Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
SHELLY
M y small heels click on the tiled floor of the planning council offices. I smooth a clammy palm down my silk blouse as if straightening out invisible creases.
Clutching my laptop under my arm, I strut down a long corridor, following a member of staff. As I channel my spirit animal, the turtle, I hope to teach the planning office wisdom about the ecosystem in our waters and on our beaches. We need this more than we need another luxury apartment block.
“The conference room is just up ahead, Miss Myrtle,” the lady from reception says.
Men’s laughter comes into earshot as we approach the large wooden doors with frosted glass. I’m sure they’re all having a laugh at my expense. My cheeks heat, wondering if they’ve all seen the newspapers.
She knocks on the door and opens it. “Miss Myrtle is here. ”
The laughter quietens. “Send her in,” a man’s voice says.
Inhaling a deep breath, I feign confidence. Something I’ve mastered recently after a week of sniggers, whispers, and stares. I straighten my green jacket and matching knee-length skirt, a classy outfit Lennon picked out for me from her thrift store. Today I mean business and a bunch of chuckling hyenas will not stop me from getting my point across.
“I’ll leave you to it, miss.” The lady walks back down the hall and I step into the room. Tall glass windows give the perfect view of the river and town from the second floor. A man gestures to the front of the conference table, where a presentation screen awaits me.
“Thank you for seeing me today. I’ll just set this up and then begin the presentation.” Setting my laptop down on the stand, I glance around the conference table at all the members of the planning department. My heart skips a beat.
Finn straightens in his seat next to his father. All the confidence I’d summoned evaporates in an instant. With trembling fingers, I open my laptop, then fumble with the wires to connect to the screen.
The pulse in my temple drowns out the clearing of throats and scrapes of chairs behind me.
A shadow covers my laptop. Finn’s rough hand wraps around mine as he takes the lead from me. “Let me help you with that, Miss Myrtle.”
Tingles travel up my arm, my body betraying me as it always does in his presence. “Thank you.” My knees weaken. After weeks of preparation, I’m suddenly a fumbling mess.
Finn turns on my laptop and makes sure it’s linked to the presentation monitor. An image of an emergence fills the big screen, along with my desktop files and folders. Before he walks away, he leans in and whispers, “Relax. You got this.”
My skin breaks out in goosebumps where his breath fans my neck. I was fine before I saw him. I had no idea he was going to be listening in on my speech.
Finn returns to his seat, his sad blue eyes don’t leave mine. It’s comforting, but at the same time, I’m drowning in them. All the hurt from before comes to the surface as waves of emotion crash over me.
I count to three in my head and inhale a deep breath while I set my slide show going. The screen lights up with my PowerPoint presentation and I begin.
“Thank you again for allowing me to attend a hearing to address my reasons for the appeal to the coastal development put forward by Dream Developments and Construction.” I relax and breathe a little easier now Finn isn’t so close, but with his eyes on me, my skin itches.
I smooth a hand over my hair, half up and half down in a claw clip. “Coastal development impacts the life cycle of sea turtles in several ways.” I tap my laptop, moving to the next slide. “Number one. Development on beaches encroaches turtle nesting areas.
I tap the laptop again. “Number two. Pollution from construction sites contaminates the waters where sea turtles mate.” I’m in my groove now. If I keep my eyes on the screen and not on Finn, I can get through this. “Three. Debris from construction and changes to the landscape can make it difficult for female turtles to find a sufficient spot for their nest, not to mention vulnerable hatchlings navigating their way back to the ocean.”
“And last but not least is light pollution from construction sites or buildings close to nesting areas, which will confuse hatchlings who use the moonlight to navigate their way to the ocean.” I breathe out a sigh of relief at getting through the first part of my talk. “Any questions before I continue?”
