Chapter 11 Tigerlily
Chapter Eleven: Tigerlily
I can tell that Jax has been through something like abuse. Or witnessed it himself.
I see it in the way he watches me. Like he’s waiting for me to break. Like he knows what breaking looks like.
His face is stone cold. No expression. But his eyes—they’re worried. Deeply worried.
And that worries me.
Because I think Jax might believe my father is worse than what he really is.
Yes, he hits me. But it’s not often. Only when I’m out of line. Only when I deserve it.
“Can I use the bathroom?” I ask quietly.
Jax points behind his shoulder, his gaze tracking me as I walk past him.
I close the door and lean against it for a moment. The bathroom is small but it’s clean. Callum’s towels are navy blue and folded neatly on a rack.
I need to shower and get these thoughts out of my head.
The water runs hot, and I step under the spray, letting it wash over me. But my mind won’t settle.
I know what’s waiting for me when I go home.
My dad’s going to kick my ass for running away. For the lies about a boy. For making him look bad in front of Elle.
A part of me wishes I could lie for a boyfriend.
That someone other than Zinnia would love me enough to want me around.
But that’ll never happen. My dad would never let that happen.
And I can’t imagine opening up to anyone.
Especially not the three men outside this door who think they can protect me from my dad.
They can’t.
I know I’m going to go back eventually. Everything I own is there. My sister is there. I have to face him eventually.
Taking the night to let him cool off is probably enough.
But then I imagine seeing his face. The anger in his eyes. The disappointment.
I’m not ready.
Just one more day. One more night.
I’ll stay here and go back Monday after class. That’s manageable. That’s a good plan.
I reach for Callum’s body wash and almost smile.
The thought of a hockey player shopping for body wash seems so mundane.
So normal. It makes me feel lighter inside to imagine him in the store, wondering which soap to pick.
I can see him grabbing each bottle and smelling them until he decided on this one.
The thought calms me along with the scent.
When I step out of the shower, I wrap a towel around myself and open the door. Steam flows out with me.
When I walk across the hall, Jax is in the room.
“Oh,” I say quickly. Heat rushes to my face. “Let me just grab my things.”
“I’ll leave.” He moves toward the door.
“Jax?”
He turns to look at me. I automatically falter, blinking.
“What’s the Wi-Fi password?” I whisper.
He seems disappointed, as if I were about to ask him something else. He says, “I’ll tell Cal to share it.”
I nod, and he closes the door behind him.
I get dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt and open my laptop on the bed. Callum shares the Wi-Fi password.
A notification pops up almost immediately.
Once I’m connected, texts flood in.
A few from Elle, but that’s not what makes my stomach drop.
Zinnia’s name is at the top of the thread.
My little sister has texted me multiple times from her iPad.
I inhale sharply, afraid of what’s waiting.
Zinnia: Where are you?
Zinnia: We went to Elle’s.
Zinnia: Are you still with them?
Zinnia: Please come home.
Zinnia: Dad’s freaking out.
My chest feels heavy like someone’s sitting on it.
Maybe I shouldn’t wait another night. Maybe I should just go home now.
I think of an escape plan. Jax isn’t going to drop me off willingly. I need to figure something else out.
Elle.
I open her text thread, ignoring what she’s written.
Me: Can you come pick me up?
I tap my fingers on the laptop, staring at the screen. It’s Sunday. Elle shouldn’t have plans. She’ll see this soon.
Two minutes later, the dots appear.
Yes! I sit up straighter, crossing my legs.
Elle: Where are you?
Elle: Are you okay?
I type two words: I am…
Hoping that the option of sharing my location would pop up.
Shit. It doesn’t.
My laptop doesn’t work like a phone.
Me: I don’t know where I am.
Elle: Ask someone.
Me: I can’t.
Elle: Where the hell are you!
Elle: Do I need to call the cops?
My fingers fly across the keys.
Me: No, please don’t. Give me a second. I’ll get the address.
My stomach churns as I look at the closed bedroom door. Now I have to face them.
I leave the laptop open on the bed and walk out the door. My heart pounds as I move down the hallway.
