Chapter 13 Tigerlily
Chapter Thirteen: Tigerlily
Elle pulls up to the curb outside my house.
The house looks daunting. I can feel its energy from here.
“You sure about this?” Elle asks quietly.
I flinch at her voice, forgetting that she was there.
She watches me with wide eyes. “You can stay with me if it’s that bad.”
If it’s that bad.
I suck in my bottom lip and shake my head. I have no words. I can’t speak. I open the door and step out into the cold, but Elle doesn’t drive right away. She waits, and that makes me look back at her. I need her to leave.
I walk up the path, and each step I take feels heavier than the last.
When the front door of the house opens, my heart slams against my ribs. I inhale, trying to ease my nerves. It’s not like he’s going to hit me right away.
I scan his face, seeing the hidden rage. He looks over my shoulder at Elle in the car. I finally hear her drive off. Great, he’s going to think she lied to him.
I step inside, and the front door closes behind me with a quiet click.
Then I see Zinnia. She rushes at me from the living room, arms wrapping tight around my waist. Her face presses into my stomach, and I feel her shoulders shaking.
“You’re back,” she whispers. “I was so scared.”
I kneel down to her level and cup her face in my hands. “Hey. I’m here. I’m okay.”
“Where were you?”
“I just needed some space. But I’m back now, okay?”
She nods, but her eyes are red. She’s been crying.
My dad watches the whole thing, silent and patient.
The two things that he is not. My pulse spikes, adrenaline rushes through me.
Will I run if he tries to hit me? Or will I stand there and take it?
What if I never came back and live happily ever after with three hockey players? What would my dad do then?
“Zinnia,” he says finally. His voice is soft and reasonable. The kind of tone that sounds calm to outsiders. “Go to your room for a bit. Let me talk to your sister.”
Zinnia hesitates and looks up at me.
I nod, forcing a smile. “It’s okay.”
She walks slowly down the hall and glances back once before disappearing into her room. The door closes with a soft click.
Now it’s just us.
My dad gestures to the couch. “Sit.”
I sit.
He stays standing with his arms crossed, looking down at me.
“I’ve been worried sick,” he starts. His voice is still calm. “Do you have any idea what you put me through? What you put your sister through?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I went to Elle’s house. She lied straight to my face. Told me she didn’t know where you were.” He shakes his head. “I had to drag Zinnia with me. She was terrified.”
Guilt twists in my chest.
“Then I find out you’re with boys, Tigerlily.” His eyes narrow. “The same one you said you didn’t know.”
“I wasn’t.”
He laughs. Not a real laugh. A cold one. Then he stops and leans in. “You have a sister who needs you. A home that needs you. And you ran off with strangers for the night.”
I want to tell them that I was safer with strangers than I was at home. I want to tell him that those hockey players are more of a man than he ever will be. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. His eyes widen like he’s daring me to talk back.
I whisper, “I’m an adult.”
“Really?” He tilts his head, lifting his eyebrows. “If you’re an adult, why do I pay for your college tuition? Why are you still under my roof? Why––”
I hate this. I hate feeling so small, like I don’t matter, like I’m incapable of taking care of myself.
“Who are these boys to you?”
My throat tightens.
He sits down across from me and leans forward. “Tell me about these hockey players.”
My stomach drops at his mocking tone. The way his eyes just narrowed when he said those two words. He’s trying hard to manipulate me, but I won’t give in––not when I know he’s playing games. I know Zinnia didn’t tell him where we went last night, and if she did, I can’t trust her ever again.
“What hockey players?” I ask.
His shoulders loosen, his expression softens slightly as he says, “I know their names already. Jax Kingsway and Zephyr Wickerham.” He ticks them off on his fingers. “Right wing. Right defense.”
My heart drops into my stomach. How does he know that?
He watches my face with pure pleasure. “I spoke with some people. Asked around. Turns out these boys have quite the reputation.”
My hands start shaking.
“Party boys. Troublemakers. The kind of guys who take advantage of girls like you.”
“I don’t—”
“Did they touch you?”
“What?”
“Did they try?”
“Dad!”
He leans back and studies me. “Why are you protecting them?”
“I’m not protecting anyone but myself.”
