Chapter Thirteen #5
He shook his head. “The All Mother wouldn’t let her.
Meya made sure her location was discovered every time.
” He laughed—a short, harsh sound. “I tried to hide too, my queen, and then a cold and barren wasteland sprung up around me. The All Mother won’t stand for an immortal being any more than she’ll stand for not being obeyed.
Magic was a gift she gave us. It’s not our tool for disobedience. ”
I nodded slowly. “Alisdair, why are you telling me this now?”
“Because there is only this,” he rasped—eyes unfocused staring off in the distance. “There was always only this.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I didn’t ask. “So what happened to her?” I said instead.
He didn’t reply. For a minute I thought he didn’t hear me. “She fled. She had no other choice but to flee. Constance stole a boat and sailed out into a storm, looking for a safe haven.
“She found Elva instead.”
“Elva? Our Elva?” A stupid response, because of course our Elva, but my surprise was warranted. “How could a human stumble upon our land?”
“She was so strong by that point—bloated on the power of thousands of souls. She saw right through the protections around our land, and from the minute she arrived, she was determined never to leave.”
“Why?” I asked, although I had a strong guess.
“Think of the world she left behind, Ana. A twisted, ignorant, misogynistic hellscape where men and women have magic, but only the women die for it. But then she arrives here, and not only is magic free and abound, but women are respected and revered. They’re the leaders and rulers of matriarchies.
“Constance had discovered her destiny. She was meant to be here, live here, rule here... as high empress of Elva.”
It was my turn to bark a sharp, incredulous laugh. “Excuse me? She, a human, thought she was destined to be ruler of our home?”
“By that point she was completely warped by bitterness and hatred. Much had been stolen from her, so she decided even more was owed to her in return.” He shook his head.
“We were still simple people then. Farmers and traders. Half of us hadn’t left the forest yet.
We had our own way, and it was right for us.
“But Constance only saw ignorant, long-eared simpletons. We needed her to educate us and lead us into modernity. That’s why she determined she was to be our empress.
She was the only one with the knowledge and power to lead us into the future, and she would make that happen by any means necessary.
Elva was her prize after a lifetime of suffering. ”
My lip curled, mirroring the same scorn on Alisdair’s scarred face. What disgusting arrogance. To see a group of peaceful people living a different way from you, and take it upon yourself to decide their way was wrong.
“I take it all didn’t go to plan.” I scoffed. “Or at least, I pray it didn’t.”
He laughed. “Oh yes, little bird. We long-eared simpletons put up quite a fight. Much more than she bargained for. Every attempted coup was foiled and put down. She was thrashed within an inch of her life by Gisela Raekin herself. And when we discovered her fear of a simple little thing like fire...” He hissed.
“She was chased right back into hiding.”
I didn’t fight off my grin. “They discovered a way to hurt her even though she was cursed to transfer pain?”
“Ash from an oak tree. They coated themselves, their fists, and their weapons with it. Constance wasn’t so arrogant then.
” He grinned back. “I myself don’t know how they figured out that trick, but they did.
You are descended from the brightest and strongest women of an age, and you prove yourself brighter and stronger every day.
Never forget that, my queen. Never forget how proud you make them. ”
My insides warmed. Not because he said something wonderful. He’d been saying wonderful things about me since we met. I warmed because this time, I knew he meant them.
“Were they able to drive her out?” I asked. “Kill her for good?”
His grin faded away. “How I wish they were. But she was too strong, Ana, and stupid is a word she’d never been called. Our queens proved to be too fierce to defeat... so she created the binding spell.”
I shot up, eyes blown. “The bind— The binding spell?! She created it?!” My mind spun—thrown in the whirlwind of everything I thought I knew flushing down the gutter. “But how? Why! How could she do that to faewomen after what was done to her?”
“To Constance, the bonds of sisterhood only extended as far as unquestionable loyalty to her ended. They became a threat to her, so she ended the threat with a single spell—binding their magic forever.” He sighed, dropping his head.
“As you know, knowledge of the spell traveled far and wide, and Elva was forever changed.”
“Because of her,” I croaked. “Some random evil human bitch that never belonged here in the first place.”
He just nodded.
I sat down hard, staring in disbelief at the same spot Alisdair chose in the wall. “Why didn’t I know this?” I whispered. “Why haven’t I ever heard of Constance or what she did?”
