Chapter 12 Sarah
SARAH
Ihad never felt so cared for by Cassius as in the moment with the other billionaire.
I had no idea if he even knew he was doing it. Certainly, I am sure he recognized that he didn’t like that man kissing my hand. It didn’t take a psychologist to see the other billionaire wasn’t doing it because he was attracted to me, but because he knew it would piss off Cassius.
But the way Cassius reacted made it very, very clear that if anyone fucked with me, he would destroy them.
And while I had no interest in violence or a return to the world the Black Reapers and King’s Men had created, there was something alluring about knowing your date—which, I had to be honest, Cassius was—would do anything to protect you.
I could not imagine it coming to that, but it was nice to know what Cassius would do.
So, of course, as soon as that guy left, Cassius had to return to his icy self.
The conflict within him had been something that was somewhat apparent beforehand, but now, seeing that encounter up close, it brought everything to the forefront for me.
Cassius didn’t know whether to destroy or love me.
Frankly, I didn’t know whether to let him love me or to escape this chaos before it destroyed me.
Just as terrifying was that both outcomes seemed equally possible. Love was not something that seemed worth leaving to chance, and yet the direction this dynamic—not yet a relationship, but something more than two old acquaintances by now—would take might as well be a coin flip.
Something had to change. One of us had to drop our guard, one of us had to invite the other in just a little further. Not quite past the point of no return, but past the point of plausible deniability.
And by one of us, I knew I meant me. Because Cassius could play the long game far longer than I could. He could do this plausible-deniability-yet-romantic-hints game for weeks, months, maybe even years if he felt so desired to.
I could not.
And so, while I put on a pretty face for the New York gala, while I smiled and answered questions and held my own, strangely, for something that had so crippled me hours ago, it barely registered as something to matter.
I was far more curious about what would happen when we got back to our penthouse, when it was just the two of us in a land three time zones removed from our respective homes. I told myself I would do something to move things forward; I would take the initiative in that regard.
But after that, I might as well have called “heads” on the flip of a coin to determine what would happen next.
The chill of the New York City night was far greater than on the coldest night Las Vegas or Phoenix would ever have. On the one hand, the chill made all but the hardiest of New Yorkers eager to head inside.
On the other—or maybe in tandem—the cold brought people together.
Even strangers found themselves huddling close to each other, if not in direct contact, then closer than they would have otherwise.
This wasn’t a thought that I hoped brought Cassius to me, as I still had my reservations about what he might do.
But as I stood on the balcony of the penthouse and heard the footsteps of the billionaire, I was not ignorant to how this was just one more match, one more flick of fire that might cause our relationship to erupt in flames.
Flames of passion or flames of destruction… who knew?
Cassius stood behind me by about a foot and a half, close enough to reach out and touch me, yet not so close as to press into me. It was like he was silently waiting for me to say whatever I wanted to say; like I said, the man knew how to play the long game well enough.
“You were quite the force with Leo,” I said.
“I do not appreciate when others try to take what is mine.”
That got me to turn around and face him. Expecting a cold, hardened face, I instead was surprised to see a small hint of a smile. It wasn’t warm enough to make me feel I was inside his inner walls, but it was enough to provoke my curiosity.
“Mine?” I said, well aware of what he meant.
He paused briefly.
“You surely knew that Allure was run by me, or at the very least in the casino owned by me,” he said, his eyes narrowing and his smile fading.
Not menacingly, but with certainty. “You’ve been gone for years on end.
Yet suddenly, I open a new casino. Mine might be the best new art exhibit in Vegas, but I am not stupid enough to think that it is the only one. You came to me.”
“Maybe I got tired of running,” I said.
I couldn’t believe I’d blurted those words out. Even Cassius reeled. Not for long; it was an involuntary reaction he quickly got under control. But neither of us couldn’t believe someone had finally said something vulnerable.
It was like unlocking a door that opened up a whole pile of inner thoughts, because suddenly, I couldn’t stop talking.
