Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Natalia
He sits beside me on the sofa and pulls me into his arms. “Natalia…”
For a moment, he has no words. Then, he kisses me, his hands on either side of my face, and I can’t hide the smile on my lips. “Oh, my God, Natalia…” he says, his voice breaking.
All he does is hold me, but when he pulls back, his eyes are wet, and he’s smiling. At the sight of his smile and his tears, my heart swells with a sense of joy that shocks me. He’s happy that I’m pregnant.
With his baby. Our baby…
When he looks deep into my eyes, I know he isn’t angry or sad. “You’re not upset?”
He pulls back, frowning. “Upset?” He wipes his eyes and laughs. “Why would you think I’d be upset. Oh, my God, Natalia. Our baby…”
He pulls me back into his arms, and we kiss once more, this time more deeply, more passionately on my part. He’s happy…
When the kiss breaks, I’m in tears. “I was so afraid you’d be mad.”
“Why? We talked about this. We want a family. Both of us missed out on a stable, loving family when we were growing up. A stable, loving family for our children. That’s what we both said, remember?”
I nod and wipe my eyes, smiling through my tears. “I remember. But I was afraid you were saying those things to make me happy.”
“I said those things to make myself happy. I want a strong, stable, warm, loving family for our children, just like you. We both missed out on that while we were growing up, and there’s nothing I want more than to have that for us, and for our children.”
“But can we?” I say, thinking about our lives and all the complications we’ll face raising a baby. “Look where we are and what we are — assets for the FBI, working to bring down a Mafia crime family. How can that be stable? What if—”
“Shhh,” he says and presses a finger against my lips to stop me. “No what ifs. We are going to make this work, no matter what. We’re both strong. We both want this. We’ll make it work.”
He kisses me again, and I let him pull me back into his embrace.
For a few moments of pure bliss, we hold onto each other, my head resting on his strong shoulder, the noise of the street coming in from the window the only sound.
He’s happy. He wants this baby. Maybe after all, we will be all right. Maybe, even good. I exhale a long sigh and snuggle deeper into his arms.
“You should go to bed,” he says and strokes my hair. “You have an early shift tomorrow.”
“I know,” I say and wipe my eyes again, a smile still on my face. “I was so worried about this that I couldn’t sleep. But now I can.”
“Good,” he says, standing up and taking my hand, so that I stand beside him. “Go and sleep.” He kisses me once more. “You need it. I’ll be there in a few minutes. I have a few things to do before I come to bed.”
“Okay.” I leave him in the living room, but see him heading to the kitchen, probably for a glass of water, before he does his nightly routine.
I go to our bedroom and leave the door open so I can watch the stairway, then after a quick trip to the bathroom, I lie down on my side of the bed and wait.
Out of curiosity, I get up from the bed and stand at the top of the stairs, listening.
I can hear Harrison speaking, his deep voice low, but the words are unclear.
I come down the steps and see that he’s standing at the window beside the grand piano, one hand on the lid and the other holding the phone against his ear.
Is he calling someone to make new arrangements because I’m pregnant?
I can’t hold back a yawn, but I’m curious about who he’s talking to, and can’t help myself.
I take the stairs down to the main floor and go to him, slipping my arms around his waist from behind.
He startles a bit and turns in my arms, nodding when he looks in my eyes.
“Yes, thanks. I’ll meet with you tomorrow, and we can go over the details. Yes, that sounds good. Thanks again. I appreciate the quick response. I know,” he says and smiles. “It’s a great time in our lives. See you then.”
He puts his cell into his pocket and wraps his arms around me. “I thought I told you to go to bed, Mrs. O’Connor.”
“You did, Mr. O’Connor, but I want you there with me. I’ll fall asleep faster with you beside me.”
“I know. I just wanted to make a call first. You go back up and get into bed. I have to get some water and then do my nightly ablutions. I’ll be ten minutes.”
We kiss, and then he playfully pushes me out of his embrace and moves me over to the stairs leading up to the loft. “Go. I’ll be up as soon as I can.”
I smile and climb the stairs to the loft and get back into bed. I turn and watch the stairway, waiting for him to join me.
For the first few moments, I wait, smiling to myself, happy that he’s clearly pleased about the pregnancy in a way I didn’t anticipate.
Then, after ten minutes go by, I frown to myself and slide out of bed, taking the stairs to the main floor.
He’s standing at the window overlooking the city and is talking on the phone, a few sheets of paper in his hand.
He’s reading them and speaking into his cell, like he’s reciting something.
I go up behind him, but far enough away that he can’t see me, and listen.
“Yes, that’s right. I want it changed. I want to do this now, while it’s still fresh in my mind. I appreciate it. Can you read it back to me?
There’s a pause, and then he nods his head. “Yes. That’s what I want. I want all of it to go to Natalia and our children. Nothing to Ryan or Tommy.”
I realize what he’s doing. He’s called his lawyer – at this hour – and is changing his will to give everything to me and whatever children we have.
For a moment, I’m shocked that he felt the need to do this so quickly.
It could have waited until tomorrow morning.
Hell, it could have waited until next week.
He must really feel his life is in danger if he’s calling his lawyer so late.
Part of me feels bad that he’s doing this and that he’s so concerned now that he knows I’m pregnant. Another part feels so thankful that he cares enough to do it.
I go up behind him and slip my arms around his waist, resting my head against his shoulder.
He startles a bit but then turns around in my arms, and after placing the sheets of paper onto the shelving unit by the window, he strokes my hair with affection.
“Thanks, Ted. I really appreciate it. Send me the new documents, and I’ll sign ASAP. Cheers.”
He ends the call, puts his cell down and then leans down to kiss me.
I shake my head. “You didn’t have to do that tonight.”
