Chapter 17 #2
“You have to have faith, you know,” he says, all the while, he’s standing like a sentry guard, eyes constantly scanning the corridor ahead of us.
“Are you a bodyguard, Jack?” I ask, still puzzled at his position in Denham’s life.
He laughs low. “No.”
“Then what are you?”
“I’m just … Jack,” he says cryptically, finishing with a shrug.
I find the coffee machine and pull out some change from my clutch.
I pull my cell out and contemplate calling my mom.
I don’t know what she can do to help, but she’s the person I feel I can turn to.
Just hearing her voice; it always makes everything feel better.
But I don’t. It’s late. She’s probably asleep; besides, I don’t want to upset her until we know what’s happening.
But I glance at the screen and see that I have a message.
Sliding it open, I see that it’s from a number that hasn’t been stored under a name in the memory.
When I press my finger to open the message, the words stop my heart from beating.
You ready to come back to me yet?
That can only be one person. The only person in the world that’s capable of wrecking my life and causing so much pain. Did he do this? Is it all down to him? It was a chance hit and run, wasn’t it?
I can’t … I can’t process it all. I just need to know that Spike’s alright. I need to know that he’s alive and he’s going to be okay.
When I get back to the family room, Dana has joined Denham and Lottie, and Denham sits protectively with her, his hand in hers.
“Here,” I offer Dana my coffee and she takes it blindly. She’s in shock. Lottie’s in shock, and as usual, the person holding everyone together is Denham. How’d he get to be so strong? How did his shoulders get so broad that they could carry the weight of the world on them?
“Any news?” I ask.
He shakes his head. I sit in the space between him and Lottie and rest my head on his shoulder.
I just want him to know I’m here for him, for them all.
But I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know what to say to ease the tension or make this situation any better.
And now, I’m questioning if I’m the reason he needs to be strong this time.
Lottie curls into my side, and I put my arm around her, she lets out little sobs that catch in her throat as she breathes, and every now and then she wipes silent tears away from her cheeks.
It’s been so long that we’ve been waiting for news, that I must have closed my eyes. I think it must be hours later that a surgeon enters the room and makes everyone jump up with expectation.
Dana and Lottie scramble to stand, and both start firing questions at him immediately.
“How is my son?” Dana asks. “Is he going to be okay?”
“Can I see him please, I need to see him,” Lottie says desperately.
The surgeon holds a hand up to halt their questioning and speaks in a soft voice.
“Preston had some internal bleeding which we’ve been able to stop, but he also has some swelling around the brain from the impact.
We will be keeping him in an induced coma for the next twenty-four hours while we keep a close eye on his condition.
” On the word ‘coma’, Dana gasps and clamps a hand over her mouth and Denham puts his arm around her shoulders.
“There’s damage to his spine, several fractures that we’ve pinned, but until he wakes up, we can’t be sure of the extent of these injuries. ”
“His spine?” Denham questions. “Do you mean he’s going to be—?”
“We’re unsure what the outcome is at this stage. What it does mean is that the next twenty-four hours are critical. We will do the very best we can and take it hour by hour.” He nods and leaves the room.
His visit lightened the air for the split second when he told us Spike is alive, but the air is now black and heavy with the uncertainty of the words coma, and spinal injuries. Does this mean he might not wake up? Does it mean that if he does, he might be paralyzed?
This small room starts to suffocate me, and I feel like the walls are closing in. Denham comforts Dana, and Lottie curls up in a ball on one of the chairs in the corner.
“I need air,” I whisper. Denham gives me a curt nod, and I don’t waste time in getting out of there. Am I using my old defense mechanism of running from the problem?
The corridors echo with the sound of bleeps, whirrs, and the sobs of loved ones. It’s a place full of emotion, yet so clinical and cold.
I step through the heavy double doors and drop back against the wall, filling my lungs with the night air.
I don’t know what time it is, too late, or too early depending on the way you look at it, but I don’t care.
The time of day doesn’t change a single thing.
In this instance, the daylight wouldn’t make tonight’s events any more bearable.
The more air I breathe in, the more clarity my head gains.
My past has tainted more lives than just my own.
Ignorance made me pass off the coincidences.
Tara. Spike. Even the trouble with Amy. It all comes back to one person, and his obsession to possess me.
There are no coincidences, Arianna. I’ve controlled every situation you’ve been in, even the ones you can’t quite remember yet. I always have done. Always will do …
Why me? What is it about me that makes Jonny so determined to ruin not only my future, but risk other people’s lives and destroy them in the process?
I barely register the black sedan that pulls up in front of me through the mascara-streaked tears I’m crying. The tinted window slides down, and the engine keeps running.
When my blackened tears slow, and my eyes clear enough for me to see, I know what I have to do.
The handle clicks under my fingers, and the door opens easily. I hesitate for half a beat, but the vision burned into my brain of Spike lying on the sidewalk covered in blood makes me more determined to do what I’m about to do.
I slide onto the passenger seat without looking at the driver. I know who it is.
“It’s about time, beautiful girl,” he says, sliding his hand across my thigh.
“Fuck you,” I spit, knocking his hand away.
He laughs and then pulls away.
We drive out of the city. I don’t know where we are going and I don’t care.
My life is over.
When I left Jonny and started again, I thought it would be okay. I had never judged the depth of his obsession for me, and if I did have an inkling, I ignored it.
Stupid Girl.
He was right all along.
How did I think I could be free?
I was never free; he just gave me that illusion for a while, so the pain would be greater when I eventually came back.
He was right. Physically, he never made me come back to him. I came of my own free will. I walked to his car. I opened the door. And I got in without a second thought.
But mentally, he backed me into a corner and dragged me kicking and screaming.
At every turn, I am tied. I am bound, gagged and helpless against the invisible ties he has imposed.
Silently blackmailed into giving myself to him, with no way out.
I would rather die than relive a life with him.
But I won’t be the cause of someone else’s family being torn apart.
I don’t want to be the reason that Spike is lying in that hospital bed fighting for his life.
But it’s all because of me. And I won’t let anything else happen.
I know Jonny was the cause of this. I know he has been behind every underhanded situation that Denham has found himself in since he met me. The whole mystery with Tara was probably his doing too. And it stops here.
The thought of Denham’s worry when he realizes I’m gone chokes me.
But the thought of the hurt and pain I could cause, the damage I’ve already caused, threatens to suffocate me.
His family is everything to him. And I’m just a crazy girl he met just weeks ago, who flipped his world upside down and put them all in danger.
Classical music plays quietly in the background, and the bright city lights fade, flashing past as we drive away from the only happiness I’ve ever had.