“Because all knowledge of her and what she did was erased,” he replied. “By me.”
My lips parted, but nothing came out.
“When she went into hiding, of all the villages she could’ve chosen, she wandered into mine.
” He turned to me, smiling mirthlessly. “If you think me handsome now, you should’ve seen me when I was young and in my prime.
I couldn’t walk in a straight line for all the women throwing themselves at my feet. The men too.”
I snorted, though my mind summoned the image all the same. Alisdair even handsomer than he was now? If such a thing were possible, I would’ve surely been one of the women shackling myself to his ankle, unwilling to let his beauty out of my sight.
“Constance coveted me from the moment she saw me. She cared not that I was already mated and had three children.”
The truth would’ve shocked me if I had any left to give. I just took his hand, lacing my fingers through his. “You had children.”
“Three beautiful daughters. Just as quick, mischievous, and perfect as their mother, Raelina.”
I squeezed my eyes shut—an emotion I couldn’t name rising up and strangling my tears before they fell. I wasn’t sure at first, but right then I knew. This wasn’t simply any historical tale. This was a story of tragedy and woe, and I’d be forever changed after it was told.
“The Raelina?” I whispered. “The Raelina that Salman...?”
There was pause, then he nodded. “Constance pursued me relentlessly, growing more and more enraged with every rejection. Meya owed her, you see. Not one but three of her lovers were murdered by mobs and witch hunters. Now that she had found love again, she refused to let a little thing like my free will stand in her way.”
I was already so sick, I nearly threw up. “What did she do to you?”
“It wasn’t what she did to me. It was what she did to Raelina,” he said. “One day, I came home, Raelina was gone, and that woman was sitting on my couch—cool, calm, and braiding my daughter’s hair as if she was exactly where she belonged.
“She told me she’d locked Raelina away somewhere. Trapped her in an inescapable prison, and if I wanted her to ever emerge alive, I’d leave with her right then and never look back.
“With her hands that close to my child’s throat, I agreed. I didn’t have a choice,” he growled, anger bleeding into his voice. “I left with her, hoping that if I did, she’d free Raelina, and my loves would be together and safe.”
“But she never did.”
He shook his head. “She held Raelina’s imprisonment over me like a puppet master tugs the strings.
I tried to free her. I tried to kill Constance and free us all, but she never let me anywhere near a thing resembling a crystal.
Even when I summoned the power, I couldn’t store it, so I had one shot and one shot only.
“I missed.”
“Oh, Alisdair, I’m sorry.” I rubbed his hand, trying to spread my love and comfort into him, but I knew it was as useless as my sorry. Nothing anyone said or did could make what she’d done to him better.
“She was never going to let us go,” he continued like I hadn’t spoken. “And all the while, my girls were alone. So, I escaped her and ran back to them again and again—each time finding a new hiding place and a new hope that she’d finally give up and wouldn’t find us. But every time she did.”
“What was wrong with her? How could she be so sick and obsessed?”
“I don’t know, but sick and obsessed she was. She got it into her head that I kept running back to my children because we didn’t have a few of our own.”
“Oh no,” I breathed, clapping my hand over my mouth.
Alisdair fixed back on that spot on the wall.
“She violated me over and over again—shoving so many love and lust potions down my throat it’s a wonder I didn’t drown from the inside out.
But for all her magic, there was one single truth she couldn’t defeat, and it drove her deeper into madness and obsession. ”
My voice was soft. “What was the truth?”
“We’re not the same species. We cannot reproduce.”
My head slowly bobbed. Of course it was as simple as that. Meya was exacting in her rules. “But again, she didn’t give up, did she?”
“No. The opposite. She got it into her head that her becoming a summer fae was the key to everything. She’d belong in Elva if she was fae. We’d accept her as empress if she was fae. I would love her and she’d give me a better family... if only she were fae.
“She put herself and innocents through indescribable, torturous experiments all for the sake of trampling the laws of nature, and the result was just as hideous as the acts.”
“She didn’t become fae?”
“She became something resembling fae. The right appearance, the right mannerism, the same affinity with nature, but if you got close enough to her. Truly saw into her heart, you’d feel it,” he hissed. “That she was wrong.”