Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Natalia
My first day at the hospital goes fast. Everyone is surprised to learn that I’m married, but they’re all cheerful about it, congratulating me.
Except for Pete Ellison, who still seems to think I’m fair game.
I make a show of my ring, but that doesn’t seem to dismay him too much.
He must think he’s Casanova. No one has had the chance to disabuse him of that.
Whatever the case, I ignore him and get on with work.
I have a heavy schedule during my residency to get through before I graduate with my forensic psychiatry specialization.
Juggling my new marriage, my residency, and whatever it is the FBI wants me to do will be a challenge.
I don’t think I’ll have much time for social life beyond that.
After I’m finished for the day, I drop by the bar and say hello to Gramps. As usual, his smiling face greets me as I enter the bar’s dim interior.
“There she is,” he says, wiping the countertop. “The new bride. How was your week off? Ready for the next few months of your residency and your marriage?”
I laugh and sit at the bar in front of him. “It’s going to be exhausting,” I say. “But I’m up for it. If med school taught me anything, it’s that I can take a whole lot of torture and still survive.”
“That’s right,” he says and puts his cloth away. “Can I get you anything to drink, or is this just a quick stop to say hello?”
“Just a quick stop,” I reply. “I have to get home and get some sleep. We had a nice week on Fire Island and are rested up, but it’s back to the old grind for both of us.”
He frowns. “What’s up with the case? Any developments?”
“I guess I’ll find out the next time I talk to my handler.”
He shrugs. “Well, I hope it all works out for you, and this is over soon, so you can have an actual life free from them.”
I sigh heavily. “Do you think I’ll ever be free of it? “
“If Harrison can get out from under the mafia’s grip and go legit, maybe then you two can have a life. That is, once you’re done with your residency and have a real position.”
“That’s our only goal,” I say. “Well, I have to go.” I stand up. “I just wanted to come by and let you know we’re back and that everything’s going OK.”
“Thanks,” he says and comes around the bar.
He gives me a big hug and a kiss on both cheeks.
“You and your brother are the only family I have left. I want you to know you can come to me with anything at any time. I know the life. I understand how hard it is and how much it takes from you. You tell that to Harrison. The same applies to him. I’m always here, and my ears are always available. ”
I hug him again. “Thanks, Gramps. “
I leave the bar and take the subway to our apartment. I need sleep if I'm going to keep up with the demanding schedule of a forensic psychiatry residency. Not to mention being a new wife to a very desirable husband and being a tool used by the FBI to bring down the Russian mafia.
On the way back home, I look at my calendar and am surprised to notice that my period is late.
By a whole week.
That isn’t normal. While my schedule is so busy, I haven’t paid attention to my cycles.
Plus, I’ve been so absorbed in my life with Harrison that I didn’t even think about them.
I had thought I had already ovulated because I had pain in my side, and so we could have sex without protection.
I calculated it back from the time of my pain and was certain we were safe, but I wasn’t using any form of birth control besides condoms. At least we use them during my fertile week.
If my cycle was off for some reason, maybe due to stress, it could screw up my calculations.
I stop at a drugstore and pick up a pregnancy test, determined to take it once I’m back home.
Now is not the time for a pregnancy. I’ve barely been married for a week.
The ride back to the apartment in Manhattan is now not as enjoyable as it usually is.
I just can’t be pregnant. I can’t be. It’s not that I don’t want a child, but given everything, a baby at this point will complicate everything even further.
When I get home, the apartment is empty, so I rush to the bathroom and perform the test. For the next few minutes, I chew my nails with anxiety. When I look, there it is: positive.
I’m pregnant.
My heart sinks. How could I have let that happen? The last thing we need is to worry about a baby during this very dangerous and stressful period.
I don’t want to raise a baby while Harrison is still involved with the mafia, even if he is trying to get out of it.
I also don’t want to raise a baby while I’m finishing my residency.
It’s stressful enough managing the long hours and very trying work.
As much as I love it, residency takes all my attention.
Even finding time with Harrison is a challenge, and the few hours we have every week to be alone are all I can spare.
If I am pregnant, I’ll have to take a leave of absence from my residency. There’s no way I can see doing the residency and being a new mother. It would be too much. Something has to give, and, in this case, it will have to be the residency. That will always be waiting for me when I’m ready.
New life comes first.
I put away the pregnancy test in the drawer and go out to the kitchen. The clock on the wall reads eight thirty. I wonder where Harrison is, and I check my cell. He sent a message saying he’d be home around nine. He said not to worry that he had already eaten because he knew I was going to be late.
Good.
I’ll have a nice shower, put on my nightgown, and wait for him. I’ll give him a massage, ask him about his day, and he’ll ask me about mine. Only then will I tell him that I’m pregnant.
I make some food for myself and sit down in front of the flatscreen to watch the news.
I turn to YouTube and watch some travel videos.
I feel drawn to videos about travelling around Europe.
It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years and plan to do once my residency is over.
It looks like that’s going to be put off for quite a while if I’m going to have a baby.
I rub my belly, thinking of the tiny embryo inside.
Who are you?
What will your father think?
For the next half hour, I watch videos and eat my meal of heated-up leftover pasta that I’d frozen and put away in the freezer for a night like tonight when I didn’t feel like cooking.
Finally, around nine-fifteen, I hear the door open, and Harrison walks in.
He looks tired and throws his coat over the chair in the entryway with a sigh.
“Well, I’m home.”
I get up from the sofa and go to him, slipping my arms around his neck. “Welcome back.”
We kiss, and then I pull him over to the sofa. “Tell me about your day.”
He sits down beside me and leans his head back, his eyes closed. “What a day. I spent it at O’Connor Enterprises, familiarizing Fogarty with the business. He’s going to be our new CTO while Ed is out of the country at a convention and on holiday. An extended holiday. Fully paid.”
“What?” I say in shock. “Fogerty is the new CTO? When did this happen?”
“It happened today. I was informed at the FBI headquarters that Fogerty was my new CTO. It’s his cover so he can set up a network for surveillance. They’ve got software that will trace all our business dealings. That’s how they want to get dirt on and drop off so they can take them down.”
“What does Ed think of that?”
“He was surprised, but when I gave him three different conventions to attend, one in France, one in Germany, and one in Italy, all expenses paid, exclusive hotels, he was only too happy to agree.”
I laugh. “I don’t blame him. So, what’s Fogerty like to work with?”
Harrison sighs. “He’s a cold, calculating bastard. He knows he’s got me by the balls. What can I do except cooperate with him? What can either of us do?
I shake my head and stroke his hand. “Just keep thinking that this will all soon be over. O’Connor Enterprises will be clean, and you can make it whatever you want it to be. We’ll both be free, period.”
He pulls me into his arms and kisses me. “I keep that in my head. What about you?” he asks, his expression still serious. “How was your day?
I take in a deep breath. I’m not sure whether I want to tell him about the pregnancy test just yet. He doesn’t need even more stress on top of the stress he already has.
Instead, I climb onto his lap and kiss him again, hoping to distract him and myself from all the craziness in our lives.
I hope it works.