Chapter 38 Tigerlily
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Tigerlily
When I open my bedroom door, the guys are quiet.
They’re sitting in the living room like they’ve been waiting. Like they knew I’d come out eventually.
I walk over and sit on the couch between Jax and Callum. Zephyr sits across from us in the single chair.
They notice immediately that I’ve been crying.
Jax reaches over and cups my face with his hand. His palm is warm against my cheek.
“What’s going on?”
More tears fall before I can stop them.
I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to be apart from Zinnia. I don’t want my mom rotting in prison for something she didn’t do. I wish my dad weren’t dead. I wish I hadn’t spent the past six years carrying this weight in my chest so heavy I couldn’t breathe. So heavy I couldn’t be normal.
And I want this with these three so fucking badly.
I lean into Jax’s hand and wonder if they’re going to judge me for what I’m about to do. For what I know is the right thing to do even if it destroys my entire life.
I have so much pain in my arm that I can’t stop crying. The pain is a deadly reminder of what I’ve been through, what I’ve put up with, and I can’t keep going like this. I just can’t.
“I—I—” The words won’t leave my mouth.
Callum touches my knee. I jump at the contact. Then I rest my sweaty hand on top of his.
“Take your time,” he says quietly.
I inhale. Cry when I exhale. My whole body shakes with it.
I bend my head down and sob. I can’t hold it back anymore.
Jax rubs my back in slow circles. Callum squeezes my knee. Zephyr reaches across the space between us and takes my hand. He brings it to his lips and kisses my knuckles.
“I don’t deserve you guys,” I cry.
Then I look up at the ceiling and try to wipe the tears away, but more just take their place.
I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want to be known as a liar for the rest of my life, but I think that’d be better than how I feel right now. I feel like I’ve already been killed.
“I don’t think my dad has bail,” I start.
They nod.
I continue, “Otherwise he’d be out by now.”
They make sounds of agreement.
I inhale and wince, “I think I might go to jail.” My voice breaks as I start to sob.
“What?” Callum asks sharply.
Zephyr’s hand tightens around mine.
“Why would you go to jail, Tiger?” Jax’s voice is careful.
“Because...” I take a moment to breathe. I force the words out. “Because Damien framed my mom for murder. And he forced me to lie in court.”
I swallow the lump in my throat.
Nobody breathes. Nobody moves.
I look up expecting shock. Judgment. Disgust.
Instead I’m met with rage and anger.
Callum stands up abruptly and starts pacing across the room like he can’t contain the energy building inside him.
Zephyr holds onto my hand tighter. His jaw is clenched so hard I can see the muscle working.
Jax leans back and keeps rubbing my back like he’s anchoring me to this moment.
“I thought I could…” I cry. It makes my arm hurt so much more as I cry.
“You’re lucky he didn’t kill you the other day,” Jax says.
I look up at him.
Zephyr stares at nothing as he says, “Yeah. Why didn’t he kill you?”
I shrug, asking myself the same thing. “I don’t know.”
Callum stops pacing and looks at me directly. “Is this why he was abusive?”
I nod.
“Sick bastard,” Zephyr mutters.
“And I did it because I loved him.” My voice cracks. “Like he was more of a dad to me than my biological father ever was.”
“I call bullshit,” Callum says casually.
Zephyr nods in agreement.
Jax crouches down in front of me. “The only person that man loves is himself, Tiger. He shot you. He didn’t care if you died.”
And it’s those words that undo me completely.
That thought that’s been sitting in the back of my head for years finally surfaces. The realization that his love had a purpose. That his fatherly affection came at a cost. That maybe it was all a game to him from the beginning.
“Did he do anything else to hurt you?” Jax asks carefully.
I shake my head quickly. “No. Never.” I inhale and swallow the lump forming in my throat.
“So what are you going to do?” Callum asks.
I try to steady my breathing as I say, “Turn myself in. Tell the police the truth. The only reason my mom’s in prison is because of my testimony. So if I go to the police and tell them what really happened—”
“Would they believe you?” Callum interrupts.
I shrug helplessly. “Maybe they would now. After he shot me.”
“True,” Zephyr says quietly.
“Do you want to go to jail, Tiger?” Jax asks.
The question hits me hard, and I start crying again. I shake my head. “No.”
Jax says, “Then don’t go to the police.”
“What if he gets away with it again?” My voice breaks.
“I feel like I have to. It’s been eating at me for six years.
” I point at my chest as more tears fall.
“I put my mom in prison. I thought I was protecting her, but I wasn’t.
And I haven’t been able to tell her how sorry I am. I’m so fucking sorry for what I did.”
Jax takes my hand from Zephyr and holds it between both of his. “Tiger, you almost just died. You were shot. You need to be taking it easy right now.”
I nod. I wipe the tears from my face and let out a shaky breath. “I know. I know… I just… I’ve never been able to tell anyone any of this. And it feels good to know that I’m not crazy.”
“You’re not crazy,” Zephyr says firmly.
“You’re not,” Callum adds.
I nod and look at all three of them. “I don’t actually want to stay here. At this house. I’m just scared of needing you guys too much.”
Jax leans in and kisses my lips. I forget to breathe for a moment. He pulls back, leaning his forehead on mine as he says, “We’re not going anywhere.”
Callum rubs my back. “We’ll always be here.”
Zephyr rests his hand on my knee as he says, “Always.”
About two hours later, all three vehicles are full of my things.
We packed everything I own. Everything that would be meaningful to Zinnia. Clothes and books and photos and the stuffed elephant she’s slept with since she was born.
I put the court documents back in Damien’s room where I found them. Right back in the file cabinet. Right back in the folder labeled “Laura—Case Closed.”
I take one last look around his room and wonder if there’s anything else that would be useful for me or Zinnia.
I find my mom’s wedding ring to my biological dad in a jewelry box buried in his closet. The band is thin and silver. Simple. I slip it into my pocket.
I find Zinnia’s important documents in another file. Birth certificate. Social security card. Medical records. I take all of it.
And when I’m gathering those papers, I come across his bank account information.
There’s a statement showing monthly payments to UCLA. Tuition. Books. Fees.
He has a credit card under my name making the payments automatically.
I stare at it for a long moment.
Then I leave it exactly where I found it.
Fucking asshole.
On the way to Jax and Zephyr’s house, I feel something I haven’t felt in years.
Relief.
Heavy. Complete. Overwhelming relief that I’m truly not completely alone.
I hold Jax’s hand in the car. He brings it to his lips and kisses the back of my hand.
And all I feel is calmness.
Not happiness. Not joy. Not peace.
Just relief that I survived. That I’m still here. That I finally told someone the truth. And not just one person but three.
And they didn’t leave.