He smiles. “You clearly heard my conversation with Ted. I had to do it as soon as I knew you were pregnant. I meant to do it before, but this just added even more urgency.”
I sigh and lean my head on his shoulder. “I hate that we’re in such a dangerous world. Why can’t we move out to Fire Island and live there, far away from our families?”
“That would be wonderful,” he says, and kisses me warmly. “And we will, once we finish with this one small thing.”
“Bringing down the Andropov, Siderov and Ivanov crime families, you mean?”
He smiles. “Yeah. Just this one small thing. Piece of cake, right?”
We embrace and enjoy each other’s warmth for a moment. Then, he pulls back and tilts my chin up. “To bed, my love. You have a shift tomorrow morning, and I have an empire to destroy.”
“Can’t it wait for another lifetime?”
“No can do,” he says and kisses me once more. “I’m going to put my papers away, and I’ll join you in bed in five.”
“Okay,” I say and leave his arms with reluctance. I take the stairs to the second-floor loft and go to the bathroom to check myself out in the mirror and quickly brush my teeth once more.
In a few moments, he joins me in the bedroom and goes to our bathroom. When he comes over to where I’m standing, I can tell that he’s brushed his teeth as well. I smile to myself, knowing what that means.
He pulls me into his embrace, and once again, I think how lucky I am to have him. His strong arms feel so good around me, so comforting, so warm.
My body responds to the feel of him, the strength of his muscles under his clothes. I unbutton his shirt, and his skin feels so smooth against my hands as I reach up and stroke his strong biceps. I am lost in the feel of his body against mine, and my mouth seeks out his.
He picks me up and carries me to the bed, kissing me back with a passion that is sudden and intense.
He lies on top of me, and it makes me feel so safe, so desired.
We struggle to undress, with me tugging at his clothes, laughing as I do, pulling off garments one by one, impatient to touch his naked skin.
I run my fingers through his hair while he buries his face between my breasts, his mouth moving down to my nipples, and then lower. When his tongue finds my sex, my body shakes with desire. I gasp as he sucks, and when he looks up, his face is flushed with desire.
Then, we change places, and I lie on top of him.
I straddle him, my thighs on either side of his, his cock swollen and erect beneath me, my hands on his shoulders, stroking his strong arms. I want him so much, this enemy I used to hate, this strong former warrior who I had mistakenly thought killed Sherri.
I thought he was a monster who used people and then threw them away.
How wrong I was…
I kiss him, and then my mouth moves lower, and I lick his skin, tasting his saltiness, his indescribable maleness that arouses me so much.
I lick him and hear his moan of pleasure as my tongue strokes the bulging head of his cock, my mouth taking him inside of me.
He moves, propping himself up on his elbows so he can watch me sucking him.
I pulled off him and hear his sigh of regret. I’m so aroused, I want to feel him inside of me, thrusting until I scream in pleasure.
He pushes me on my back and lies on top of me once again, rubbing his hardness against my sex. His mouth moves on my body now as I had on his, and I too gasp as his mouth finds my nipples, sucking each one to hardness.
"When we first met, I tried so hard not to want you," I whisper, as his mouth moves lower, as his hands part my willing thighs. "I tried to hate you, but I couldn’t. Instead, I love you."
He stops and lies his head on my belly. I wait, my fingers combing through his hair. When he does nothing, when he says nothing, I wonder why he stopped. Did I say something wrong? He moves up the bed so that his face is level with mine and shakes his head over me; his face looks so pained.
"I'm so sorry, Natalia. I'm so sorry... for what happened to Sherri. I had no idea she was so vulnerable. I had no idea what Alexi was using. I thought he used a bit of coke now and then, a bit of pot, but nothing more…"
"No," I say and shake my head. "Don't be sorry. I only blamed you because I thought you were her new boyfriend." I cradle his face in my hands and smile at him. “I was so wrong.”
He shakes his head again, as if he can’t accept my words. "Natalia, I ..." Then he looks at me, in my eyes. “I should have been more careful, but I wanted to get him so badly in revenge for Liam’s death.”
"It’s something we share,” I say and nod. “Both of us were so filled with a desire for revenge that we made too many assumptions," I whisper, pulling him to my mouth. Then he kisses me, overtaken once again by desire.
His mouth finds my sex once more, and it feels so good on my flesh, his tongue stroking my hard clit.
Now my body takes over, my hips straining against him, moving myself against his tongue until I can’t stand it any longer, and I cry out with pleasure as my orgasm begins.
I want him inside of me immediately, to start thrusting in me before the feelings can subside, and I pull him up to me, my hand grasping his cock and trying frantically to pull him inside.
When he enters me, as his hardness fills me up completely, my breath leaves my body, and I know it won’t take many more thrusts before I orgasm again.
Before he even establishes an effective pace for his own pleasure, my back arches as another orgasm surges through me, and I cry out beneath him, my mouth crushed against his.
Hearing my cries of pleasure, feeling my body contracting around his cock arouses him further and soon I hear his own breath shorten, and his thrusts grow more rapid. Then he groans and sucks in his breath as his orgasm begins, and those delicious grunts of pleasure come from those full lips.
He collapses against me, his mouth finding my own, and we kiss deeply, drained from the intensity of our desire for each other and the pleasure each receives.
I can’t help but think about my pregnancy and how happy Harrison is about it. I didn’t want to burden him even more, considering everything happening in his life, but he didn’t hesitate for a moment to welcome the news.
It’s still early days, and I know that up to a third of all pregnancies fail in the first weeks after implantation. I hope this one is safe.
I know Harrison wants a family, but can we deal with parenthood on top of everything else? Then, I kick myself mentally.
Harrison is so strong.
Our love is so strong.
It has to be enough.