Thirteen
The fact that the murder victims might be sympathetic didn’t stop people from continuing to cheer the Canceled Killer on.
—Crime Hive podcast
And then the Volvo’s braking system kicked in automatically, slamming both Jude and me into the steering wheel as it came to a screeching halt, the car not even tapping the wooden barricade. Seconds later, the train roared past.
“Oh, thank God,” Jude said, dropping his head back against the seat and squeezing me even tighter. “Thank God for automatic braking.”
“We had him!” I slapped the steering wheel in annoyance. Every single exclamation mark in the dashboard was lit, the Volvo judging me harshly, and the heads-up display scolded me about braking properly. I flipped off the dashboard and its dumb safety features designed to keep us in one piece.
“I thought we were going to die. Did we die?”
“We’re fine, Jude,” I said, glaring out the windshield, our headlights illuminating the spray-painted graffiti on the freight cars speeding past.
Annoyed, I watched the train cars clack by.
Several empty flat rail cars sped across the tracks.
Over the empty flat cars, I saw the Wagoneer at the end of the road slow, headlights bright.
Then it took a right down a road beyond.
I watched its rear lights through the train cars until I couldn’t see them anymore.
“We lost him,” I groaned, disappointed.
“Yes, but we lived. So, a point for us.” Jude’s breath was warm on my neck. I’d forgotten for a second I was sitting on his lap. He took off his glasses and leaned his forehead against my back. “I think I’m having a panic attack.”
“You are not.”
“Ella, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Jude said.
“How to disengage the stupid auto brakes?” I complained as I punched random buttons on the large console.
“No. Something else.” His voice sounded serious. “Oof, watch that elbow,” he said, even as I knocked the top of my head against his sunroof as I slid off his lap, over the gear shift, and safely back to the passenger side seat.
“Sorry,” I managed as I awkwardly sank back into my seat. The Volvo had the nerve to ding at me to fasten my seat belt.
I looked up and met his dark brown gaze and found myself falling into two puppy-dog pools.
His eyes were so big and round without his glasses.
I liked his flushed face, and dilated eyes, the way he wasn’t at all cool or collected right at this moment.
Jude almost always kept his emotions in check, but he was rattled right then.
Rattled in a way that I… liked. More than liked.
Something shifted then. I didn’t know if it was because we’d both nearly been hit by a train or because adrenaline from the thrill of the chase still pumped in my veins, or because it had been a hot minute since I’d last been laid, or because Oscar told me specifically that Jude was off-limits.
But for the first time since I was in middle school, I thought about what it would be like to kiss Jude.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a long time,” Jude said.
“That you hate my driving because I nearly ran your car into a train?” I quipped.
Jude chuckled. “No. But, yes. Probably that.” He sighed. “Listen, Ella, I…” Jude laughed a little. “Wow, this is harder than I thought.”
“You have never in your life had a hard time giving me your unsolicited opinion,” I said. “What is it? Do I have spinach in my teeth? That would be weird, because I haven’t eaten spinach in two years.”
Jude shook his head. “Okay. So remember when we talked about the job in Chicago?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, well, I applied for the job because you’re in Chicago.”
“Because you don’t make friends easy, and because you wanted someone to grab coffee with.”
He stared at me. “I didn’t just want to have coffee with you.”
I blinked fast. He stared at me with an earnestness that could only mean one thing. It made me realize all this time I’d been completely oblivious to what was right in front of my nose. Jude liked me liked me.
The thought sent a shiver of delight through me, all the way deep to my inner twelve-year-old self. And despite all the ways I tried to deny it, that tween crush still felt alive in a dusty corner of my heart. All I needed, I realized, was a little spark to bring it back to life.
Then I did what Oscar had forbidden me to do.
I leaned in and kissed him.
Jude’s surprise gave way to soft enthusiasm as his lips met mine, like they’d been plotting this for years.
Now that I was kissing Jude, all the reward sectors of my brain lit up like a slot machine, and I wondered why I wasn’t kissing him every second of every day.
This wasn’t the awkward hand-kiss of my childhood crush.
Oh, hell no. This was an electrical fire, pure flame dancing up and down all the nerve endings in my body.
Jude’s hands found my lower back, and mine snaked up and locked behind his neck, and I pressed my body into his, finding that we fit together, perfectly.
Damn, he was good. He wasn’t cold and scientific, not now.
He was passionate in a way I didn’t think possible.
He was warm and soft and amazing. I didn’t think he’d taste this good.
His lips against mine, breathing his air, felt like…
some place I’d been seeking for a long time. I wanted to live here.
We deepened the kiss. My hands were in his hair.
I forgot we were in public, because I itched to take off his jacket, to whittle away the layers between us until it was pure skin on skin.
This man tasted like every dessert I had ever wanted in my life.
Kissing him felt like coming home in the best possible way.
And then a sheriff’s SUV hit a single high note of a truncated siren behind us.
Jude pulled away first, panting; then I saw the sheriff’s SUV in the rearview mirror and noticed the red and blue flashing lights filling the car.
This was my worst nightmare. Had Oscar caught us making out?
I’d never hear the end of it. I was more panicked about that than a murder charge, which told you something about my headspace.
I pulled away from Jude, swiping at the corner of my mouth, guilt slinking down my spine. Then the driver got out of the SUV, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Hector straighten his hat as he sauntered up to Jude’s window. I guess he’d finished marking off the crime scene.
“Evening, Jude,” he said, then glanced at me with a steely gaze. “Ella.”
I leaned over across Jude’s lap. “You need to tell Oscar that we’ve been chased all over town by that Jeep Wagoneer I told him about.”
“Jeep… what?” Hector looked confused.
