Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Irina
The moment Nik and I get back home, he pulls me into his arms and holds me. Just holds me.
“I’m so glad you’re safe. I was worried I’d lose you.” The vulnerability in his voice makes my throat choke up.
“I don’t think anyone has ever cared for me this much. My mom, yes, but I lost her when I was young. My dad…” I squeeze my eyes shut from the memory of killing him. That will haunt me for a long time but at least I don’t feel numb anymore. Almost losing Nikolai brought me back to life.
Nik tightens his arms around me. “I will make sure we have better security measures in place. I’ll up the guards around our house. Around my club. Anywhere we might go. We’ll always be protected from now on. I will not let any of Alexei’s friends come after us.”
“How powerful are his friends?”
“They hold a lot of territory in other parts of the country. I might have a hold over New York but they still have their own power. News will spread that Alexei is dead and he made it very public that he came after me. It won’t be hard for anyone to figure out I killed him when he goes missing.
I’ll have to think of some way out of this.
Some way to keep you safe. But right now, I just want to hold you.
I just want to know that you’re ok for now. ”
I rest my hands over his heart. His strong chest. His sheer presence.
“Nik, thank you. For always keeping me safe. I know I didn’t trust you when we first met.
But there’s no one else in this world I trust more than you.
I feel at home here.” I tap his chest. “Right here. So thank you for that. Truly.”
“And I trust you more than anyone. You threw yourself at Alexei to help save my life. Most people wouldn’t do that. Hell, some of my closest friends would hesitate. Maksim is loyal but even he’d prioritize his own safety over mine. But not you. You saved my life, Irina. Thank you.”
“I’m your wife. That’s what wives do for their husbands.
For the men they –,” I stop myself from saying love.
I’m not sure why though. After everything Nik and I have been through, I should be able to say it.
But I still hesitate because to tell him I love him is the final act of giving myself over to Nik.
Once I do that, I’ll never be out of this life again. Is that something I’m ready for?
Nik gives me a knowing look like he understands right before he captures my lips in a heated kiss. I’m thankful for that. There’s a passion between us – a love – but neither one of us has to say it yet. We can just be together.
He picks me up in his arms and carries me to our bedroom and sets me down lovingly on the bed.
I never knew a mafia man like him could be so gentle but Nik has proven me wrong about mafia men so many times.
He may be shrouded in darkness but he has a kindness to him that warms my heart.
He’s not evil. He’s not good. He’s just… human.
And I know I love him for that.
He stands at the foot of the bed, gazing down at me. “I could get used to looking at you like this.”
I need him. I know it more than I’ve known anything in this world. It’s powerful and all-consuming and I don’t want to fight it.
I sit up and grab his shirt, bringing him down towards me. Our lips meld together with passion. It’s hot and sexy and a little messy and it’s perfect.
I unbutton Nik’s shirt and push it off him, running my hands along his chest. He sighs and kisses me deeper.
Feeling bold and wanting to be in control, I unbuckle his pants and place my hand in between his underwear so I can grab his length.
He hisses and it makes me smile knowing I have some control over a powerful man like him.
I push his pants and underwear down, exposing his naked body to me. His cock is always erect. That’s how much he wants me.
Gazing up at him, I lower my head to his length. My lips wrap around his tip. The groan that escapes Nik’s voice is like nothing I’ve ever heard before.
I’ve never done this but it’s not hard to figure out. Nik keeps his hips still as I run my tongue along his erection, tasting him, getting used to him in my mouth. He’s shown me pleasure so many times with his mouth. It’s only fair I return the favor, even if my heart is beating fast from nerves.
Nik strokes the back of my head, caressing me. Telling me he appreciates what I’m doing to him.
I can’t take him far into my mouth as he’s too big but he doesn’t make me feel bad for it. Only shows how much he likes what I’m doing to him.
But then, he suddenly pulls back and grabs my hips, pushing me to the bed. “I want my cock inside of you when I come.”
With a gasp, I nod. Nik practically rips my dress right off me. My bra and underwear are just flimsy pieces of material that are in his way. When I’m fully naked, he lowers his body over mine.
Our eyes lock. Our lips hover against each other’s. Our bodies are pressed so tightly together, not even a piece of paper could get between us.
And that’s when he brings his hips forward and enters into me. We both moan together.
