Chapter Nine
The next morning, Alisdair declared we were going out to hold court among the people since they couldn’t come to us.
He also claimed it was a great opportunity to let every skeptical and secretly resentful villager see the others paying tribute to me, and know that any more attacks against me would summon the wrath of all of Lumenfell.
His suggestions sounded reasonable and wise, and it would’ve been, if my husband wasn’t an evil bastard.
Alisdair strode alongside my litter proud and puffed up like a peacock faeriken.
There were no two ways about it. He fucked me so hard the night before, I groaned myself to a shaky, standing position getting out of bed that morning, then promptly collapsed on my ass.
I was sore all over, and I wasn’t walking anywhere.
Let alone traipsing from village to village.
Alisdair was only too pleased to present the litter, letting all and sundry witness the mess he made of me.
Despite the humiliation, the litter itself was a throne of beauty and comfort.
My platform had small, raised sides to hold the bed of silks, blankets, and pillows.
Starflowers and roses painted on the sides, and a small, carved headboard cradled my back.
Six men held me up by the handles while Talulla walked on the other side with grapes, apple slices, and a bowl of pranganuts.
I’d discovered a taste for the tart little fruits and I couldn’t get enough of them.
Our party made our way out of Lumenfell to another, smaller village two miles away, Dervlen.
“Stop,” Alisdair ordered, making the procession pause at the side of the path.
I peered over the side as he bent down, and gasped.
The most beautiful flower peeked out of the snow—its petals light and lovely as angel wings.
I thought no other flower could be as pretty as a starflower, but then I’d never seen this flower, a twin of the butterfly—speckled, delicate, and flying with the wind.
Alisdair picked it and presented it to me. “For you, little bird. Delight in how even this flower’s beauty pales in comparison to yours.”
I glared fit to burn him where he stood. “Your pretty words and false gifts do not fool me. You don’t get to behave as a beast at night, and a gentleman in the light.”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “I resent the accusation that I was anything less than gentlemanly last night. Every time you said harder, faster, and deeper, didn’t I obey?”
My face caught fire amid the guards’ shifting glances and smothered chuckles. “I didn’t know what I was saying,” I cried. “The things you do to me... It’s like I lose my mind.”
“Then you’re halfway to me, my queen.” He tucked the flower behind my ear. “Because I lost my mind and all sense of control the moment I met you.”
If there was something to say in response to that, I didn’t know what it was. It was odd, but I was starting to get the feeling that somewhere along the way, Alisdair had stopped hating the pointless, decorative child of his most hated enemy... and had started respecting me.
That threw me even harder than his threats and cruelty.
Even so, that night, I covered myself in more dura dura fruit and jumped on the back of a shocked and squawking bird faeriken, warning him that if he didn’t want my husband to tear his wings off, he’d better fly fast.
We made it five miles out before a dark, growling figure burst through the trees. The poor servant was so terrified, he dumped his load directly in Alisdair’s hands and took off for the mountains.
Alisdair magicked us out of the Taken’s territory and into the war room, where he proceeded to bend me over the table on a map of Lyrica, then pounded me from behind. He said he wanted me to enjoy a good long look at Lyrica how it was, because the next I returned, it’d be nothing but rubble.
I screamed curses at him even while I screamed for another reason.
The night after that, I ran through the woods behind the castle—covering myself in all the starflowers I came across. My failing was continuing to mask my scent with stronger scents. I needed to be invisible, not a walking stink beacon. I should no more stand out than a blade of grass.
Glowing like an orblight, I found a cave and tucked myself in there for the night—jumping and twitching at every snapped twig or shifting shadow in the distance. It wasn’t Alisdair finding me that frightened me. It was the Taken finding me first.
I sat in the dark in the cave for hours and hours. So long, night began to fall away and I sensed the sunrise coming for me.
Alisdair laughed a second after I shouted with glee. He had found me an hour before, but decided to let me taste victory before he snatched it away.
On it went for a week, and then two. Every night, I stretched the limits of my cleverness to outsmart a beast, and every morning, I woke up sticky and sated beneath his arms.
On the fifteenth morning, I couldn’t recall Savia’s face.
