Chapter 4 #2
“Good, I don’t ever want you to feel afraid of me, Arianna.
Ask me anything you’d like at any time. All I ask in return is that you do the right thing by my son, always be honest, and we will get along just fine.
” She finishes her sentence with a genuine smile and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been accustomed to living a pretend life, putting on a front and bowing to the illusion that everything is fine, but it makes me laugh.
Denham is so much like his mother. She has clearly instilled her ways and upfront honesty in him.
“I’m not sure whether it’s a good thing or not that you’re laughing,” she says with a curious smile.
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just Denham is so like you. He’s straight up and says what he’s thinking, and it makes life so much easier to know that you don’t have to spend time guessing how you’re thinking or how you’re going to react.”
“Well, I think it’s best we know how each other feels, don’t you?”
“Yes, it’s refreshing, but I’m just not used to it. I’ve not been lucky enough to experience such honesty.”
Dana covers one of my hands with hers. “I’m sorry you’ve had things so hard, Arianna.
It makes me sad to think that. We were very lucky that up until three years ago, we had a wonderful life.
My husband …” Her voice wavers a little, “He was a wonderful man. In many ways I was like you. Young, naive, unlucky in love. Until I met him. He turned my world upside down and back again. So, I know how you feel, I see it in your eyes, just remember that everything happens for a reason, and as long as you can sleep at night with a clear conscience then you’ve done all you can.
” She dips her head to look into my downcast eyes.
“Now, what do you say we get some coffee and talk about something else?”
“I think that’s a great idea.” I smile warmly back at her, relieved that this conversation is out of the way but also pleased that we’ve had it and that I now know that she doesn’t hate me.
Lottie was right; she is very sweet, and it’s clear that her children are her world.
Yes, she’s well dressed, and clearly likes the finer things in life, but it strikes me that she would give it all up in a heartbeat for her family.
I follow her to the kitchen where we make coffee and small talk.
I do my best to convince her that I’m not sick.
I have no idea why I fainted yesterday, or how I did so much damage to myself when I did.
I didn’t feel sick prior to it happening and now that I don’t feel so sleepy, I feel as normal as I ever have.
I put it down to the last week being emotional overload.
I hadn’t eaten properly, I was probably dehydrated, and the stress caught up with me when I least expected it to.
Dana hands me a mug of coffee and carries hers along with a mysterious little box out onto the balcony. We sit at the bistro table enjoying the warmth along with the cool breeze that’s blowing through today.
“So, what will you do now that you’ve decided to settle in Vegas?” Dana asks, popping open the lid of the box and offering me what looks like little round balls of chocolate. I frown and hesitate before taking one, but I don’t want to seem rude.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Arianna. Truffles … they are Belgian truffles.
” She laughs. “Every girl needs truffles with coffee, especially after a trauma.” She winks and places the box on the table, taking a truffle and popping the whole thing in her mouth.
I’ve never eaten truffles. They’ve never really appealed to me, but I feel like I would be rude not to try them.
I take one and pop it in my mouth whole, just as Dana did.
It starts to melt on my tongue immediately and the smooth rich chocolate flavor fills my mouth making me groan in appreciation.
“They’re good, huh?” she asks with amusement.
“I discovered this little place just outside of town that makes them; it’s the best kept secret around.
I don’t eat them often but I thought today would be as good a time as any.
They taste like little drops of heaven, and as much as a girl needs to keep her shape, I figured it’s worth it for these little beauties.
” She takes one more and pops it in her mouth, the mere act, making her smile.
When she’s finished enjoying her truffle, she turns her attention back to me.
“So, where were we? Oh yes … so what will you do now that you’re settling in Vegas? ”
“I came here not knowing what was going to happen, and the last week has been a whirlwind. So much has happened and I’m still trying to make sense of it all, really. I at least know that I have somewhere to live and I have a job … well, I think I still have a job …”
“Where do you have a job?”
“Denham introduced me to a lovely lady called Beth—”
“Beth, at Chique?”
“Yes, you know her?”
“Do I know her?” She laughs, “Everyone knows Beth, she’s one of Las Vegas’s treasures.”
“Oh,” I say, not knowing why I am surprised. It actually doesn’t surprise me at all that Beth is well liked around here. She’s another person that says how she feels and calls you out on your shit. Maybe there’s something in the Vegas water.
“Beth gave you a job?” she questions.
“Yes, she offered me a position as assistant buyer. That was before I let her down and didn’t show when I promised I would, and now she probably thinks I’m unreliable and will reconsider her offer,” I blurt.
Dana laughs, and when she does I notice she has the same dimple that Denham does.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Arianna.” She pats my hand reassuringly. “Just give her a call, she’ll understand. She’s not unreasonable, you know.”
“No, I know that. I don’t know why I worry about these things,” I muse, more to myself than her. I suppose after years of having to double check everything I said or did, just in case it started an argument or instigated a beating, will make you insecure.
“It’s because it’s all you’ve ever known.”
I smile shyly and shrug my shoulders, looking anywhere but at her.
She touches my jaw gently, turning my head to look at her.
“Hey, it’ll take time, Arianna. Everything takes time.
Just go with it and stop looking for the bad in everything,” she says softly, giving me a reassuring smile that I mirror instantly.
It’s impossible not to, she has the same easy way about her as Denham has, which makes me feel at ease.
“So,” she says, “for Beth to give you a job must mean you’re pretty knowledgeable.
What is it you’re trained in? What work have you done previously? ”
Again, I feel myself shrink inwards. Self-esteem is where I struggle.
How do I tell her I have little experience in the retail sector, and no experience whatsoever in a buyer’s position.
I’ve never had any formal training in anything and for the past eighteen months, I’ve been a kept woman, even if I hated it.
“Arianna?” she questions. “It wasn’t a trick question, dear. I’m merely curious. It wouldn’t be a problem to me if you said you only had experience flipping burgers at the golden arches. If Beth thinks you’re good enough, then that’s fine with me.”
I let out the breath I was holding and relax. “Thanks, Dana. I’ve never had any formal training. I just love fashion. I love everything about the design and the fabrics. It’s all I ever wanted to do.”
“Well, you seem very passionate about it. And, you’ll love working with Beth, she really is the best. She’ll take you places, be sure of that.”
“I’m really looking forward to getting started.”
“When are you due to start?”
“I’m not sure now,” I say. “I should call her and find out, I was supposed to meet her, but … well, you know.”
“I bet you’re excited! And you won’t have to worry about what to wear, as it’ll all be at your fingertips. God, what I’d do for a staff discount at Chique …”
“I’ll see what I can do for you.”
“Now you’re talking, my girl. See, we are going to get along just fine,” she says, popping another truffle into her mouth with a grin.
I follow suit, and help myself to one more of the delicious little balls.
They are heavenly, and coupled with coffee and good company, I smile inwardly.
She’s right, I know I must have more belief in myself but when you’ve spent year upon year with it being beaten out of you, it’s hard to find that step up.
Although Aaron didn’t continually beat me, I had suppressed my own personality and adopted Natalie Jamesson to play a role.
It wasn’t until the end that it all turned bad, but maybe it was never really good in the first place.