Chapter 36
Eva
Iwaited until Seb was asleep just like I always did, holding my breath and trying to blend with my shadow, but Cooper always knew.
I think he actually waited for me. Although he would never admit it out loud.
He couldn’t possibly let me know he liked times like this.
Liked when it was the two of us, the lights were off, the quiet hum of the old fridge in the kitchen the only sound.
He was slouched on the lounge in the same spot as always, eyes heavy but aware.
Sliding up next to him, I tucked my knees under my chin and leaned into him.
This had become our thing. The late-night moments, the unspoken understanding, and the weight of our bodies.
Our only contact coming from the angling of my body, the weight of his legs against mine enough to warm my entire life.
“What are you going to do now you’re finishing school?” I asked, watching him from the corner of my eye. He blinked, like no one had asked him this, like something coming after school never crossed his mind, so after a pregnant pause, I asked something bolder.
“Do you want to get married? Have kids?”
His laugh came too quickly. Too forced. “Nah,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “Love’s not for me, Evy. I’ll stay a bachelor and live the high life.”
I nodded as if I believed him. He always tried to sound untouchable when he was scared, and I was starting to know him better.
Like how he didn’t look at me directly anymore.
Not for too long anyway. And I wondered if it was because I’d changed.
My clothes fit differently, and I intentionally wore shorter pyjama shorts and chose tighter shirts when he was here.
And on those days as expected, I caught him looking more.
Only it was bittersweet because it also hurt how quickly he looked away.
But I still came downstairs. Because when it was just us, he let me see parts of him no one else got to, and that was as much as I was ever going to get from this beautifully broken boy.
After much umming and ahhing, a fifteen-minute FaceTime argument with Xavier, and some unsolicited advice from Mum, I finally decided to wear my hair out.
Styling it into soft curls, I let them fall loose over my shoulders.
The black dress wasn’t my original choice, but shopping with Marlee and Arna meant being bullied into whatever they thought looked good - and honestly, they were right.
I smoothed my hands down the length of the satin dress, admiring how it hugged my hips and made me look a little taller.
The thick straps framed my collarbones perfectly and I’d paired it with silver hoops and simple heels - though you could barely see them beneath the hem that swept just above the ground.
Wearing the engagement ring tonight felt almost fraudulent knowing it could be the last time. The charity ball was the final performance - the last box to tick - and then this was done.
The books at Golden Spades were sorted. I’d found the problem areas, uncovered the leaks and I was going to explain everything after the gala.
Tonight, with Cooper keeping his parents at bay using our fabricated engagement one last time, we’d completed what we came here to do.
I should have been happy. Overcome with joy that I could now begin the rest of my life, but I couldn’t shake the disappointment.
I’d known this was temporary - had known it for four months. But somewhere along the way, I dared to dream what a life like this would be like. A life with him.
If I took anything away from this, it was the certainty that I wanted love. I wanted a partner. A family. I wanted a love that was loud and raw and honest. A love that imprints itself on your mind, body and soul - no matter the time or distance.
And I was ready for it all.
With a final photo in the full-length mirror, I sent it to the girls and Xavier. Grinning when my phone pinged a few times.
WINTER
Wow! Wow! Wow!
ARNA
Oh, shit. Not only am I reconsidering my outfit, but my entire life. You are perfection.
FELICITY
Stunning! The hair out was a perfect choice. Send me all the photos tonight, ladies, sorry I can’t be there.
WINTER
I’m not sorry because it sounds like a lot of small talk, but I want photos too.
MARLEE
I actually just squealed.
So, then I had to show Sebastian why.
And hand on my heart, I think I saw a tear.
You are a goddess. I can’t wait to see Cooper try not to maul you all night.
I sent a love reaction to each of their messages, a little embarrassed by all the praise, but smiling, nonetheless. I was just replying to Xavi’s full screen reply of water emojis, when that familiar husky voice ripped me from my phone, his eyes wide with alarm.
“Christ.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
His gaze swept over me, head to toe, and I bit the corner of my bottom lip, suddenly shy. We hadn’t so much as brushed hands since the night of his father’s dinner and I was desperate to ask him what was happening. What we were.
“Evy,” he said, voice low, “you are beautiful.”