I remembered her name. I remembered a sweet laugh, pudgy fingers, and the screams of kakkas who got a face full of her soiled wrappings, but try as I did, I couldn’t remember what my youngest sister looked like.
I sat at the vanity, methodically combing through Emiana’s long and lovely hair. Behind me, Alisdair lay on the bed—his true form unleashed. I gazed at him, then at the delicate, glass comb trapped between my fingertips. How easy it would be to break it, then plunge the jagged pieces in his throat.
And what a waste of time that would be. Precious, precious time that I was quickly running out of. There was no outrunning Alisdair Shadowsoul. No outsmarting him. No fooling him. And no killing him.
There was only one thing left for me to do. The one thing I swore I wouldn’t do. The option that wasn’t an option... because it was doomed to fail.
I glanced out at my unwanted kingdom—its people rising under the burden of a terrible curse. Just like me.
“Meya, never let it be said I don’t know when it’s time to stop fighting and accept your will,” I whispered. “I’ll do it, All Mother.
“I’ll make the man with no heart fall in love with me.”
I WATCHED ALISDAIR out of the corner of my eye. We were in the training yard. After that first lesson, Alisdair declared that every morning I’d learn the running of the kingdom, and every afternoon, I’d be in the training yard, learning how to defend it.
Despite my resolution to break the curse by making him fall in love with me, I had no idea how. I’d never been in love. I’d never seen love. I knew not a single thing about love.
That’s not entirely true, I thought. Mama used to tell stories about the things Papa did that made her fall in love with him. Stories about how even when she rolled out of bed with ratty hair and stale breath, he’d kiss her and say she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen.
Compliments. I stood up straight, nodding to myself. That’s as good a place as any to start.
I cleared my throat. “Alisdair?”
He paused his explanation, lowering his bow. He’d been in the middle of telling me how to aim for the eye. “What?”
“You... You look...” Truthfully, it wasn’t hard to think of a compliment for him.
He’d let his hair down that day, allowing his ebony waves to whip and roll with the wind.
At some point, he shed his cloak and shirt for training, and now all that stood before me was six feet of tall, hard, and handsome.
“You look well—nice—handsome,” I finally got out.
“You look very handsome today. Actually, not just today.” My face warmed under his gaze.
“You look handsome every day, but today you’re particularly. .. handsome. A very handsome man.”
He gave me a long, flat look—stretching out the silence until I could literally die from embarrassment. “All this I know,” he said flatly. “Are you finished?”
Lifting my chin, I nodded.
“Good. Now, take a breath before you notch the bow,” he said, returning to business. “That will steady your aim. After, you will...”
We continued on with the lesson. I wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed that he ignored my compliment, or relieved that he didn’t comment on my nervous rambling.
After the lesson, Alisdair strode off without a word or look back. Aeris ran over to take my bow and bundle me in a warm shawl.
“Where does he go in the evenings?” I asked her. “I mean, in the time after lessons and before he begins the chase. I am having my supper, but what is he doing?”
“Why, he’s having his supper of course.” She vigorously rubbed my arms, spreading warmth into my frozen limbs as we headed inside.
“So he does eat.”
She laughed. “Of course he eats. You say the funniest things, my lady.”
She may laugh, but I’d certainly never seen the man eat. Alisdair made sure I ate, by barking at the nearest servant to feed me, but he’d never sat down to eat a meal with me. I told Aeris as much.
“That’s because my lord takes his meals in the dining hall with us while you dine in your chambers.”
“What?” I halted, pulling her up short. “Why? Why am I eating alone? Did he decree that I had to?”
“No,” she cried. “It wasn’t my lord, it was...” Discomfort ruffled her feathers. “It was I who thought it best for you to dine in the peace and comfort of your chambers. I told our lord it was for the best.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I’m truly sorry, Lady Ana.” She grasped my hands. “We know what the other fae think of us. That we’re beasts and savages and we can’t control ourselves.” She winced. “All of those rumors are confirmed when you watch us eat.”
“Aeris.” I looked her straight in the eyes. “I will be eating with my husband and our people tonight. End of discussion.”
“Yes, ma’am. I will get you changed and ready right away.”