Chapter 8 #3
“Hang on here a minute,” I interrupt, “one of the exes? You make it sound like there’s a whole string of them. There are two exes. Two. In my whole life, just two,” I snap, resentful at the tone he used to describe my past.
Denham winces and tries to find the words to dig himself out of this hole but can’t seem to manage it.
“Look, Denham. I know you’re worried,” my voice softens, “but, really, it could have been from anyone, maybe it was for one of the other girls and the delivery guy was mistaken?” I ask.
“Well … I suppose …”
“I mean, I thought it was from you after all of the others you sent, but—”
“What did you just say?” he asks in a dangerously low voice.
“Uh …” I look nervously between Denham and Beth. “I thought …” oh shit …
“You were sent others?” he asks, rising slowly from his chair.
“Yes,” I answer in a small voice that’s now starting to quiver. Not because he’s scaring me, it’s because it’s just dawned on me that all the others weren’t from him. The glass drops from my hand, and my purse follows, spilling the contents across the floor of the office.
Then Denham is in front of me, holding my shoulders and crouching to look directly into my eyes “When? When, Arianna? And where are they?”
“Every day,” I whisper. “Every day, a new rose would appear in my room. I thought …” The breath catches in my throat. “I-I thought they were from you.”
“Fuck.” He curses under his breath, then roars, “Fuuuuck!”
“Denham.” Beth tries the calm reasonable approach, but it’s clear that even she is worried about the reaction he’s had to this.
Denham paces back and forth, a few steps at a time before turning in the opposite direction; he runs his hands through his hair and rubs the back of his neck in agitation, then turns to look in my direction.
“Fucking hell, Arianna. You didn’t think to tell me?
How am I supposed to keep you safe when you don’t tell me things?
” He uses a tone that I’ve not been on the receiving end of before, and I don’t like it.
In fact, it makes me want to cry. The whole situation makes me want to cry, and I press my lips together tight to hold it all in.
I’m pretty sure I know who the roses are from, and the reason I know this, is that there isn’t anyone else that would do something so fucked up.
It makes me feel sick to my stomach to think that I admired those seemingly innocent flowers, presuming they were a token of affection, and thoughtfulness.
Well, it seems that someone put some thought into them, and I can’t bring myself to think about what that means from here on in.
Denham grabs my shoulders. “You didn’t think I’d want to know that someone sent you flowers? Do you know who sent them? Was it one of your exes?”
It makes my stomach drop to hear him say it like I’m a black widow, and there’s a whole string of men behind me.
Men that I’ve left in such a way, that they all come looking for me and want me back.
“I didn’t know it was … I didn’t know,” I plead with him to believe me.
I’m so angry with myself for not making the effort to say thank you to him for sending them, we could have been clued in way before now.
But I don’t deserve to be yelled at. Hell, I don’t deserve any of this.
“Fucking hell, Arianna,” he roars through frustration, the brandy on his breath coming at me fast and forcing the tears I’m trying to hold back, to come to the surface.
I’m about to let out a torrent of retaliation, it’s the first time that I’ve felt angry at him and I resent the fact that he’s made me feel that way about him, but Beth flies out of her seat and is between us in a flash.
She pushes Denham back with her hand on his chest. “Now, that is enough. I won’t have you talk to her like that, King.
Sit down, take a few deep breaths and let’s talk this out. ”
He looks defeated as he takes a seat and picks up the brandy glass, swallowing what’s left in one big gulp.
He then pinches the bridge of his nose, and runs his hands down his thighs, letting a huge sigh from his chest. Beth is still standing in front of me when he stands from his chair and comes toward me again. More calmly this time.
“I-I’m sorry. Okay. Beth, please …” He gestures towards me with his head, as if asking permission to speak to me.
“Fine. But, no more yelling or laying blame, got it?” Beth jabs a pointed finger in his chest and fixes him with a warning glare.
“Yes,” he says softly, looking suitably told off before Beth moves aside and takes her seat behind her desk again.
“I’m sorry,” he says, gently stroking the backs of his fingers down my cheek.
He pulls me in, molds me to him, and cradles my head in his hand.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers into my hair, nuzzling and placing small kisses everywhere his lips touch.
It doesn’t take more than a few kisses and his skin touching mine, to soothe the frustration I was feeling just a moment ago.
Nerves are on high alert, and the tension is pulsing from all of us.
I don’t want him to feel bad. He didn’t frighten me. I know he would never hurt me. He made me feel guilty for not seeing what was in front of me, and for making the whole situation possibly a lot worse by letting my guard down and thinking I could move forward with no complications.
“I should be protecting you, Ari. I haven’t done a very good job of it, have I?”
He thinks he failed. That’s why he got so mad.
“Denham,” Beth says, pouring herself another large drink.
“Neither of you could have stopped whatever is going on here. I’m guessing it has something to do with your past, Arianna?
And if I’m correct, which I usually am, if it hadn’t happened now, it would have happened another time soon.
So, you just need to be grateful you have each other, and a whole circle of friends and family, who will do whatever it takes to sort this out. Are we on the same wavelength?”
Denham holds out his arm and Beth comes forward and dips in underneath it, so he has both of us wrapped up.
I’m pretty sure that Beth is one of the few women I will be comfortable with Denham being close and affectionate with.
I don’t know why I don’t feel threatened or jealous over her, I just don’t.
Beth places her hand over mine and winks.
“Okay, enough. I have somewhere to be. Where are you going from here?” Beth asks, checking her watch.
“Well, we obviously can’t go back to The Kingdom. But I suppose we’ll have to go back and pick up some clothes and necessities. I’ll get Spike and Jack to do a sweep of the place to make sure there’s no one there—”
“Denham …”
“I know just the place where we can go, we’ll go for a week or, or as long as it takes … Beth? That’s okay with you?”
“Denham,” I say, louder this time. “I am not going anywhere.”
“Yes, we are.”
“No, we are not.” I loosen myself from his arm and stand in front of him with my hands on my hips.
“We can’t …”
“We can’t, what? I’ll tell you what we can’t do … We can’t keep backing away from reality. I’m fed up of running. I’m tired of being the mouse in this sick game.”
“But …”
“No. I won’t do it. Whoever this is …” I hold a finger up to silence Denham before he speaks. “And we don’t know for sure that it’s Jonny, I will not let him or anyone else win.”
“But it could be dangerous …”
“Or there could be a simple explanation, like your crazy assed ex-girlfriend, thinking she can play a few mind games. It wouldn’t be the first time now, would it?”
“No.”
“Well then. That’s settled. We carry on as normal.
I want to work. I want to go out for coffee with my mom, and yours for that matter.
I will not hide away like a timid little mouse any longer.
If it means I am free for fifty days or fifty years, I am going to make each moment count.
I am fed up with living like a caged bird, watching everyone else go about their daily lives, but not being able to live for myself.
” I make my little speech with a steely determination in my voice and surprise myself at just how much I mean it.
I’m not just saying it to put Denham and Beth at ease.
I’ve realized that if you want something in this life, then you have to reach out and grab it with both hands.
I’m done being weak and manipulated. I want freedom. I want happiness and I want a future.