19. Dumbfounded
nineteen
Dumbfounded
Emma
The moment my alarm went off was painful. The sounds pierced into my ears, and my eyelids reacted with a squeeze before I had to will them apart. As if hungover and reeling, it took me a minute to realize where I was. Dean’s bedroom suite— in his bed .
As my eyes roamed around the room, I noticed how different it looked in broad daylight. My fingers ran along my naked shoulder, down to my collarbone, where they met Dean’s hand. His head was on my chest, and he was still sleeping so peacefully that I felt bad about having to wake him up.
For a moment, I watched his relaxed face, free from all expressions that had plagued him for so long. His lips were slightly parted, and his eyes closed. He must have been dreaming, because I could see motion underneath those eyelids with the thick, black lashes.
What happened last night?
I couldn’t exactly explain how my crying to my mom over the phone had led to sex with Dean, except that he’d heard me. I should have been feeling mortified, but I wasn’t. Perhaps only slightly concerned that he might have used my feelings for him to score another night of carefree sex .
Smacking myself in the head, I shushed the nasty thought and resigned to the fact that if we didn’t get out of bed now, we were going to be late for work.
“Dean,” I whispered, my hand gently pressing his shoulder. “Dean, we need to get up now.”
A brief groan escaped his lips and without opening his eyes, he mumbled, “Let’s take the day off.”
Of course, that would have sounded completely normal had we been truly husband and wife. We were supposedly still newlyweds, and this sort of thing was expected. But we were far from that picture everyone had of us, which made me ache a little. “Which means that I still need to get up. I’m your assistant. Who else is going to fix your calendar?”
Lazily and somewhat hesitantly, Dean lifted his head off my chest, barely opening his eyes just a slit to look at me. With a raspy voice, he said, “Just shoot Mika a message that we’re playing hooky. He’ll handle it.”
Mika was the Head of Administrative Services. On paper, and as far as Human Resources were concerned, I reported to him. In reality, with me being the CEO’s personal assistant, Mika actually reported to me.
Sliding out from underneath Dean, I felt his weight gradually lift off of me and sensed a hint of emptiness, as if I was supposed to lie under him all day.
Soon, other feelings took over. As I picked up my panties and nightgown, my awareness of my own nakedness was a little disorienting. Barefooted, I tiptoed toward the door.
“What do you say we take the boat out today?” I heard him say, just as my hand was about to make contact with the door knob .
Turning around, I held up my gown to my breasts, covering them, hoping that it draped down to conceal the rest of me. My eyes looked out at the gray sky, and I smiled. “Don’t you think it might rain?”
“Even better.” He pushed himself up, resting his back against the headboard. He looked good enough to devour with the concave curve of his toned stomach, the width of his shoulders, and the heart-stopping chaos of curls over his head. “We can spend the whole day in the pool.”
Yes, he was proposing something delicious, to say the least. But was I willing to sink deeper into my feelings for him without the faintest idea of how he felt about me? Was the way he looked at me enough? The deep, brooding gaze in his eyes? The soft tone in which he spoke to me? The…
“So?” he asked. “What do you say?”
“Um—Sure.” I finally shrugged, feeling as though I were giving away another right to complain later. He wasn’t forcing me; I was walking into wherever he was taking me, fully lucid and aware of how badly I could get hurt… soon. “Let me grab some coffee first and send that text to Mika.”
Grinning, he suddenly looked ten times livelier as he pushed away the covers, practically leaping out of bed. “Take your time. I’m going to take a shower.”
“Do—Would you like some breakfast?”
Marching fully naked toward me—well, actually, toward the bathroom door next to me—he casually shrugged. “Sure. Whatever you feel like.” As he disappeared into the bathroom, I heard his voice echo, “You don’t want to join me in here?”
My heart nearly stopped. What the hell was he doing? Was he still drunk from last night? “Uh—No, I’m good. I really need that coffee right now.”
Rushing across the hall before someone could see me, I practically leapt into my suite, slamming the door behind me. Backing up against it, I lightly banged my head backward, once, twice, thrice; a desperate attempt at resetting my thoughts.
When I failed, I dropped my clothes to the floor, closed my eyes, and slowly descended. As soon as my skin touched the cool tile, I let myself sit there for a moment, cross-legged. I began to take long, deep, deliberate breaths, just like the ones I had needed when a panic attack was imminent.
Except I wasn’t panicking… or was I?
Something about what Dean was doing felt thoughtless and cruel. Or maybe that was my defense mechanism, jumping to spare me the heartache I was setting myself up for by wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Pushing myself up to stand, I went into the shower and washed myself in literally three minutes. I then walked out, got dressed, texted Mika, and left my suite to go downstairs.
With a smile and a warm croissant, Helen had my coffee ready in the kitchen. As soon as she saw me, she picked up the mug and plate, walking out to meet me halfway. “Good morning! In here or outside?”
