25. Adrian
Adrian
“Fucking Reno?”
I was in my office, alone, telling anyone who dared to come near my secretary, let alone me, that they had better have a good fucking reason to talk to me. The despair that enveloped me the past few days had morphed into a general anger, and I was all but looking for a reason to fight someone.
That anger began boiling over when I saw the news article that declared Delilah Reyes, esteemed journalist of the Las Vegas Times, was moving to Reno to do investigative journalism on the growing city.
Whatever the fuck that meant. None of us Vales had any fucking interest in that little town; why the fuck would we?
Vegas was where the action was, and to pretend otherwise was throwing good money after bad returns.
“Fucking… Reno?!” I screamed, a bit louder.
How dare she let the newspaper make the announcement. She couldn’t tell me to my face? Why the fuck would she? You acted like a shithead, and she chose wisely. Would you have put up with shit like this?
Thoughts did not matter. Rage was crawling under my skin, controlling me. What a fucking public rejection. Who gave a fuck if “public” only meant my brothers and maybe some of her friends? She couldn’t do this quietly, could she?
It’s a smart move on her part. Get away from you. Advance in her career. Move—
“Fuck!”
I ripped the diamond cufflinks off my shirt, tearing it in the process, and hurled them across the room. Only when they had fallen to the ground, still intact but scratched, did I realize how much of a fool I had just acted.
Delilah Reyes had not made a foolish decision. She had made a business decision. She wasn’t spiteful, but strong for what she needed.
And look at what I had become.
So scared of losing people I cared about that when I did, I acted like a fucking kid.
“Fuck!”
The door swung open. My eyes went wide, preparing to shove whoever the fuck was stupid enough to—
“That’s enough.”
Cassius.
Fucking Cassius Vale.
Oh, this ought to be good. Had big brother come to teach me a lesson? Had the King of Hearts come to tell me how to be a better man? The look on his face suggested as much. He wore a mean scowl, one that said he would not mince words.
Good. I needed a good fight to get some anger out. It had been some time since I’d been in a true fistfight; no better target than the brother who had everything I did not.
“What the fuck are you doing, Adrian?” Cassius said.
“Look at yourself. You’re so petulant you threw your iconic cufflinks on the ground.
Do you think Delilah would want to be with a man with such little self-control?
What would have happened when you laid hands on her?
She had the good sense to walk away before—”
I grabbed Cassius by the collar and slammed him against the wall. He just smirked at me, the little shit. It was like he was daring me to hit him, as if he knew he’d win a fight instantly. What a fucking fool. Dante was the strongest of us, but I was second, and it wasn’t close.
“You’re going to fucking tell me how to be a good man?” I sneered, pressing him harder against the wall. “You, who have always been able to offload everything onto us? You, who gets the glory of being CEO without having to do the hard work? You? You?!”
“Yes, me!” Cassius roared, pushing me away. It was only because he was my brother that I didn’t instantly put my hands back on him, dragging him to the ground. “I can say this because I was in your shoes once. I had to fight for my fucking love.”
“No, you didn’t!” I said, laughing. “You got the girl who already loved you. You could’ve cheated on her, and she still would have come crawling back.”
“If you think that’s the case,” Cassius growled, “then you don’t know a fucking thing about Sarah.”
He dusted himself off, took in a breath, and stared that icy glare that had made many a man beg for mercy or lose the negotiation.
“Maybe I got the glory of being CEO,” he said. “But I put up the most money. I am the one who brought our family together after Virgil. Might I remind you, by the way, that I had to come to grips with Sarah being the driver of the car that Virgil died in, even if she wasn’t at fault. Which…”
Something clicked in his eye. Something that, without being said, made me very angry and very concerned. It was like he knew he’d found something.
“Funny, isn’t it?” he said coldly, without emotion. “You fought so hard not to lose Delilah, up until the point when desire for control got the best of you. But now look at you. You’ve lost her. Just like we lost Virgil.”
I snapped.
I fucking tackled Cassius to the ground, and the two of us rolled, trying to get the dominant position. I had him briefly and landed a good punch on his face, only for him to hurl me off before he got me in a chokehold. He did not choke me out, but I had no fucking escape.
The fucking asshole!
“I came here to help you!” Cassius growled. “I did not come here to guilt you. I did not come here to fucking piss you off. But you need to hear the fucking truth, Adrian. Not the jealous brother truth or the dominant asshole truth. But the real, fucking, unvarnished truth. Do you understand?”
I grunted and gave no response. Cassius’ arm slowly slid out from beneath my neck.
I hurried to my feet, dusting myself off, trying not to reach for the ache in the back of my head.
I still wanted to beat the shit out of the arrogant one before me, the golden child who let the rest of us get smeared.
He had no fucking idea how dirty we’d gotten our hands, even when it wasn’t as dirty as some might say.
“I know how to be a monster, Adrian,” Cassius warned. “Just because I haven’t had to as much doesn’t mean I don’t know how. You think you’re the only one who knows how to crush your enemies? I do. Now. Shut the fuck up, sit down, and listen to me.”
“I will not sit before you, brother,” I said, but I took a breath. “But I will hear what you have to say. I will judge whether it’s worth listening to.”
Cassius brushed himself off, sighed, and shook his body, as if trying to shake off the fight that had just happened.
“You can get her back, Adrian,” Cassius said. “But don’t go as the King of Diamonds. Don’t go as the man who pretends there’s no connection to Virgil. In the same way you wouldn’t go begging for her like a pussy, don’t go demanding her like an asshole. Go as the broken but honest man you are. But.”
He let silence hang for several seconds, as if testing me to see if I’d snap or say anything. I wasn’t going to say anything more. At this point, it only led to wrestling matches and punches.
“But, only go once you’ve looked deep inside yourself.
Once you’ve seen the monster you are, not to others, but to yourself.
Come to grips with it. Come to grips with it alone.
Accept why you are so envious of me, why you are so insistent on projecting power, why you have such a need for control.
And then, only then, should you go to Delilah.
Because if you go before then, you will lose her. Forever.”
Cassius did not give me a chance to respond, walking out right then.
I didn’t hear him say a word to my secretary or anyone else in the hallway; I was pretty sure this was the first fight we’d ever had in our offices, but I was also pretty damn sure that no one on our staff was dumb enough to ask us why the fight went.
Only when I was sure he had gone to the elevator did I think about the words that most hurt, that stabbed me.
“Don’t go as the man who pretends there’s no connection to Virgil.”
I mourned my little brother’s death. Of that, I had never bothered to hide it. But I had never thought there was a connection between his loss and my quest for control. Now, though?
There was no doubt it was the most unvarnished truth Cassius had said.
The desire to better Cassius? A quest to be the most controlling Vale in the family.
The desire to destroy the Morrils? A quest to be the most controlling casino empire in Vegas.
The desire to have Delilah on her knees before me? A quest to be the most controlling presence in her life.
The most controlling in a world in which I had learned at a young age how life laughed at those who tried to overexert control.
It was the most painful realization I’d had in a long, long time, so much so that I just sat there, miserable, struggling to get to my feet.
Yet beneath all that pain, beneath the hard realization that played out in my mind, lay a glimmer of hope.
This was absolutely rock bottom. This was the foundation of all my despair, frustration, and trouble.
I had only up to go from here.
I could not rush it. I could not control it. I could not dictate how coming to terms with it might go.
But at least I knew the direction toward redemption, toward getting Delilah.
At least I knew how to become the fullest version of Adrian Vale, the man.