“I got tired of running from you, from the Reapers, from our life of failure in Vegas, Cassius,” I said.
I was looking at him, my gaze unyielding.
I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t—didn’t want to—look anywhere else.
“A life on the run is not a life worth living. I did some terrible things. But instead of apologizing for them, I ran. I told myself when I signed up for the gala that I was attempting to return to Vegas. But maybe…”
I sighed. Fuck it, it was all coming now.
“Maybe I was attempting to return to you.”
Cassius gulped, which I only noticed because of how carefully I was watching him. His Adam’s apple barely bobbed, but move it did. The rest of him remained statue-esque, measuring me and taking me in.
He stepped forward and took my hand in his. Firmly, with power, but not with violence. He slipped his other hand to my hip and pulled me against him.
I swallowed, and my gulp was surely noticeable across the entirety of Manhattan’s skyline.
This moment, when all talking ceases but so much gets said in between, the spark that flies between eyes and lips…
it was familiar, but from long, long ago.
Not quite a lifetime ago, but a majority of a lifetime ago.
“Cassius, I—”
He put a finger to my lips. The mere touch of his finger on my lips about made my legs collapse, my knees weaken. I was in his grip, so the only place I would have fallen was further into him.
“You came to me,” he said, “and you became mine.”
He leaned forward. Our faces were mere inches apart. I could have closed my eyes, leaned forward….
“You are mine, Sarah,” Cassius said. “No matter where we are.”
I bit my lip. God, the anticipation. He closed his eyes. I closed mine.
I leaned forward.
And just barely grazed his cheek with a kiss that was not intended to be only that.
“Cassius?” I said. Before I’d finished speaking, he’d already let me go.
He stormed over to the balcony railing, his body shaking, and not from the cold. I could not see his face, but I almost did not want to. The way Cassius trembled was like a man boiling himself from within with fire and anger. But over what? Virgil? I didn’t dare mention his name right now, but…
What was going through his mind?
At least I’d finally—well, maybe not finally, but most strongly—expressed how I felt. I’d put the ball in Cassius’ court, saying that I was returning to him. He’d said I was his. What the hell were we waiting for?
No. I knew what we were waiting for.
The inner cognitive dissonance to fade. To dispel the dual feelings of immense attraction and terrible repulsion. I wanted to pin it on Cassius, to say he was the only one experiencing it.
But I knew better.
I knew a part of me resented being so reliant on him the past week or so.
A part of me hated the idea that just as quickly as he’d built my art career, he could permanently destroy it.
Yes, relationships entailed risk even with bank accounts less than nine or even six digits, but there was a big difference between the risk of a third date going awry versus reuniting with a man like Cassius Vale.
All that said, I found myself frozen, unsure whether to come forward to him or not. If I pushed too far, he would reject me. Not try hard enough, and he’d let me fade away. I couldn’t leave here without an answer of some kind, and yet—
Cassius finally turned, still taking it hard, deep breaths through his nose. The breathing pattern was very much of a man trying to steady his inner fire.
“You have made tonight quite interesting, Sarah,” he said.
He stepped forward once more, not quite close enough to grab my hand and my hip but getting there.
“In the spirit of honesty, I suppose you could say I am also tired of running. Oh, sure, not in the literal sense. My brothers and I don’t run from a fight.
But I grow tired of running from what we came here for. What this whole… thing is for.”
“Which is?”
Cassius smiled.
“The funny thing is, Sarah, it changes,” Cassius said.
“When you first showed up, I just wanted to fuck you. In the literal sense, or the figurative sense? Maybe both. It has been a while since I met a woman who knew me before I became a billionaire. But as time has gone on, you’ve intrigued me more and more.
There’s more to you than I ever would have guessed. ”
He snorted. He seemed almost amused with himself.
“I could take you to the bedroom right now and fuck you until you drift off into orgasmic bliss, but what would be the fun in doing that so soon?”
He doesn’t want to just fuck me right now. This means…
If he wants something with me, it’s more than a one-night stand.
