Chapter Fifteen #3
The yellow, gossamer gown clung to every part of me, softer than a whisper and lovelier than a sunrise. A tight, beaded bodice glittered with onyx jewels, as stark and striking as the yellow-and-black spotted wings rising from my back.
I didn’t know for certain whose idea it was to turn me into a butterfly, but I wept to see myself in the mirror. Just like Eadaoin said I would.
It wasn’t that it was beautiful, or unique, or expensive. It wasn’t that the pattern of the delicate wings continued down my skirt, making it so I looked like I could take flight that very moment.
No, I cried because this dress was me. Emiana hated yellow, and she thought butterflies were no more than nasty bugs. It’s the true me who loved and would’ve chosen such a magnificent gown for her wedding day, if such a day had ever been possible for her in more than her daydreams.
As I walked, all the well-wishes and congratulations faded, their eyes widening to behold me. All except for one.
Aydan, the little fox boy, made faces at me as I walked past, mimicking the funny ones I made to him the many times we played. Laughing, I screwed up my face right back, sending him running away cackling.
I was giggling when I stepped up to the altar, and took his hand. Alisdair pulled me up and drew me close, snapping me to his chest. Swooping down, he captured my lips—exploding suns and stars behind my eyes as our tongues tangled, caught in their unending battle dance.
Breaking away, I laughed. “I’m pretty sure the kiss is supposed to come at the end, husband.”
“Rules only apply to those too weak to break them.” He kissed me bold and free—grinning against my lips. “That’s never been me, or you.”
Foalan, our officiant, cleared his throat—forcing me to step back, though I didn’t let go of his hands. “Let us begin. One and all, we are gathered here in these hallowed halls to witness the joining of Lord Alisdair Lumenfell, and his queen...” Foalan looked to Alisdair, who nodded.
“His queen,” Foalan continued, “Shoua Callidora of Lyrica.”
My smile froze.
“Callidora...”
“Callidora, where are you, faywen?”
“Calli, come play!”
“Callidora, ha! Terrible name for such an ugly girl.”
“Meya, we ask your blessings for this union.” Foalan brushed an oil-covered thumb across my spinning, drowning head, then did the same to Alisdair. “Lord Lumenfell, it is time,” he began. “Make your vows before the All Mother.”
“Wait...” I choked. “I—”
“Do you, Lord Lumenfell, vow to care for, honor, and obey Shoua Callidora?”
“I do.”
“Wha— What’s going on?” My voice was a thin rasp.
“CALLIDORA!”
“I don’t understand!”
“Do you, Lord Lumenfell, vow to give your title, your love, and your life to Shoua Callidora?”
“I vow to give you everything, Callidora, because I love you.”
My mind broke.
I clutched my head, screaming as two decades of a lifetime flooded my head.
Little Calli playing peek-a-boo with Mama.
Callidora and Meli singing while they hung the washing.
Riordan knocking on Calli’s door, inviting her out to play kickball with him and his friends.
Calli tickling Jaclan’s and Gisela’s feet under the covers, so their shrieking giggles covered the shouting fight Mama and Kirwan were having in the same room.
Callidora saying goodbye to her faywens outside her home, promising she’d come back.
No, not she. Me. It’s me!
One after the other, the memories crammed into my skull—splitting it apart. Darkness bled into my vision, dragging me to a peaceful, painless realm of unconsciousness as all the while...
I screamed.
“—DORA? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”
“Everyone, out! There won’t be a wedding here today.”
Those words drilled into my skull, peeling my eyes open. A blurred shape came into view.
“Wake up.” Alisdair leaned over me, holding me in his arms. He brushed the hair from my forehead. “You don’t have much time.”
“What’s... going—?”
“It’s Aya Olene. She and Meliora have been arrested for treason. They’re to be executed tomorrow at daybreak!”
I bolted upright. “Mama!”
“Good,” Alisdair said, “you already know what’s going on. Callidora, you don’t have much time.”
“Calli,” I blurted. It all came back to me. Every single second and every memory of my life, including the long months I spent losing it. “No one calls me Callidora. It’s old-fashioned and embarrassing. It never suited me. It means—”
“Beauty.” Alisdair grinned that grin, making my heart stop. “A name never suited anyone on this earth more.”
Even with everything going on, he could still make me blush. “But you can’t say that,” I cried, pushing him back. I looked around at the wedding that would never be as the last guests left through the main doors. “You don’t know what I truly look like. You don’t know so many things!”