I make the mistake of looking around the table and catching Finn’s heated gaze. For years, I’ve talked to tourists, students, kids, and volunteers, but this is by far the hardest speech I’ve ever done. I shouldn’t care that Finn’s here. He shouldn’t have an effect on me, but he does. I’ve tried to forget him and move on, but seeing him again reminds me of all the kisses we shared, all the smiles, laughs and special moments together.
“Miss?”
I look around the table, finding everyone’s eyes on me. “I’m sorry. What was that?”
“Mr. Kilmore here just said there are plenty of beaches. Won’t the turtles just move farther along?”
“The area in question is the quietest part of the beach. Farther along is much busier and getting close to the Hayes Resort and the marina.”
“Why can’t they go to the nature reserve at the other side of the bay?” Finn’s father says.
“Are you going to tell them? Maybe we could put a few signs up for the females when they come ashore.” I snort as I laugh. My hand flies to my mouth as my cheeks flush. The only other person laughing is Finn.
Our eyes lock, and he smiles at me. It’s reassuring, but it makes my heart ache for him. It’s still sore from when he ripped my chest wide open. I miss him. I miss his friendship, but above all, I miss feeling like the most beautiful and intelligent woman in Magnolia Point because of him.
I navigate my way back to the task at hand, steering myself away from his ocean eyes. I have to remind myself why we’re not together. He lied to me. Despite making me feel respected, he disrespected me through his initial dishonesty.
“Let’s discuss the ecosystem and the significance of turtle nesting on our beach.” I skip to the next part of the presentation, but I’m drawn back to mesmerising blue eyes, like the sea on a calm day, inviting me in to its warm waters.
After gazing for a beat too long, someone says, “Please continue, Miss Myrtle.”
I shake myself and try to remember where I was. Accidentally, I tap the laptop, skipping ahead on my presentation. My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I fumble to find the right slide. “Just bear with me a second.”
Finn stands from his seat and walks in front of the large windows towards me. “I think what Miss Myrtle is going to talk about is how the beach at Magnolia Point provides an ecosystem for many species. It’s not just turtles we’re talking about here, but a nourished beach is crucial for many wildlife habitats.”
He eases my fingers away from the laptop, clicking backwards on the slideshow to where I left off. An image of various creatures appears on screen and he talks through the various birds, sea life, and mammals that development could affect.
His father stares at him with thin slits for eyes and a tight lip, but Finn doesn’t seem phased at all and continues to take over my presentation as if he’s done his research. What I can’t figure out is why.
Finn points to the screen on the next slide. “Nesting turtles provides important ecosystem benefits…”
I watch in awe as he takes the lead. I’m no longer hearing what he’s saying, but reliving all the moments we shared. Why is this so painful? We weren’t dating that long, but it feels like I’ve lost a part of myself .
Before I know it, he’s done the entire presentation. “Questions?” he says, opening his palms out to the group.
“I thought you were in favour of the development. Isn’t this your project, Jones? I’m confused,” Mr. Kilmore senior says.
Finn glances at me, then the group. His father is sitting with his arms crossed, practically spitting feathers. “Gentlemen, I only want what’s best for Magnolia Point. I trust whatever conclusion you come to will be the best outcome. I’m simply ensuring you have all the facts.”
“Did you have any more to add, Miss Myrtle?” another man says.
“No, Fi—” I clear my throat. “Mr. Jones has explained everything perfectly, thank you.” I close my laptop and unplug it from the big screen. “Thank you again for listening to my appeal. I hope you make the right decision.” I scurry out of the room as quick as I can, needing to breathe. It’s as if they sucked the life right out of me, or was it just Finn?
The door shuts behind me, and I take a moment to fill my lungs. My heels click against the tiles as I slink away down the corridor, desperate to be out of here and change into something that’s more me.
Just as I’m about to press the button on the elevator, Finn calls out my name.
His foot stops the doors from closing, and he squeezes through the gap.
“Doors closing,” the monotone voice says through the speaker.
My heart pounds in my throat. The mirrored space shows Finn all around me, causing the hairs to prickle on the back of my neck.