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “You’ve always been dramatic, Tigerlily. Ever since you were little. Exaggerating things. Making mountains out of molehills.”
My chest tightens. Is that true?
“The other night,” he continues, “I barely hit you. You know that, right?”
I stop breathing, remembering the searing pain across my face and my bloody lip. The blood stopped fairly fast and I ended up looking like I had lip filler.
“You startled me. I turned too fast. My hand caught your face. It wasn’t intentional. You don’t even have a mark, honey.”
“You—”
“You think I need some college frat kid to put me in my place?” His voice hardens just slightly. “I’m going to make sure you pay for it.”
I was feeling protective of my college frat boys, but that quickly deflates as he turns the tables back on me.
He says, “Why do you always do that? Why do you always make things worse than they are?”
I feel myself shrinking, folding inward.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a phone. It’s new. It’s still in the box.
“Your phone broke,” he says, setting it on the coffee table. “So I got you a new one.”
I stare at it.
“Go ahead. Take it.”
I don’t move.
“Tigerlily. Take the phone and say thank you.”
I reach out slowly and pick it up. The weight feels wrong in my hand.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“I already set it up for you,” he says. “Same number. All your contacts.”
This phone is to control me. I know he’s going to keep track of everything I do.
I just stare at it.
He watches me for a long moment, then he sighs.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” he says. Voice still calm. Still reasonable. “You’re not seeing those boys again. You’re not going to their games. You’re staying home to help more with Zinnia and the house.”
“Dad—” I try to protest, but he shakes his head.
“This is temporary,” he continues. “Until you prove you can be trusted again. Until you show me you’re a responsible adult.”
“I’m twenty,” I say quietly. “I have college. I have my own life. Sure, I can watch Zinnia because that was part of the deal, but––”
“You live under my roof, kid.”
“I know, but—”
“You eat my food. You use my car. You rely on me for everything.” He leans forward again. “So yes, you’re twenty. But you’re still my daughter. And you’ll follow my rules as long as you’re here. Understand?”
I open my mouth to argue, but tears fall from my eyes. I shout, “You have no idea––”
A door opens down the hall.
Zinnia walks into the room with tears streaming down her face. “Stop it! Please just stop!”
My heart aches for her.
I’m on my feet immediately. “It’s okay, Zinni. We’re just talking.”
“Stop fighting,” she sobs.
My dad’s expression softens instantly. “Sweetheart, no one’s fighting. I promise.”
But Zinnia’s eyes are locked on mine.
I cross the room to her, kneel down, and pull her into a hug.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t leave again,” she begs. “Please don’t leave me ever again.”
My throat closes up.
“Come on,” I say gently. “Let’s get you back to bed.”
I walk her down the hall to her room and tuck her in. I smooth her hair back from her face.
“Can you stay with me?” she whispers.
I nod. “Yeah. I’ll stay.”
I climb into bed next to her and pull the blanket over us both.
She curls into my side, still sniffling.
My heart is racing. My mind is spinning.
She cries, holding onto me. My heart sits heavy, feeling extremely guilty for leaving her.
I know I can’t leave her again. But I know I also can’t stay here forever.
At some point, I need to live my own life.
I hold onto her tighter, not knowing what’s going to happen in the future.
I can’t stay here until I’m thirty years old because I was afraid to abandon my little sister.
But leaving doesn’t seem like an option right now. It would set off my dad again. Make him angrier. Make things harder for her if I’m not around.
So I’ll stay. I’ll let his anger die down. I’ll listen to him. Do as he says. Help more with Zinnia and around the house.
I’ll be good.
I’ll be quiet.
I’ll disappear into the background until he forgets to be angry.
And maybe then I can figure out what to do next.
Zinnia’s breathing evens out after a million scenarios race through my mind. She’s finally asleep.
But I’m nowhere near tired as I stare at the ceiling.
I wonder what Jax is doing right now. My mind slips to Zephyr’s brown eyes, and then to Charming Callum. God, how can a man be that tall, smooth, and not serious? Zephyr and Jax are the opposite. They’re protective, quiet, and brooding.
I wonder if they’re thinking about me. If they know how badly I want to run back to them right now.
But I can’t, so I close my eyes.
And I pray tomorrow will be different.