“Don’t be ridiculous, woman. Of course, I know what you look like. Why do you think I got so angry when I found you snooping in the tower? You were about to tear the covers off the portraits of you. The real you.”
“What? How? Why!”
“Come on.” He helped me to my feet. “There’s a lot to say, and not much time to say it. Follow me. Don’t waste time with questions.”
“But I—”
Alisdair grasped my hand and took off. I hoisted up my skirts, fighting to keep up.
“I’ve known you weren’t the princess since you plunged a sword in my chest,” he announced, dropping my jaw.
“I told you so in the carriage ride that first day. Every report on Emiana said she was a meek, wilting flower whenever her father’s disappointed gaze turned her way.
But then suddenly, a tough, crass, violent, warrior of a woman was standing before me, promising to be the nightmare you became. ”
“Hey!”
He chuckled. “I know of few things that can cause such a drastic personality change. A body-switching spell was top of the list.”
We bolted through the castle, going where I had no idea. I had to get to my mother, my sister, my family!
“But if you knew the whole time,” I huffed. “Why did you marry me? Why didn’t you let me go?”
“It’s not that simple. That fool girl didn’t have a fucking clue what she was doing when she decided a curse would solve all of her problems,” he growled.
“If that’s what they did, they’d have another name.
” We raced around a corner. “I’m amazed she even completed the curse without outright killing you both. ”
“She practiced,” I recalled. “She tested it out on servants first, and killed them all.”
He cursed. “That doesn’t surprise me. It only sickens me that she kept going, and didn’t take it for the warning it was.
” Alisdair shook his head. “But it was what it was. When I realized what curse took hold of you, I confess, my first thought was to toast my good fortune. You were the heir to Lyrica in anyone’s eyes.
You were the key to my victory over Lyrica, and Salman’s head on a pike. ”
That truth didn’t sting. Alisdair had told me as much when he made me his mate.
“That being the case, I had to protect you,” he said. “By making sure you couldn’t leave.”
“How did that protect me? I could’ve ended this horror so much sooner.” My heart twisted. “We could’ve been together in a true and honest way much sooner. Why did you do this?”
“We’re here.” Alisdair skidded to a stop before a door I didn’t recognize. Kicking it in, he tugged me over the threshold into a weapon room.
Weapons of all types, sizes, and lethality covered every inch of wall—from manmade to magic. An entire case to my right was filled with coudarian crystals.
“You’ll need this,” he said, taking down a bow and arrow.
“Alisdair?”
“I wish I had more time to teach you close combat. The bow seemed the right choice at the time, but now you need a weapon you can both handle and hide.” Alisdair crossed to a display loaded with daggers. “Oh well, we’ll have to make do.”
“Alisdair!” I shot to his side. “Why didn’t you free me sooner!”
He spun on me. “How was I to do that before we were in love with each other? I told you, it’s a curse, Calli. It leaves no one with any good choices.”
The hot ball of rage and betrayal burning in my chest shrunk, allowing me to breathe again. Of course, he couldn’t free me before he loved me. The imposter they shoved at him was a stranger in every way, and love took its own time. He was bound by the limits of the curse as much as I.
“All right, but why wouldn’t you let me leave?” I asked his back.
Alisdair was a whirlwind sweeping through the room, gathering every weapon I might need.
“Because I knew what you would do. You’d go looking for Emiana to force her to break the curse, and that couldn’t happen.
” A fist-size coudarian crystal thudded on the small table between us.
“Crossing paths with yourself would’ve snapped your mind in half.
No one could reconcile the contradiction of your mind being in your body, but your body isn’t your body, because your body is looking back at you. ”
My mind spun simply trying to follow that sentence.
“I’ve lived a long life, my queen. Of the few I’ve witnessed who survived the spell, they spent the rest of their days in an asylum, because one or the other tracked the body thief down—and it was the last thing they ever did.”
Alisdair went to the door and stuck his head out. “Foalan! With me, now!”
“But that still doesn’t explain why you didn’t simply tell me all of this? Or how you knew I was Calli?”
“Everything I told you about yourself would’ve faded along with everything else when Emiana claimed you.
” He finally stopped rushing about and came to me, grasping my shoulders.
“And most importantly, I had to be careful with you. I’ve never known a soul to successfully break this curse with their mind, body, and soul still intact.
Me continually telling you you’re Calli while your mind is shouting that you’re Emiana could’ve caused more harm than good. ”