Chapter 2 #2
My whole body relaxes and it makes me realize how tense I’d been just recalling that last time I had seen him.
It has affected me deeply. It’s always going to be there at the back of my mind, nagging, holding on to a little part of me.
But instead of letting it ruin my life, I need to remember it, learn from it and move on.
I’ve been blocking things out for too long.
Trying to detach from anything or anyone that might make me feel, that I’ve stopped living.
I had stopped seeing the good and tried to ignore the bad.
Which left me in no man’s land, a gray world.
It wasn’t until Aaron hit me, that I realized how miserable I was in a life that wasn’t mine.
Who knows how long it would have taken me to see this clearly?
If I hadn’t met Denham, I might have still been living in a black and white world, thinking I had a grip on reality but really I was just running from the truth.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“Ari, why are you sorry?” he asks, confused.
I shrug. “Because that must have been hard for you to hear.”
“Goodness, Arianna, will you just think of you for once? Say what you need to say. Do what you need to do. If you want someone to listen to you, I’m here.”
“I know, but—”
“No buts, okay?” he says, raising his brows at me and taking my hand gently between both of his. “It makes me want to break bones and torture him to hear you say things like that, but I want you to be able to talk to me … about anything.”
“Thank you for listening”
“No need to thank me.”
“Okay, then thank you for being so lovely to me.”
“Stunner …”
“Look, I know I come with a lot of baggage and a ton of crazy. You didn’t have to—”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” he says, standing and placing his hands gently on either side of my face, the look in his eyes so gentle and sincere.
“It is what it is,” he says simply before placing a gentle lingering kiss on my parched lips.
The fact that my skin is so dry really makes me aware of just how soft and perfect his mouth feels.
I close my eyes, and his kiss travels through the whole of my body.
When he pulls away, I keep my eyes closed, mesmerized by the warm sensations firing off in all directions.
I’ve probably only been awake for a maximum of ten minutes and already I feel like I’ve been up for endless days. I know I need more rest and regardless of the fact that I don’t want to be here in this hospital, I’m here with Denham and that makes everything feel okay.
“Please rest, Ari,” Denham says quietly, noticing my weariness.
“I’ll rest if you will …”
“Fine, you first.”
“No.”
“Arianna …” he warns with an arched brow.
“I want you in my bed.” I hold up a finger quickly before he interrupts. “Just climb on and cuddle with me, please?”
He looks at me half confused, half exasperated.
“I won’t try anything, I promise,” I insist, holding up my hands in surrender. “I just want you close. I’ll rest better with you next to me”
“You’re impossible,” he grumbles, but I know he’s not grumpy about it.
I shrug. “I know.”
He shakes his head at me, all the while trying to suppress a grin.
He pulls back the cotton sheet that’s covering me and it’s the first time that I’ve noticed that I’m wearing only a pair of boy shorts and one of Denham’s tees.
I really wish I could remember what happened but perhaps it’ll all come back to me with time.
Denham lowers the backrest down and lies on his side. He cradles my head in the crook of his arm and strokes my hair gently with the tips of his fingers.
“Rest, Ari,” he whispers against my hair. I let my heavy eyes close and feel content at the familiar smell of his aftershave and the sound of his steady heartbeat.
I do sleep. Denham sleeps, too. I don’t know how long for but we are both woken with a jump at the sound of his phone echoing around the room. He fumbles to reach it on the nightstand and pulls it to his ear.
“King,” he announces before listening to the person on the end of the line. I can hear someone talking but can’t make out who it is and what they are saying. “Yes, I call you back. Give me five.” He hangs up abruptly.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Yes, just something I need to sort out. I’m sorry it woke you.” He looks down at me with furrowed brows. “How do you feel?”
“I actually feel pretty good … considering.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“I really need to pee …”
“Okay, let me help you.”
“No!” I squeak, mortified at the thought of Denham seeing me in the bathroom. “I don’t need help I just need to get unhooked from these damn machines.”
“Your drip is on wheels, Ari.” Denham says, laughing under his breath. “I’ll take you to the bathroom.”
“I don’t want you to,” I say insistently.
