Epilogue Adela
The arena is full in a way the practice rink never is.
It’s the playoffs, whatever that means. There are hundreds of people, noise that builds and crashes like waves, and energy that vibrates through the stands and makes the air feel alive.
I'm in the front row. I got here early enough to claim my spot. The pendant sits against my collarbone. I touch it without thinking, the familiar weight grounding me. The book is in my bag. Not because I planned to take it out, just because it goes where I go now.
I watch the teams’ warm-up. The ice is bright under the arena lights, and I can pick out all three of them immediately.
Theo is the tallest. He glides like he’s not moving his feet. He's beautiful out here in a way that makes my chest tighten.
Beckett is steady. Even from this distance, I feel his warmth. I used to mistake it for coldness, but now I know better.
Cody looks good. Really good. He’s back on the ice after months of recovery, moving like he never left. He catches my eye and skates over to the glass.
He blows me a kiss.
The crowd around me erupts in cheers, and I feel heat flood my face. But I put my hand up against the glass anyway, matching where his is on the other side.
He grins and skates away.
Beckett passes the glass next.
His eyes move through the crowd and land on me, and he doesn't stop skating but something in his face changes. He nods once.
I nod back.
Then Theo finds me.
He's at the blue line when he turns and scans the front row. He finds me immediately and holds my gaze for one long moment.
I stare back as my heart races.
Cody circles back around, skating past again. He mouths something through the glass.
You're mine.
I blush.
The puck drops.
The arena explodes into hundreds of voices rising together, cheering, shouting, willing their team to win.
I watch the three of them on the ice.
I think about everything it took to get here. Every damaged decision and every wrong move and every piece of myself I thought I'd lost permanently and found again in the wreckage.
They took everything I was made of and unmade it.
I think about what came after the unmaking.
This.
This came after.
I'm no longer deconstructed. I'm put together in a way I didn't know was possible.
When it’s halftime, the guys disappear, so I reach into my bag and pull out the book.
I open it to a random page — one of the many where Theo's handwriting fills the margins. His notes. His thoughts. His conversation with me across pages and time and everything that happened between then and now.
I read one line.
You deserve better than what you've been given.
I close the book, put it back in my bag, and look at the ice.
I came to UW Seattle not realizing I was looking for answers about what happened to my boyfriend.
I uncovered dark secrets. Went through things I never imagined I'd survive.
I thought I knew what love looked like.
I know better now.
Love doesn't look like one thing.
It doesn't come from one direction or arrive in one form or make sense from every angle.
Sometimes it looks like three men on the ice in January who destroyed you completely and rebuilt something in the wreckage that you didn't know you were capable of having.
Sometimes the thing that unmakes you is the same thing that makes you.
I learned that the hard way.
And I wouldn't change it.
The crowd roars around me as the third period starts.
The three of them skate out first, all glancing towards me.
Cody, Theo, and Beckett.
I smile at them.
I stay.
I was always going to stay.
THE END