Chapter 30
CLAY
“The fuck are you doing?” I ask Miles as I join him in the dark yard.
Most of the guests are inside, dancing and drinking and celebrating. The cold evening makes the hairs lift on my arms even through my shirt and suit jacket.
“Waffles needed to use the little Frenchies' room.” I follow his line of sight to see the dog in question, wearing a bowtie and pawing the lawn with enthusiasm.
“You’re freezing your balls off out here,” Jay grunts as he comes out, Coach on his heels.
“It’s exposure therapy. Good for the muscles,” Miles tosses back.
I glance toward the window. Inside, Brooke’s dancing with Nova and Chloe.
Tonight has been something else.
Nova looks gorgeous in that dress. I wanted to drag her off with me.
To touch every inch of her.
But it’s more than that.
So much fucking more.
I meant it when I said I was falling for her. That part wasn’t a lie, even if it would be easier if it were.
She’s the person who holds me down when I’m drifting, who lifts me up when I’m heavy.
She’s the best thing in my life.
In a few hours, I’ll show her.
“Wade.” Harlan’s voice makes me turn. “A word.”
He cocks his head, and the other guys head inside with murmured words of support.
Coach is the last one in, patting Harlan on the shoulder.
“I suppose this is where I say congratulations,” I say.
A waiter drifts past, offering champagne, and I wave him off.
“You almost seem like a romantic. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve guessed you were too busy decorating this place and visiting with your family to take LA’s calls.” I glance at his breast pocket, the outline of the phone there.
His eyes crinkle. “I don’t want to trade you, Clay. I believe in you and what you can do, even if I’m the last person you’d want as a cheerleader.”
“I’d say less cheerleader, more puppet master.”
My eyes narrow as I think of his manipulations.
“I know you didn’t appreciate my efforts to intervene in college. But I did it to protect your future. You were having an MVP season. I didn’t want to see anyone get in the way of that.”
The music blurs together in the background.
I look back to the window again. This time Nova’s in there with her sister, and they’re hugging.
“I saw you and Nova dancing.” Harlan changes the subject, and my shoulders tighten under my jacket. “For weeks, I was impressed she'd taken an interest in the sport. Her drawings were remarkable. But it wasn’t basketball that caught her eye.”
I don’t answer.
“I’m sure you know that she got offered her job back in Boston.” My head snaps up, and he can see immediately this is news to me. “She’s had a hell of a time, and it’s the fresh start she wanted. I hope you’ll let her have it.”
I stop the waiter on his return trip to the house and snatch a glass of champagne. “I might have to listen to you when we’re in the stadium, but I don’t take life advice from you anymore.”
“It’s not advice—it’s the truth. She’s never had the chance to stand on her own feet. Her piece-of-shit ex is out of the picture, and she can figure out who she wants to be. She won’t do that next to you.”
The words bury themselves deep in my chest, burrowing like shards of glass.
“What are you talking about?”
“To be truly great, you have to be relentless. To block everything else out. The only family is the other four guys on the court. You want glory, there’s a price.”
I toss the champagne back in one gulp.
Inside, Nova laughs, and seeing a smile on her face dissolves the pain for an instant.
She’s beautiful.
She looks around as if searching for someone.
Me.
It’s me she’s looking for.
I can give her everything.
I’ll buy her an entire studio where she can paint, fly her anywhere in the world to find the perfect tattoo, hold her hand the entire way there.
“Priorities change.” I turn back to Harlan, setting my glass on a table.
“So, basketball doesn’t come first.” It’s a question framed as a statement.
“She matters,” I say instead.
It’s not an answer. We both know it.
“I’m glad to hear that because it makes what I have to say next easier.
” Harlan studies me hard. “Feelings have a way of changing all our priorities, mine included. I hoped you’d become a legend here, that you’d give me the time to persuade you.
But you don’t want that. You want to play for LA.
Yes, I know about your little side project,” he goes on at my expression.
“Ordinarily we’d discuss it like equals, but I can see you’re beyond reasoning.
So,” he takes a breath, “if you give up Nova, I’ll trade you to LA.
You’ll be an NBA champion. You’ll have greatness, and she’ll have the chance to live her own life. ”
My knee throbs.
There’s a twisting in my chest.
No. The word is on the tip of my tongue.
LA is exactly what I wanted. But it doesn’t feel like enough.
I want to toss his offer back at him.
I can give her everything.
Except not the everything she wants.
I never thought I’d see things Harlan’s way, but in this moment, I get it.
He can’t give me what I need here.
I can’t give Nova what she needs.
What if he’s wrong? A voice whispers.
“You think I don’t remember what happened in college?” he prompts. “The fallout after, the shit you don’t talk about? You want to put that on her?”
My palms start to sweat.
I’ve been honest with her, more open than I’ve been with anyone in a long time.
Still…
There are secrets buried so deep we don’t ever talk about them.
Moments so dark they block out the light.
“Give her space to decide her future without the pressure of yours,” Harlan urges.
She wants her sister, forgiveness, a chance to stand on her own feet.
The throbbing gets worse. In my knee, in my chest.
Harlan holds out his hand.