I turned to look at the darkening clouds filling the sky. “In here. Dean wants to take the boat out today—I think it’s a crazy idea.”
Her chuckle was light as it danced in the air. Placing everything on the counter in front of my stool, Helen made her way back into the kitchen. “Mr. Allen’s practically been raised on yachts. At fifteen, he sailed single handedly with Mrs. Allen on board.”
My eyebrows shrugged along with my shoulders before I picked up my beverage, inhaling the aroma that kicked my brain cells into gear. “Guess I’ll have to trust him, then.” I let out an intentionally awkward giggle, and Helen nodded .
It wasn’t long before we were joined by Dean, fresh with damp hair and bright eyes. He only wanted coffee, saying that he would eat on the yacht later. Soon, he and I were stepping onto the giant boat, the sky clearing up for what seemed to be the calm before the storm. On the horizon, I could still see a floating carpet of rain clouds that promised a shower in the afternoon, if nothing more.
Since the sky was clear for a while, Dean and I seized the opportunity and laid in the sunlight. Ten minutes in, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was cold and needed to either put some layers on or get inside.
“Let’s go in, then!” he nonchalantly said, picking up our drinks and leading the way into the pool area.
Inside, the warmed glass room was welcoming, like a tight hug from a long-lost friend. As my muscles started to relax, I began to drink more freely, snacking on gourmet nuts and popcorn.
“So, what do you think of the arrangement upstairs?” Dean asked as we floated about in the pool, his arms splayed out over the surface of the water.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m thinking of renovating the suites,” he explained. “They all have wider views of the garden, but barely of the pool.”
Wondering why he would care for my opinion at all, I stalled for a second, trying to picture the change he was suggesting. “But that way, even the hallway will have to change.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Well, then… I guess. Yeah.”
He chortled. “Okay? If you drink another Jack Frost, would you give me a more enthusiastic opinion?”
I shrugged, forcing a smile. “I just don’t know why you would ask me this—”
He was already out of the water, grabbing us another drink. “Because the decorators will expect Mrs. Allen to be the one in charge of the remodel, maybe?”
My eyes watched him descend back into the pool, holding the frosty teal beverages in his hands. “Come on, Dean.” My brain was starting to melt, just like that fine lining along the rims of the glasses in his hands.
“Come on, what?” Handing me my glass, he came closer, looking into my eyes. “Don’t you like to be included in these decisions?”
My gaze was defiant, determined to understand what sort of game he was playing. “Why?”
“Because…” He planted a quick peck on my lips. “You have really good taste.”
Taking a step backward, I watched him take a sip of his drink. “I do, don’t I? But soon, I’ll be gone, and you’ll be left with the decisions I made on your behalf.”
“You want to leave?” he softly asked, taking a step forward. As his lips reached for mine once more, I couldn’t help but smile. Yes, he was being juvenile, but I needed to exert more effort to resist those lips… especially when they tasted of coconut and sinful seduction.
“Wasn’t that our agreement?” I asked, fighting hard not to kiss him, keeping my eyes on his instead of those lips I craved so much.
“Agreements change. Look at us now. Did we expect any of this?” His voice was soft and soothing, almost mesmerizing. Insisting on reaching my mouth with his, he inched closer once more, teasing me as his hand grabbed my behind.
I felt my heart beat faster and harder, and I knew that my resistance would soon raise the white flag. He knew I had fallen for him, which gave him the upper hand. And now, every move he made was another nail hammered into the coffin of my endurance. When I finally said, “ No, we didn’t,” it came out hoarse, the words scratching along my throat. As if to add insult to injury, my eyelids fluttered, and he caught it with a smile. To me, it looked a lot like triumph.
He chugged down the entirety of his drink in one go, tossing the empty glass into the water before throwing his arms around me, capturing me in his embrace. I didn’t want to break free, but I didn’t want to surrender, either. A thousand thoughts stormed through my mind, just as my eyes caught a glimpse of the rain starting outside.
“It’s raining,” I warned in a whisper.
Licking his lips, he smiled, his eyes fixed on my mouth. “There were no storms in the forecast,” he whispered. “Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried, ” I lied.
“Then why won’t you kiss me?”
Mimicking what he had done, I downed my drink in one long chug before letting go of the glass. It sank down to the bottom of the pool, just like all my walls. My fighters were wailing, long cries of defeat as I let his lips claim mine.
To have claimed that nothing more magical had ever happened in my life would have been an understatement. Outside, it was winter, but the warmth and vitality of spring was blossoming deep inside me.
However, they weren’t without thorns.
When Dean and I were finally alone in the hallway separating his suite from mine, I placed my hand on the doorknob, and he leaned in to kiss me.
“Good night, Emma,” he said into my lips.
Dazed, I watched him turn away and go into his room, gently closing the door behind him.
What in hell’s broken name was happening here?