He stalked toward me, hands in the pockets of his suit pants and sleeves rolled up to reveal impressive forearms. For a second, I thought he might kiss me. He might tell me everything I’ve ever wanted to hear, only he stopped short, just beyond my reach.
“Thanks,” I grinned, uncomfortable under his close appraisal.
“If you can’t go all out for a charity ball hosted by your fake parents-in-law, when can you?
” The joke felt flat even to me. The reminder this was meant to end - painful.
But if I couldn’t enjoy one of the last times it was going to be just us, what could I do?
“This is a good look on you,” he murmured, stepping forward before his breath brushed my face. I busied myself adjusting his already-perfect collar, anything to keep my hands occupied while he was this close.
Tenderly, he wound one of my curls around his finger and brushed the pad of his thumb across my jaw.
“Thank you,” he breathed, the soft curve of his lips a genuine mark of appreciation.
“Thank you,” I replied. “I got an email today - a big, fat congratulations and an invitation to graduation,” I gleamed.
“Congratulations.” He leaned in, pressing a kiss to my cheek and my eyes closed of their own accord.
A deeply masculine wave of spice enveloped me and my hands slipped from his collar to rest on his chest.
“You’ve always been beautiful, intelligent and driven,” he said.
“Now you have a degree to prove it. And, I have something for you. Been waiting for a moment like this.” He said, opening one of the drawers and pulling out a clear box displaying a watch.
Handing it to me, I admired the gift, loving the way the green of the watch face matched perfectly with the emerald of my ring.
A wave of emotion threatened to break through, but I held it back.
Now wasn’t the time for me to lose my focus.
“Coop, I love it, thank you. But why did you get this for me?”
With another soft brush of his lips against my cheek, he cupped my face in both hands and looked into my eyes.
“Because I’m sick of you asking me what time it is,” he said, a grin tugging at the edges of his mouth.
“It’s also a thank you for everything,” he added.
“Not just the work stuff - but for playing pretend. For lying to people you care about… for me.”
I looked at him, heart tugging, a flicker of nerves dancing beneath the surface.
My internship and being here was really, really almost over - I realised lucidly.
This chapter, this strange closeness we’d shared could very well come to an end tonight, and the thought tightened something in my chest.
“Don’t thank me until after our meeting on Monday,” I said, managing a crooked smile, hoping the joke would mask the ache beneath.
“Then I guess I’ll save the real thank you for after,” he said softly, eyes searching mine.
A pause.
Something almost rose to the surface, but he swallowed it back, the moment slipping between us, and I wondered what he was thinking. “You’ll still be around after though, right?”
That little boy was lingering just below the surface, and I wanted to reach out and grab him. Tell him he wasn’t alone, didn’t have to be alone.
“Of course,” I said instead. “I’ve loved the city, so I’ll be living close by, but you just won’t have to pretend to love me anymore.” I tried to make light of it, but the joke limped out awkwardly.
He didn’t laugh. Just stared at me with a faint crease between his brows, something unspoken flickering in his eyes.
Then, barely audible, he whispered, “Couldn’t, even if I tried,” before his lips met mine with an aching gentleness.
His hand brushed my jaw, steadying me like he wasn’t sure if I’d pull away, or worse, if he should.
I leant into it, feeling the reverence in the familiar stokes of his tongue against mine, like he was trying to memorise the moment, the feel of me, the way we fit together.
And it was with sudden clarity that I realised, it felt like a goodbye, disguised as something almost akin to love.
And too soon it was over.
He pulled back slowly, as if letting go of me hurt. I brushed my finger across his bottom lip, leaving a trace of my lip gloss behind - and he watched hesitant, as if he couldn’t look away.
The air hung heavy between us, thick with everything he couldn’t say and all the questions I didn’t dare ask.
“Let’s talk after.” He said eventually and I nodded.
“Okay. You ready then?” I asked, as if I’d been the one to come to him.
His nod was subtle as he reached for my hand, his eyes lingering on the ring he’d given me. And it was right on the tip of my tongue to ask him to talk to me now. To beg him for his thoughts, until he grinned that familiar, practiced smile. Only, the mask was back in place.
“The car’s out front,” he said, guiding me outside and my hope evaporated like steam.