“Arianna, don’t be such a baby. I’ve seen you in all your magnificent naked glory.
” He strokes my cheek and whispers, “I even know how you taste …” His breath fans across my skin and provokes my senses.
That one little sentence has me all kinds of flustered.
I can hardly remember what we were talking about.
Oh yes, I want to pee. But, I most certainly do not want him to take me. There are things a girl needs to do by herself and this is one of them. I mean, what happens if I don’t just need to pee? What do I do then?
“Just help me off the bed, I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“No, Arianna,” he insists. “Stop being so damn stubborn, will you? You haven’t stood upright for a little over six hours. I am not letting you go to the bathroom on your own. What happens if you lose your balance or black out again?”
I hadn’t even thought about that … but I still do not want him to see me in the bathroom like that.
“Fine,” I grumble. “Please call me a nurse … and before you try to insist that you’ll take me, I don’t want you to …
Just … ” I sigh. “ … please.” I don’t know why I’m so insistent.
It’s heartwarming that he wants to help do the most basic things.
But this is all so new to us, we are so new.
I want to keep that spark there, that allure.
This situation is already way beyond what a new couple should be experiencing.
“Fine,” he concedes. “But just so you know, nothing could make me want you any less.”
My heart tightens, gripping those strands of genuinity that he so generously keeps giving me in abundance. “There are just some things a girl has to do … in private,” I say quietly.
“I get it.” He shrugs, kisses my forehead and presses the call bell, then his cell blares through the room, again.
He glances at the screen and shakes his head.
“I’m gonna have to take this, Stunner. Do not get out of bed until the nurse comes,” he orders, looking at me pointedly before leaving the room and closing the door quietly behind him.
Not knowing how long the nurse could take to get here, and thinking it would be even more mortifying if Denham came back to me having peed right here, I manage to wriggle my way to the edge of the bed and dangle my feet while I wait for the nurse.
The urge to go increases. Should I just go on my own?
I can’t wait. The more I think about it the more I need to pee.
Denham could be a while after all. He said I’d been here for six hours already.
Is that right? He has a business to run and he’s spent the day by my side while I was unconscious.
It’s no wonder there are people calling him.
He probably has endless calls to return and he wouldn’t even know if I just slipped out and slipped back in again.
My feet swing faster as the thoughts run through my head and I mentally explore my options.
The longer I deliberate, the closer it gets to him coming back so I slide off the side of the hospital bed very carefully, transferring the weight onto my feet gently and testing my ability to stand.
There, that isn’t too bad … I just have to make it over to the other side of the room and into the bathroom and I can sit down again.
God, I want to sit down again, my head is starting to pound.
Maybe this was a bad idea. My legs are shaking like a newborn lamb and I’m not sure how much longer they are gonna hold out.
I make it three tentative steps before the drip is tugging at my hand and I remember that I’m attached.
I turn and make it back to the bed, resting my hands on the edge and trying to support my weight as best I can as I know I don’t have the strength to climb back in.
It was a stupid idea to try this on my own, but despite everything I still hate to be dependent on anyone, even if I know I can’t do it on my own. But this time I am defeated.
The door clicks open and one of the male nurses comes in.
“And where do you think you’re going?” he asks.
“I need to pee, but I …” My voice wavers at the fact that I can’t do a simple thing such as take myself to the bathroom.
“Don’t worry, you didn’t realize how much your body would protest, I know. Here, let me help you.”
He comes to my side and I hold on to his hand as he supports me around the waist with his other arm.
He guides me towards the chair that Denham has spent the whole time sitting beside me in, when he hasn’t been snuggled up next to me, but before I can make it to sitting, my eyes start to feel fuzzy around the edges and I lose my balance.
I fall into the nurse, clutching for anything in front of me that I can grab but finding nothing and relying on the nurse to catch me.
Luckily, he does or I could have been sporting another lump on my head and a double concussion.
“What the hell?” Denham’s voice reverberates around the room and he rushes to me. “Get your hands off her,” he orders sharply.
“Mr. King, she needs to get back into the bed, now if you’ll let me do my job,” the nurse says firmly but politely.