I think.
I’m not sure if it’s something I hope for.
“We have had an interesting evening here, Sarah, one in which you have brought much to the forefront for me to consider,” he said. “I recommend heading to your room before we go down a road we do not wish to.”
I opened my mouth, ready to say, “What if it’s a road we want to go down for?” But I did not. Something held my tongue back. Something that warned that Cassius was testing me, almost laying a trap to see if I’d take the bait. Sure, we could have sex tonight, and it would feel amazing.
But if it resulted in Cassius feeling like he’d gotten what he wanted, if it caused him to discard me and leave me back at square one… it wasn’t worth it. A road I do not wish to go down.
“I will see you tomorrow then, Cassius,” I said.
He nodded. I had to force myself away from this man, away from the temptation to take his slender body for my own. To deny myself the pleasure that I knew I could have, knowing that it was almost—no, just was—a trap of Cassius was damn near impossible.
By the time I got back to my room, I was soaking wet down below.
Cassius had to know that was going to happen.
When did he not know the consequences of his actions?
It was unfair, really—he’d literally just told me he could fuck me, yet at the same time said that we should not wish to do so.
It was like he knew I’d get uncontrollably horny, yet had sealed off the last gate before fulfilling that erotic desire—himself.
Well, in that case, I’d just have to take matters into my own hands.
I sat on the edge of the bed, overlooking the city down below. Majestic as the view was, I didn’t think anything of it. I could have been at a resort in the wilderness of South Dakota, and I still would have been just as wild in the mind as I was now.
I couldn’t stop thinking of Cassius taking me, finishing that kiss that had come literally inches from completion. My hand slid underneath my dress, underneath my soaked underwear, and found my clit. I rubbed slowly at first, matching the tempo at which I imagined Cassius might take me.
Because I knew from long ago that Cassius didn’t do anything fast. Not business, not romance, not sex. That didn’t mean he was sluggish, but rather just deliberate.
I shuddered as I thought about him taking me to his room. Undressing. Kissing. Years and years apart, and I was still forced to imagine things, but this was different. He’d primed me, something I hadn’t had in years. That priming made it feel so much real.
“Oh, fuck…”
I continued to rub as I thought about him undressing me.
There, I’d stand naked before him, he still either in his full tux or at least still wearing pants.
Cassius liked to have me fully undressed first. He always liked to admire me, as if I were a painting myself, before running his fingers all over me.
He’d always get there eventually, but he liked to take his sweet time getting there.
I imagined his fingers brushing over me.
“Oh!” I gasped.
I hadn’t orgasmed, but damn was thinking about this one of the most intense moments of self-pleasure I’d ever had.
Suddenly, my mind was racing. My hand circled as fast as it could.
I couldn’t control the rush. I went from watching a movie unfold in real time to a flash of images, all of them of us having sex in Cassius’ room.
“Oh ohhh,” I came, trembling and quickly biting my lip. I didn’t want Cassius to hear, yet… holy fuck. He’d caused this. Did he not deserve to hear it?
The question only flashed in my mind as my legs went weak and my whole body seemed to throb and tremble with bliss. I fell back against the bed, writhing and rubbing out every point, every angle possible. It seemed to go on for ages, an orgasmic storm more than just an orgasmic moment.
And then, it ended.
Oh my God, yes, it ended, but wow. That was unexpectedly delightful. Holy shit.
Holy.
Shit.
I just lay there for a moment, catching my breath. If my own hand was that good because of what Cassius had done, what—
“I hope you enjoyed it, Sarah.”
I lurched up. No, Cassius was not in the room. But the timing of it… he must have heard everything.
“Tomorrow, I will see you for more.”
He was just outside the door. He stepped away a moment later, but there was zero doubt he’d heard all of my moans and pleasures.
Fuck.
I couldn’t decide whether I was embarrassed or delighted.
Either way, I had a feeling that would not be the last erotic moment involving Cassius Vale.