Once we descend, my stomach flips.
Finn stops the elevator .
I steady myself as the floor shakes. “What are you doing?” I turn around, seeing him in all directions. The air grows thin.
“I need to talk to you.” He steps closer, forcing me against the mirror.
I lower my laptop bag to the floor so my hands are free to push against his chest, keeping a safe distance between us. I don’t trust my body around him. “You could have just spoken to me without trapping me in an enclosed space.”
“You’re not claustrophobic, are you?” His eyes widen in concern.
“Only with you.”
“I miss you. I miss my turtle girl. You have to know I’m sorry I never told you my true identity.” His hand cups my face, his thumb stroking my cheek.
“I can’t go through this again, Finn. It’s too painful. You really hurt me.” I move my head to the side, not wanting to gaze into his eyes.
“I know. Let me make it up to you.”
“Is that what that was in there? You trying to make it up to me?”
“I just want to see you happy again. I want to be the one making you happy again, and if that means defying my father, I will.”
“It shouldn’t be about picking a side, Finn. It’s about doing the right thing.”
“I want to do the right thing, Shelly. Before I met you, I wouldn’t have thought twice about ecosystems and wildlife. You make me want to be a better man.” His nose brushes against mine. I push against his chest, but he’s too strong for me, crowding my frame.
“You owe me a kiss,” he says, hovering above my lips.
My brow furrows as I try to wriggle from his hypnotising gaze. “I’ve given you a hundred or more kisses. I think I’ve paid my dues.”
“Those kisses were given freely of your own wanting. I haven’t taken my ten thousand dollar kiss yet, and I’m going to take it now, to remind you how much I love you.”
I suck in a breath just as he seals our mouths together with a hot, searing kiss. He starts off slow and gentle, his tongue stroking against mine as he licks away the anger in all my unspoken words.
My body melds to his, letting him take what he wants while my mind tries to catch up and protest, but I’m silenced, not only by his mouth, but by my own thoughts turning to a scrambled mess.
His hands roam freely over my silk blouse, tugging the fabric in a desperate attempt to free it from my skirt. His other hand grips my hair in a tight fist, keeping my head in place so he can devour my lips.
I’m mush in his arms. A boneless mess with wet panties, betrayed by my own body and soul. I kiss him back, not because I want to, but because I need to. My body demands it of me. My arms slip around his neck, if only to cling to him and hold me up, or so I tell myself.
If this is our last kiss, let it be memorable. He frees my blouse, tugging it from my skirt. His rough hand slides underneath, against the bare skin of my back, and he pulls me closer to him, my curves fitting snugly against his hard edges, and one very hard thing in particular.
He pulls away with panting breaths. “I’ve missed these lips so fucking much.” He dives back down for a second round, deeper this time, with all the heat of a blazing campfire.
I’m losing myself in him, my hips rubbing against him. I hate what he’s done to us. He made me so happy and now my heart is broken. No kiss, not even a ten thousand dollar one, can repair it. “I hate you.”
“I love you,” he says against my mouth before slipping his tongue in again.
I fist the back of his shirt, needing to hit something, but I don’t have the energy anymore. With him, I’m a weak shell of the woman I was. I need to find myself again, and this isn’t helping.
Tears sting my eyes. I break the kiss, needing to breathe. “Have you had your money’s worth yet?”
“Have I shown you how much I love you yet?”
“Please, Finn, no more. It hurts too much.”
He swallows and steps back. The loss of his body on mine is cold. “Hurting you is the last thing I want to do.”
“Then leave me be. I need to move on.”
“But you just kissed me back. You feel it too, I know you do. You know we have a connection.”
“That was a kiss goodbye, Finn. We’re from different worlds.” I muster the strength to press the button on the elevator. An arrow flashes down and we continue our descent in silence. I can’t look him in the eye. If I do, I’m afraid I’ll give in to him again.