21. Chapter 21
Queen Adanna
I sat in the dark on the cotton couch of a house that wasn't mine, staring out at the hazy skyline of Atlanta. My mind was running at a terrifying speed, faster than I ever thought possible, spinning out of control in a way that made my skin feel hot.
I wasn't used to this. I wasn't built for the kind of vulnerability Damini brought out of me.
When he looked at me in that hallway, his eyes were so damn soft.
He wasn't playing a game. He actually meant it when he said he loved me.
All of me. The blood on my hands, the coldness, the sociopathy...
all of it. My entire life, people treated my existence like a glitch.
I was so used to being the problem in every room I walked into, but never anyone's solution.
Yet Dame looked at me like I wasn't broken at all. Like I was whole.
The weight of it was suffocating, which was why I’d slipped away to Atlanta in the dead of night just to hear myself think.
In the midst of my pulsing, chaotic thoughts, a faint static hum from a dresser monitor down the hall caught my attention. Through the soft white noise, a steady, rhythmic breathing sound suddenly... stopped.
I paused, my instincts instantly overriding my spiral.
I got up from the couch without making a single sound and glided down the carpeted hallway.
I cracked open the master bedroom door first. The parents were snuggled up together, dead to the world, sleeping the day away without a care.
They were fine. On their dresser, the blue light of the baby monitor glowed softly.
I closed their door and moved to the room next door, pushing it open.
Inside the nursery, a soft nightlight illuminated a wooden crib. Lying on their stomach was a little chocolate drop of a baby. I leaned over the railing, watching closely, but I didn't see their tiny chest rising or falling.
I’ve never understood adults' deep-seated fascination with children. They’re just squishy, squishy human sponges that solely depend on you for basic survival. It’s so aggressively unoriginal.
Seeing no movement, I rolled my dark eyes.
Unbelievable.
I reached into the crib, surprisingly gentle as I carefully flipped the baby onto their back. I positioned it so they could breathe better, clearing their airway from the soft bedding. I stood over the crib and waited.
A tiny gasp cut through the quiet, followed by the steady, rhythmic rise and fall of a small chest. Air was moving again.
What I didn't expect was for the squishy sponge to open its eyes.
I froze, staring down at the baby. Two tiny, glossy eyes fluttered open, locking straight onto mine. It didn't scream. Instead, its tiny face crumpled into a wide, toothless smile, and its chubby little arms reached straight up toward me.
I rolled my eyes and took a cautious step backward, trying to retreat into the shadows. The second I backed away, the baby's smile vanished, and a tiny whimper started to build in its throat.
"Shut up," I hissed quietly, stepping right back to the edge of the crib.
The baby instantly stopped whimpering, let out a soft giggle, and reached its little hands out again.
I wrinkled my nose, genuinely grossed out by the tiny, damp fingers. I slowly extended my index finger into the crib. The baby immediately wrapped its entire hand around my knuckle, clinging on tight as it let out a pleased little squeal.
My lower lip twitched. A faint, involuntary smirk slipped past my guard.
"I know," I whispered, staring into the bright little eyes. "I give that effect to everyone. Now go back to sleep."
I leaned down slightly and blew a soft, gentle puff of air across the baby's face. The tiny eyelids fluttered until they slowly drifted shut again. Even in deep sleep, the baby kept a firm grip on my finger.
I stood there in the quiet room for a long time, letting the tiny sponge anchor my hand, finding a strange, quiet comfort in something so small and uncomplicated while my own head felt like a war zone.
Eventually, I slipped my finger free without waking them up. I glided out of the house, letting the night air wash over me as I made my way three blocks down to a familiar brick apartment complex, sneaking inside and picking the lock to my ex-boyfriend's place in under four seconds.
I eased into his bedroom, staying flat against the wall.
To my surprise, he wasn't sleeping with anyone tonight. He was sprawled out solo across the mattress. Knowing him, he'd gotten home so late from whatever run he was on that he’d probably just stayed at the woman's house rather than bother bringing her back to his place.
***
I walked into his bedroom, stepping toward the mattress without making a sound.
I slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, placing my hands on my knees, completely still in the dark.
I waited, watching his steady breathing pattern shift as his subconscious picked up on the presence of another body in the room.
He rolled over, his eyes snapping open. He jumped practically out of his skin, but he didn't bolt out of bed. He just laid there for a second, letting his heart rate settle, before a familiar, tired smirk pulled at the corner of his lips.
"I knew you'd be back," he rasped, his voice thick with sleep.
"You said if I needed to... talk," I said, keeping my tone clipped.
"I said to call, but you caught a flight."
"It was serious."
"Okay." He yawned, rubbing his face before pushing himself up to sit against his pillows. "I'm listening."
I stared ahead into the dark room, the words feeling heavy and strange in my throat before I could even say them. "I think... I think my king… I think he uhh.. He might be… "
He raised an eyebrow at me in the dim light. "Your king? Your island married you off?"
I shrugged, looking down at my knuckles. "Yeah, but I didn't expect him to be like me."
"So he matches your attitude?"
"In a way, yeah..."
He leaned his head back against the wall, watching me closely. "So you like him or love him?"
I shot him a razor-sharp glare. "Let's not do too much."
He smirked, shaking his head. "It's okay to move on and be with another man, Danni."
"Oh, that's not my problem."
He went still, catching the subtle shift in my eyes. He blinked, his eyes widening. "You fucked him?"
"I did."
He threw his head back with a heavy groan, genuinely frustrated, before scrubbing his hands over his face and sighing into his palms. "So you really love him... or your version of love."
I went quiet. The dark room suddenly felt too quiet.
For a second, the clinical, calculating walls in my head cracked open, letting a beat of rare, terrifying vulnerability breathe between us.
He didn't push. He just held space for me, sitting there in the dark without a trace of judgment, letting me work through the chaos in my own mind.
"I guess..." I murmured, tilting my chin down. "What do I do?"
"Huh?"
"You heard me."
He looked at me, his gaze softening. He didn't laugh, and he didn't make a joke.
"You allow yourself to get the happiness you deserve," he said softly.
I matched his stare, my dark eyes locked onto his, searching for any lie or flaw in his logic. Finding none, I pulled my eyes away, leaning the back of my head gently against his headboard.
"What could go wrong?" he mused out loud to the empty air.
I paused. "Everything."
He shook his head, laying back down on his side, keeping his eyes fixed on me as I rested against the wood. "But you'll be ready. It's not like he doesn't know how to handle himself... if you gave him some, that means he must make you feel like you matched with your equal."
I slowly nodded. Dame was my equal. He didn't try to fix my darkness; he claimed it.
We sat like that for a long time. I stayed resting my head against his headboard, letting the steady silence of the room calm the thunderstorm spinning inside my head, while he just lay there letting me process.
"This is goodbye, by the way," I said quietly, breaking the silence.
His expression dropped, and he sat right back up. "So you're really never going to talk to me again?"
"Yes. You no longer serve a purpose."
He dramatically clutched his hands over his chest. "Ouch."
"This new woman..." I added, my eyes flicking toward the hallway. "...seems promising. Keep her and don’t fuck up like you did with me."
He smirked, shaking his head at me. "I told you to stay out of my business."
"I plan to after this time... you were useful during your time."
He cracked up, a loud, genuine laugh bursting out of him in the dark. Despite myself, I felt my own lower lip twitch, suppressing a faint smirk before I could catch it.
"I'll always hold a special place for you too," he chuckled, his eyes going soft. "Goodbye, Princess... or should I say Queen."
I leaned down over the bed and pressed a light kiss to his forehead. "It's Danni."
He nodded gently. "You be safe out there, Danni."
I slowly got up from the bed, and slipped out of his bedroom. I crouched down, gave the cat a brief pet behind the ears, and slid out through the window. Three doors down, parked under a broken streetlight, sat the black Hummer I’d stolen off a local chop-shop lot hours ago.
I unlocked it, climbed up into the driver's seat, and slammed the heavy door shut. I cranked the engine back up, and hit the gas, and headed back home to my husband.