The guys are spread out in the living room. Zephyr’s at the kitchen table. Callum’s sprawled on the couch. Jax is leaning against the counter.
“What’s the address here?” I ask.
Jax’s head snaps toward me.
Zephyr asks, “What?”
Callum sits forward. “Why?”
I point nervously toward the bedroom. “I’m going to have Elle pick me up. If that’s okay.”
“Wait, Tiger, you’re leaving?” Callum’s voice cracks slightly.
I nod as guilt floods my chest. These guys have done so much for me.
Jax glares at me, but his face is impossible to read.
Zephyr stands. “Isn’t your dad going to find you there?”
“I have to face him eventually,” I say quietly. “And this—”
They all stare at me, waiting for me to continue.
I inhale. My body trembles. I don’t want to explain.
I say, “What’s the address.”
Jax’s jaw tightens. “Are you sure it’s Elle you’re talking to?”
“Yes,” I say to Jax and then turn to the couch. “Callum?”
He looks at Jax, then Zephyr, then back at me. He rattles off the address like it hurts him to do so.
I repeat it in my head and hurry back down the hall, relieved to be out of their sight.
I type out the address to Elle.
Elle: Already in my car.
Elle: Coming.
Me: Thank you. I’ll be outside. Can’t text.
I pack my things quickly, hang the towel behind the door, and make the bed.
When I walk back out with my bag, all three of them are staring at me.
“So, that’s it?” Callum says.
I blink. I don’t know what to say, so I keep my eyes down.
Then Jax is moving. Fast. He’s around the couch in seconds.
“Wait, Tigerlily. What are you doing?”
I feel like I could cry. These three have been nothing but protective, and I feel like I’m betraying them in a way.
I need to be strong, though. I can’t feel bad. This was bound to happen.
I muster all the confidence I can as I say, “I’ll be okay.”
Zephyr’s behind me now. “What does that mean?”
I look down at my shoes. “It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before. I’m going to wait outside for my friend.”
“I’m going to wait with you,” Callum says immediately.
Jax steps aside and lets me through the front door. The cold air hits me like a wall. I walk down the driveway and stand near the curb.
Zephyr pulls my bag off my shoulder. “I’ll hold it for you.”
Now I have all three of them standing outside with me in the cold. Waiting.
The guilt is crushing.
“Thank you for everything,” I whisper.
“This isn’t goodbye,” Zephyr says firmly.
“Call if you need anything,” Callum adds. “You know where I live.”
Jax doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me with those intense dark eyes.
Then I see Elle’s car cut the corner.
Has it really been twenty minutes already? No, it’s been ten. She’s a fast driver. Relief washes over me when I see her face.
Elle’s eyes widen as she pulls up to the curb. She steps out of the car and stares at the three men standing around me.
“Who the hell are these guys?” she asks.
“Elle,” I mutter as Zephyr opens the back door and places my bag inside.
I turn to look at all of them one last time.
“Thank you,” I whisper. I turn to Elle. “Let’s go.”
She’s staring at them like they kidnapped me.
We get in the car and buckle our seat belts. I can tell Elle has a million questions. The guys stare at me, but I can’t look back at them, so I don’t.
We drive off.
“What are you doing holed up with three hockey players?”
I sink into the passenger seat. “You recognized them?”
“Of course! Once upon a time I thought they were the hottest things on the planet, and now…”
“Now?” I wince.
“Are you hooking up with one of them?”
I wince. “What? No.”
“Then why did they have that vibe?”
“They were just trying to help me, Elle. I don’t know.”
“How did you even end up with them?”
I let the silence fall between us as I watch the houses of Callum’s neighborhood disappear.
“I don’t know,” I say. I don’t want to delve into details right now. “Can you just take me home?”
She scoffs, “You want to go home?”
I nod.
Elle’s quiet for a moment. Then she sighs. “Okay.”
I stare out the window as we drive. The streets blur past.
My heart flutters.
I’m going back.
Back to my dad. Back to Zinnia.
And I don’t know if that makes me brave or stupid.
But it’s inevitable.
I pray that it’s not as bad as I think it will be.