Chapter 46
Iwill not cry.
On my way back up the stairs, I call Mikey. Packing doesn’t take me long. I never really got around to properly unpacking.
I will not cry.
I can’t wait inside the house for an instant longer than I have to. I haul my sorry shit down to the huge gothic front doors, and onto the cold stone step. I would drag it all to the road but as I remember, the driveway is at least half a mile long.
I will not cry.
After what feels like hours, and was probably twenty minutes in reality, Mikey shows up in a flashy SUV. When he jumps out, I want to hug him, but it will have to wait. I am not going to cry. Not here. He understands so well, it’s almost impossible for me to hold the tears back. I jump in the front of the car and curl up in the seat, like when he took me to school.
As Mikey flings my bags in the back, I see Carlo’s face in a misted second-story window. His mouth is tight and his head shakes, slowly.
I can’t let myself think about how good it all was. Or nearly was. And so very fucking nearly. Because then I’d have to look at what a wreck I made of it all.
“Onward and offward, Mikey.”
He doesn’t ask me ‘where to’ until we’re off the premises and a good mile away.