My legs lock around his waist and my hands grip his back, leaving indents in his skin. Nik hisses as he kisses me with all of his might. I think I might die from the pleasure of it all but I’d die happily.
Nik keeps his pace steady as he thrusts his cock into me. I can feel every inch of his body against mine. It’s perfect.
I raise my hips to match his pace, wanting us to be closer. Never wanting us to be apart from each other again.
In one smooth motion, Nik sits up and brings me with him so I’m seated on his lap. I wrap my arms around his back. I will not let any space get between us. Not tonight.
He grabs my hips and brings them down, entering me even deeper. I moan. It all feels too good. Too much. I can barely think.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs against my throat when I drop my head back.
“That’s it, baby. Feel my cock deep inside of you.
” His dirty words only make me moan louder.
His power turns me on like nothing ever has but it’s his care and respect for me that makes me love him.
I have to tell him, I realize. I can’t keep it back forever.
Nik is my future. The only option is to give myself fully to him.
“Nik,” I moan, rocking my hips back and forth faster. More frantic. Almost panicked. Nik steadies my pace, silently telling me he’s got me. That he’ll always have me.
He places me onto my back again and truly claims me. His thrusts are powerful and strong, without mercy, but it’s because he knows I can handle it. I can handle a lot, I’ve discovered about myself.
“You make me so hard,” he grits out. He’s trying to hold back, I realize. He’s trying to let me find my release first. It only makes me love him more.
I moan when he sinks into me deeper.
“Fuck, baby. I love hearing you moan. Scream my name when you come for me. I need to hear it.”
“Nik,” I gasp out, clutching his strong arms.
“Come for me, Irina. Now, baby. Now.”
His command is just what I need to find my release.
“Nik,” I moan for him as I come, shuddering and trembling.
It only takes him one more thrust into me before he comes next. His breath tickles my neck when he rests his face there. I grab onto his back tighter, never wanting to let him go.
“You need to know,” I say into his ear. “I love you. I really do.”
He lifts his head to meet my eyes. “I’ve loved you for a long time now, baby.”
“Really?” I have to blink back to the tears that threaten to spill out.
“Yes. You have me, Irina. In a way no one else ever has before. You’re it for me.”
“And you’re it for me.”
“Good.” His eyes darken. “Because you know I’m never letting you go.”
“I know. And I don’t want you to let me go. I know I’m safe with you, even if your life puts us both in danger. It’s not ideal but it’s what I need. I need to be with you. There’s no one else I want to be with.”
He slips out of me. I can’t help but wince slightly. Nik has taken me hard a few times now. I think it will always be that way and yet, I like it. I like his darkness mixed with his light.
It’s a heady combination.
He slips his hand between my legs, cupping me. I gasp. I’m so tender and sore but it also feels so good. “Feel my cum inside of you. I want to know that I’ve claimed every part of you.”
I gasp when he runs his fingers along my sensitive nub. My hips rise up to meet his hand. “I’m too sore.”
“This is to make you feel good, baby. To thank you for saving my life.” He flicks and rubs my clit perfectly. “I know you can come for me again.”
My legs clamp down on his forearm, keeping him in place. His fingers are like magic as they run over my nub. He knows just how to touch me to make me wild.
I arch my back and moan as he pleasures me with his hand. Nik gazes down at me with lust and darkness… but also with love. With gentleness.
“Nik,” I gasp out when my second orgasm hits me. It’s not as powerful as my first but it’s just as good. Just as perfect.
“God, baby. I love you. Now that I’ve said it, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop.”
“I love you too. I don’t think I can stop either.”
He chuckles as he draws me into his arms and we lay on the bed together. Our naked bodies sweaty. Spent but worth it. We survived death together. Nothing can get between us ever again.
“You make me happy,” I admit.
“Even though I scared you at first?”
“You really did but that was just because I didn’t know you. But you’ve been honest with me about who you are. My father never was. You were telling me exactly who you are from the beginning. I just had to listen.”
“I don’t blame you for being scared at first. I know it was a scary situation you were in. Your father made it hard for you to trust anyone.”
“I’m glad you got through to me,” I say, tracing my fingers absentmindedly along his chest. “I’m glad we’re here now.”
He tightens his hold on me, keeping me safe. “Me too. I may not know what will happen. If Alexei’s friends will come for us or not. But I do know that I’ll fight to keep you safe. Every day that I’m alive.”
I’ve never felt happier in my entire life.