traffic.
They flung me this way and that, and I did my best to hold on tight.
It took effort to avoid spilling right out onto the road.
And although Anna’s car was expensive, it wasn’t meant for three. I would have preferred walking.
In moments, the tall steeples of the Chapel appeared over Main Street. Anna rounded a quick corner to park abruptly across the street.
When the engine quieted, I descended and tried to hide how my legs wobbled. Anna was a maniac. The girls both exited their comfortable compartment with more grace and joined me as I stashed the purple velvet seat neatly away. That’s when I noticed Anna’s ribbon and purple dress matched her car.
I swear to god, if this woman had a vehicle to match every outfit, I might expire from the extravagance. It wasn’t necessary. In fact, it was distasteful. Distasteful when I could barely put food on the table for my little sister to eat. Who was I fooling? I didn’t even own a table.