CHAPTER FIVE #2
Darius gets me out of my head. “Now, darlin’, let’s get you ready so Doctor Hargrave can check you out and see how far along you are.
What do you say?” I think I nod, but I’m not really paying attention to my movements.
Darius hands me one of those hospital gown thingies, tells me they will be back in a few minutes, and leaves the room.
I get changed and wait for them to come back.
My first instinct is to call Emmett and have him get over here, but I’m also scared he’s not going to want this baby.
He’s never indicated he wants more kids, and I don’t know how he’s gonna take this news.
Luckily, I’m not left with my thoughts for long as the door opens and Doctor Hargrave comes back in.
“Alright, let’s see if we can get a look at your little one and how far along you actually are.
” I lean back on the exam table and after a few minutes of the doctor poking around and looking at her screen, she hits a button, and a whooshing sound comes from the machine.
“Did you have a pregnancy test done the last time you got the shot?” I nod. “Yeah, the clinic at school requires it every time if we’re sexually active at all. It was negative just like the ones I took every time I went and got the shot.”
She’s watching the screen, and I’m wondering what she’s seeing.
A minute or so later, there’s a bumping sound, making me think of horses galloping.
Doctor Hargrave smiles at me. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat.
” She turns the screen toward me so I can see it.
“See right here?” I bob my head, and she continues, “That’s your baby, Kinsley.
” I look at the screen, and at this very second, I know I will do whatever I must to be a good mom, whatever that ends up looking like.
I can’t help the tears that start falling.
“Is it healthy? Did I hurt it in any way by being on the shot?”
The doctor turns off the machine's sound and turns back toward me. “From everything I can see, you and your baby look healthy. We are going to take some blood and do some tests just to ensure everything is as it should be.” She continues, giving me more information. “In terms of the shot, the baby should be fine. This happens in about one in a hundred cases, and the babies born don’t seem to have adverse effects. Now, from what I saw and the information you provided, it looks as though you are about fourteen weeks along.” Holy crap.
That’s not just barely pregnant. That means…
“Kinsley?” Shit, pay attention, woman. I look over at the doctor and shake my head.
“I’m sorry. I got in my head, thinking. I’m fourteen weeks along?
” She closes my file and nods. “You are. That means you’re past the first trimester.
It also means if you don’t want to continue the pregnancy—” I stop her right there.
I may not be certain about much at this moment, but that I know without question. “I do. I want this baby.”
Doctor Hargrave then explains the tests she’s going to have done and when I need to come see her again. She confirms that what I’ve been feeling the last few days is most likely a cold combined with pregnancy symptoms.
Doctor Hargrave gets up to leave the room so I can change before Darius comes back in to draw some blood.
“My staff and I are here for you through this whole journey. Don’t hesitate to call or email if you have any questions or concerns.
I know you have a lot of people in your family with recent experience, but this is yours, and you can always come to us here.
” I don’t know how she knew I needed that, but I wipe the last of my tears away and thank her.
Suddenly, I have a lot more to figure out than just how to tell my dad I’m dating someone.
Emmett
Something is going on with Kinsley. She’s not ghosted me, but our communication has been pretty minimal since Friday. It’s Thursday, and I haven’t seen her in person since she was holed up in bed sick last week.
She responds to my texts but seems evasive, and I don’t know what to fucking think.
Last night I came out and asked her if she was mad at me or had her feelings changed.
She told me she wasn’t mad and she was still in love with me.
She was just working out some things in her head and trying to catch up at work after being gone for almost a week.
I know her job means a lot to her, but I think it’s a cover. For what? I don’t know.
Maybe I’m missing something, and I have a good idea who to talk to about it.
If Kinsley makes some sort of excuse tomorrow about not seeing me, I’m gonna go have a conversation.
Kinsley and our relationship mean enough to me to not sit back and let life happen.
Sometimes action is needed, and with her getting into her head about who the fuck knows what, as her man, it’s my job to make her fucking communicate.
*********
It’s almost five on Friday evening, and I’ve had all of three texts from my woman all day. I think combined, those texts had maybe ten words. Two were telling me she loved me, and the third said it was girls’ night at the apartment and that she was going to hang out with Mary and Christy.
I just dropped Booker off at my parents’ for a sleepover. I’m going back over in the morning as we’re going fishing with Dad and Way. Before I pull out of their driveway, I send out a text.
Me: Hey, you got a few minutes to talk?
Meg: Yeah, we’re just at home about to open a bottle of wine. Booker okay?
Me: Yeah, he’s fine. Just dropped him off at Mom and Dad’s. I need to talk some shit out and could use an ear, one that understands women. You know that means I can’t talk to any of my brothers.
Meg: What you’re not saying is you can’t talk to your parents since they haven’t met the unsaid person yet, and would ask you twenty questions. You and your gal break up?
Me: No, but something is going on. Too hard to just text it.
Meg: Yeah, come on over. Maddie and I are both here and willing to help if we can. I know most people wouldn’t go to their ex-wife for advice in the romance department, but we’ve never been normal.
Me: Lol, no, we haven’t. I’ll be there in a few.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Why would I go to the person I used to be married to, to figure out why the woman I’m in love with seems to be avoiding me?
Simple. She’s one of my best friends. We didn’t end like most marriages.
We ended because we both realized we were living as friends who loved each other, but neither of us was in love anymore.
I’m not sure we ever were. We just got along so well that the next logical step was marriage.
Then came having a family, so we had Booker.
We did the steps everyone expects a couple to do.
I know we’re eternally grateful for Booker and wouldn’t change anything in the past, but we decided individually and then together that we both wanted the kind of love our parents have, and we didn’t.
She met Maddie a few years ago, and they are as happy as can be.
