5. CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER FIVE
Astaroth
G oblins of all shapes and sizes filled the arena, running the gauntlet and battling like their lives depended on it. It did. Some rode the backs of beasts, some the backs of each other, and others ran alongside on foot with weapons at the ready as they stood off against one another. Years we’d spent training. Old ones taught the young ones. Young ones worked with the new ones. Nothing fed morale more than bitter, angry men and women who were stripped of their memories and didn’t know why they were here or what was happening to them.
Mergle walked beside me clad in padded armor. With a watchful eye on our troops, he stopped to correct stances and kicked those in the ass who needed a push, as I oversaw it all.
“What do you think, my king?” Mergle asked as he loped to catch up with me.
I looked down upon his three-foot pride-filled frame. Though he was tiny, he was fierce. It made me curious how powerful he was in his natural state before it was siphoned from him.
“You have done well, my friend.”
He followed me up to the private box, and we settled in. I kicked my booted feet up onto the railing and stared out over the legion that would set us free. “Our numbers have grown epically. The army appears prepared. I think it’s time to make our move once we figure out how.”
“I agree. It is the how that concerns me.”
The how concerned me, as well. In the years I had been trapped here, I’d not found a way to return to Faery. I had, however, learned how to crossover into the human realm, found other worlds that were far bleaker than this one, but still Faery illuded me. Hopefully, not for long.
The stone was no longer dormant. Calista’s emotions flowed through it to me and to the realm alike. I could feel it studying her and waiting. That was a bit disconcerting.
I inclined my head. “I believe once the reservoir has returned, we will discover the way home.”
“Aye.” Mergle perked up. “And a queen on your arm would show a balanced, solid front.”
I barked a laugh. “I hear what you’re not saying, old one. Calista will not want this. She will fight at every turn.”
“You are powerful, but young. Pride can and will decimate anything it comes in contact with. If you approach the queen now, it will be a brutal attack, and she will turn all of Faery against you. King of animosity, revenge, and suffering. They will revolt if harm comes to her and will never follow you. Respect you out of fear? Undoubtedly. Trust that you will guide and protect them? No.”
I never said I wanted to rule Faery. The magic sang to me. I could feel the faint rhythm surrounding us, niggling on the edge —a relentless, subtle tease to the senses that left me unsettled. All I ever wanted was to go home, learn my heritage, and understand why I was placed here to die. Beyond that, I was uncertain what I wanted. I was never given a chance to choose something for myself.
That wasn’t entirely true. I staked a claim on something that will be mine.
“Calista will disguise your sharp edges, and make you appear formidable yet merciful, with the capacity of a barbarian lying in wait. And, perhaps, one day, it will not be a disguise. Perhaps, one day, you will be the omnipotent ruler I know you will be. That requires a loyal partner who trusts you and lays their head within the maw of your inner beast, leaving their existence at your mercy. One who sees straight to the driving force hidden within you that only your other half can.” Haunted, Mergle extinguished the pain of betrayal emanating from him and turned to me. “You have a lot of work ahead of you with that one. Do what you must. Get inside her barriers and rule her. Make her believe. If you win her, you can win all of Faery.”
I wondered what Mergle was able to cling to from his previous life. The old ones who survived after my arrival couldn’t recall who they were beforehand. All their stitches came loose, and their tapestry of memories unraveled one by one to feed the voracious realm, leaving them confused and volatile. Some could vaguely recall why they were here. Others remembered faces they sketched on parchment and the feelings they associated with them.
I wasn’t sure when Mergle arrived, before or after me. He never said here nor there, and no one else could remember, but he had stitched over his pain, covered it with well-placed moments to disguise his own sharp edges. When it sifted to the surface, though, it was palpable. There was no escaping the tsunami that threatened to pull you in and become one with it. I relish the day he unleashes it on the battlefield, spikes everyone’s blood lust with his twisted desire for justice and retribution, and we drive fear into the heart of the matriarchy by merely stepping foot in her realm.
“You have great faith in my abilities.”
It wasn’t a question, but Mergle responded all the same. “Aye. The realm is dying. And with it, all of us. It is time to put those abilities to the test.”
I exited the box and began to climb the goblin-sized stone benches to the top of the arena. Mergle gave me many details to think about that weren’t a concern before. I paused on a step up and said, “What if I can’t?”
Mergle sighed. “What part of ‘make her’ confused you?”
I raised a brow at him and tried not to laugh. That wasn’t what I was referring to. “You must have forgotten who we’re dealing with.”
“You must have forgotten who you are,” he countered. “Scared, Astaroth?”
I had faced monsters, adventured into unknown terrain, rose up to rule this realm, and taken down rebellions who wanted a primitive existence instead of justice. I could battle all day, every day. That didn’t require trust—only respect and physical domination.
Love was a different warzone altogether. It required vulnerability and patience to maneuver other’s boundaries and put their trust in you first. It could be just as much a blood sport as any other battle, only this one could annihilate every facet of my being. Rejection and humiliation were shameful bedfellows. I knew because I’d felt it. I’d take battling for dominion any day over battling to win her heart… or protect my own. Was I scared? Downright petrified. Not nearly as scared as living without her though.
Fear was a challenge that got me off.
Excitement flowed through me, swirling the shadows in my eyes, slow at first but picking up momentum. The realm tugged at my senses, soothing me and urging me to return its missing piece, and in doing so it would return mine. The piece of myself I didn’t know was missing until Calista made her first appearance in my tapestry.
“Absolutely not, old one.”
Mergle threw his head back and laughed.