“He’s got the partial plate already,” I said. “Illinois. HMP. Or HMS. But the plate’s missing now. White Jeep Wagoneer, probably early eighties model. Nearly ran us off the road just now.”
“It was speeding, too,” Jude said, as if this would put the nail in the coffin.
“Okay.” He glanced at me, then Jude, and back again. I didn’t think he believed us about the Jeep Wagoneer. “You two really shouldn’t be out here alone. What with—”
He abruptly swallowed what he was about to say next. What with a killer on the loose. He looked at me, then Jude, and it was impossible to know what he was thinking. Did he think I was a suspect just like Oscar did?
He glanced at Jude again. “You all right… Jude?”
“Yeah,” Jude said, nodding.
Hector sent me a glance. “Okay then, well, train’s gone,” he finally said, nodding to the empty tracks and lifted gate. “You two should get home. ’Specially you, Jude.”
What did that mean?
Jude nodded. “Yes, sir,” he said as Hector gave us a stiff nod and walked back to his car.
“I think Hector is worried I’m going to murder you,” I told Jude.
“He is not,” Jude scoffed. Jude checked both directions along the train tracks four different times before he carefully hit the gas and set the Volvo into motion. His inner grandma driver had returned.
“Can I drive?” I asked him.
“Absolutely not,” Jude declared, sending me a pretty vicious side-eye. He focused on the road, but after a second, sent me another furtive glance. “So… uh, are we going to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?” I asked, pretending to pick lint off my pants.
“The, uh…” Jude struggled to say it out loud.
“The fact that Hector and Oscar think I’m a cold-blooded killer?”
“No,” Jude said, shaking his head furiously. “The, uh… you know…” Jude was adorable when he ran out of words like this.
“That kiss when I put my tongue in your mouth?” I offered helpfully.
Jude turned pink. “Yeah. That.” He sent me another sidelong glance as he turned down Main Street, toward Koi.
“Why? Does it ruin your plans with your living, breathing thing?” I asked.
Jude turned magenta. “No,” he said. “I just think. We should probably talk about it.”
“No, we shouldn’t,” I said, staring at my fingernail. “Oscar told me you’re off-limits.”
“He… what?” Jude actually took his eyes off the road and stared at me. His hands even dropped to eight and four.
“The road, Mr. Safety First!” I cried, as Jude was slowly veering into the oncoming lane of traffic. Jude righted the car.
“Why did he say that?”
“He said you were coming out of a serious relationship and you were fragile, like a little baby, and I’m a horrible monster who chews men up and spits them out.”
“Oh,” Jude said. “I don’t think you’re a horrible monster.”
“Tell Oscar that.” I frowned. “He thinks I’ll never settle down.”
“I think you will,” Jude said. “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
I scoffed. “Just because you’re in love with your living, breathing thing or whatever, doesn’t mean everyone gets that. Maybe I never want to settle down.”
I was ready to use the same arguments I’d had when Tammy came at me.
“You don’t have to get married,” Jude said. “Finding your person isn’t about getting a piece of paper or a legal arrangement.”
“Is that what your mystery woman thinks?”
Jude pulled into the driveway of Koi. I groaned as I saw Mateo’s green Pinto still parked on the street in front of Koi. Ugh. That meant he hadn’t left yet.
I did not have the energy for this.
“That’s Spider-Man’s car,” I said and groaned as I nodded toward my Airstream. “Will you come with me in case he’s still there?”
“Why?” Jude asked, alarmed.
“I’m not inviting you into a throuple, don’t worry. I might need backup if he hasn’t moved on. His car is still here. I told him to leave earlier, but clearly he didn’t listen.”
Jude stared at me.
“I helped you with Kenzie,” I pointed out.
Jude laughed a little. “Are you that afraid of a serious emotional discussion?” Jude asked me.
“More than mushrooms,” I admitted.
I knocked on my own Airstream door just in case Mateo was lounging around naked wearing only his Spidey mask, because that’s 100 percent something he’d do. The lights were on, but the curtains were drawn, so I just saw a yellow glow from the windows.
“Hello, Mateo?” I asked the closed door.
“Yes, hello?” Jude echoed. “I’m Ella’s breakup wingman.”
“Shhh,” I hushed him, but Jude was taking pure delight in this. “Mateo?” I called again as I turned the latch of the door and found it unlocked. I swung open the door and hopped up the step, just in time to kick a pillow on the floor that I hadn’t left there.
I glanced around and realized the trailer was a mess, and not the kind of mess I made, either.
Pillows sat torn on the floor, stuffing pulled out of them.
All the blankets of my bed had been pulled off and lay crumpled on the floor, the bare mattress extended up so the cubby beneath was revealed.
A mug was broken on the floor by the sink.
“What the—” I growled, stepping into the mess. My duffel sat upside down on the table, its contents strewn across the floor. The intruder even left the refrigerator door open, which Jude cautiously stepped around me and closed.
“Wow, I guess Spider-Man didn’t take the breakup news well,” Jude remarked dryly. Then he glanced at me, worried. “Or do you think this is the Canceled Killer?”
“If this was the Canceled Killer, then he didn’t allow his usual three days after leaving the skulls for me,” I said. “Then again, if he took Allen Gordon, he’s been breaking his own rules lately. He’s antsy.”
“What does it mean if he’s antsy?”
“Nothing good,” I said, dread pooling in my belly as I glanced at my trailer. The hands that made this mess weren’t cold and calculated. They were upset and angry.
And that was bad news for me.
Very bad.
I couldn’t shake the feeling he’d come for me. That he’d grown impatient. My time was really running out.
Ready or not?
I wasn’t ready.