I couldn’t be happier for them. So yeah, that’s why I’m driving over to my ex-wife’s house to figure out why the woman who I’m pretty damn sure is the love of my life is not quite, but almost, ghosting me.
I also figure Meg knows me well enough that she’ll tell me if I’m being an idiot and did something wrong.
Just a few minutes later, I’m walking up the walkway to the house.
The door opens, and Meg stands there with a grin on her face.
“I’m not sure if I should take this as a compliment that you’re coming to me to talk or more of a condemnation of Way and Cash and their lack of understanding of women.
” I reach her and give her a one-armed hug.
“Let’s meet in the middle and call it some of each. ”
I walk inside and follow Meg over to their dining room table, where Maddie is pouring three glasses of whiskey.
She looks up and greets me with a smile.
“Meg gave me a quick summary. I thought this might need something stronger than wine.” I take a seat, and she hands me a glass.
I take a sip and enjoy the slight burn the whiskey gives as it goes down my throat.
Meg sits down across from me with Maddie sitting down next to her.
“You okay if I’m here, or do you need a few minutes alone?
” I shake my head. “You are more than welcome to stay. I need all the help and advice I can get.” Meg, ever the person to keep people on track, speaks up.
“So why don’t you tell us exactly what’s going on.
Tell us everything, then once we know everything, we can see if there’s a way to help. ”
I share everything that has happened between Kinsley and me, going over the last two weeks. While I'm telling it, Maddie asks to see my texts with Kinsley. After I tell them everything, Meg looks over at Maddie, and they do a silent communication thing. I take a sip of whiskey while they do that.
Meg looks back at me, and I swear she’s looking at me like I’ve seen her look at Booker when she knows he knows but isn’t using his head.
“I think it’s pretty obvious to me. Did you really think about everything you told me?
” Maddie nods like she knows the answer, just like Meg and I’m supposed to magically know.
“That's all I’ve thought about. I don’t get it. ”
Meg shakes her head at me. “Most of the time I think you’re so much smarter than your brothers, but it’s times like this that make me question that.”
I glare at Meg as I question coming to her for help.
She shakes her head as she chuckles at me.
“I see I’m gonna have to break this down like I break down math problems for Booker.
” I don’t say a word because I know whatever would come out right now would be full-on smartass.
See? That right there tells me I’m smarter than my brothers.
Meg sighs and rolls her eyes at me. “Where was Kinsley going the last time she messaged you with more than a one or two-word answer?” I think back to Friday.
“Um…she was going to the doctor. She had to get her birth control shot and was going to see if there was something she could get to help her with that bug she had.” Did she get bad news?
I look at both of them. “Do you think they told her that her symptoms meant something worse?”
Maddie must take pity on me because she speaks up.
Being a medical sales representative, she might have some insight.
Fuck, what am I thinking? Meg is a fucking nurse.
They both will know. “Did you know that when a woman goes in to get her birth control shot, if she is sexually active, there is one test she has to have done almost every time?” Where is she going with this? Now I’m more worried than frustrated.
Meg reaches over and pats my hand. “Emmett. They make you take a pregnancy test.” Oh. Ohhh. “So she’s most likely pregnant. She’s pregnant and not talking to me about it.”
Maddie then asks me a question that I don’t have an answer to, but it would fucking explain Kinsley’s lack of communication.
“Have you possibly implied or said out loud at some point in her presence that you didn’t want any more kids?
” I shake my head. “No. I know for a fact I haven’t said I don’t want more kids because I do.
” I try to think back to see if I’ve said anything that might have made her think otherwise.
I finish my whiskey, but I can’t for the life of me think of something that I said or did that would make Kinsley question my feelings for her or wanting more kids.
Meg brings me back to reality. “Honestly, you probably didn’t specifically say something, but I know when I was pregnant, I would read into or look for meaning behind what someone said all the time.
Hell, remember that time that I lost my shit because I swore you didn’t like me anymore and thought I was ugly.
” I immediately remember that exact moment.
“Yeah, I came into the bedroom to give you a cup of tea in the morning and told you I would make breakfast while you got ready for the day.”
Maddie laughs at my answer, and Meg glares at her but responds.
“You didn’t say anything close to what I took it to be, but in my mind, filled with pregnancy hormones and emotions that I was horrible at controlling, my response seemed perfectly acceptable.
I’m betting it’s something you said in passing that has her this way.
If she is in fact pregnant, not only is she dealing with that unexpected news, but she’s wrestling with the thought of possibly losing you if she thinks you don’t want more kids.
” Maddie interjects with another layer to this mess.
“If she hasn’t brought up the fact that you two are dating to her dad, then that’s another stress about telling him about you and her being pregnant. ”
Fuck. They’re right. I can imagine just how freaked out she is if she really is pregnant.
The urge to go over to her apartment right now is overwhelming.
I need her to know I’m in this relationship one hundred percent and would love any kids she sees to bless me with.
I rub my hand over my face as I think about her stressing about this without me being there to support her.
Meg, who knows me all too well, throws out another possibility. “Remember, we don’t know for certain that she is pregnant. Something else could be going on. Hell, maybe she’s changed her mind and doesn’t know how to break things off with you.”
Maddie tries to hide her laugh, but she fails miserably as Meg turns to glare at her.
She waves her hand as she tries to stop.
“Sorry. I know this whole thing ain’t funny, but Emmett just had the same look on his face that Booker gets when he thinks you’ve said something ridiculous. That was amazing.”
I look back over to Meg and respond with every cell in my body telling me I’m right.
“No. She wouldn’t just change her mind like that.
I know it’s gotta be she’s pregnant. I’m not gonna even think about any other possibility.
Tomorrow, I’m gonna find her and have a conversation.
” She’s gonna have to share her thoughts with me, because I’ll be damned if I let her go when I just found her.